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Chuck Norris...
So he was in a commercial today for me thinking...what are your favorite Chuck Norris jokes? JUST the good ones.

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I think my favorite was "There is no such thing as evolution - there is just a list of animals Chuck Norris left alive."
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My favorite was one my sister had written on her message board on her dorm room door.
"The grass is always greener on the other side... except for Chuck Norris' lawn, which is covered in blood and tears."
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Here's one: "When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes, ever."
"Today, Chuck Norris walked down the street with an erection. There were no survivors."
"God said 'Let there be light.' Chuck Norris answered 'Say please.'"
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Sega once developed an arcade machine where you fought Chuck Norris.  You put in your quarters, hit start and the game displays "YOU LOSE"  It was their most popular arcade machine ever

Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris brought a stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub. Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had gathered, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the animal, breaking its neck, to remind the crew once more that Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away.
These are some of the best ones...

I ...laugh too hard at them. I shouldn't be this amused.

I demand more!

LOL, just kidding, I'd beg...but its unbecoming when you are 6' ...and I couldn't look demure if my life depended on it.

I just did a search on them and I was very dissapointed. Sad

BUT, a few cracked me up...this one is 'approved' by Chuck himself. If I may call him Chuck...

"Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice."
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Chuck Norris invented the bolt-action rifle, liquor, sexual intercourse, and football-- in that order.

Chuck Norris doesn't believe in Germany.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

You realize I won't be able to stop now...right?
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