(After the three is counted, Mr. Wiggles immediately rolls out of the ring, hops the guardrail and runs for the hills as the theme to the Benny Hill show plays instead of his normal music. Wren starts to give chase but then gives up as Wiggles was just not going to be caught. Wiggles runs to the outside of the arena, where a clown car is waiting. He jumps through one of the back windows and the car takes off, his feet still kicking outside the window. Hannibal stays at ringside, waving him on. The crowd boos the whole situation... until Wren leaps over the top rope into a cross-body block on Hannibal, crushing him to the floor!! Wren pounds in his head as security floods the area, eventually seperating the two)

(A video package airs before the next match, entitled "A Year in Moments". This one shows Nomad's trimphant return to EFW at Chance of a Lifetime 4 and going on to win his starting battle royal)

Jim Biggins Voice-Over : "At this year's Chance of a Lifetime event, Extreme Firepro Wrestling saw the return of several of it's flagship superstars... including the incomperable Nomad."

Nomad Voice-Over : "Going in, I knew this was going to be a big moment for me, but until I walked through that curtain, not even *I* had any idea just how big it would be."

(The video shows the reactions of various fans all over the arena when Nomad's music first hits, then proceeds to show him clear the ring of Bo Abobo)

Bret Stillman Voice-Over : "You gotta understand, man - this guy is the reason I'm here today. He's the reason a lot of guys my age are here. When his music hit, I was just in disbelief. I had to see it for myself. It gave me goosebumps - hell I've got them right now just thinking about it!"

Nomad Voice-Over : "There wasn't a lot of doubt about how I'd do in there, but there was some. I mean, these guys are all younger than me, all looking to make a name for themselves. I knew I was a marked man out there..."

(Video quickly shows Jack Dod cheap-shotting Nomad in the back during his celebration)

Nomad Voice-Over : "... but once I got going, I knew there was no stopping me. I knew I was going to clear that ring."

(A quick montage of the eliminations)

Jim Biggins Voice-Over : "And clear the ring he did: Nomad was the only man left standing after all others had been eliminated. With so few entrants left to go, most fans in the arena thought Nomad's victory was all but assured. Until...."

(The video shows "Iron Blue Intention" hit at COAL4 - some fans are shocked, some worried, some kneeling - as Vermin comes down the isle towards the ring)

Nomad Voice-Over : "I was just thinking 'Oh god, not again!'"

Bret Stillman Voice-Over : "I was shocked, excited, you name it - I mean, this is history...."

(Shot switches to show Vermin and Nomad standing mid-ring, nose-to-chest, as a million flashbulbs go off)

Bret Stillman Voice-Over : "... THIS is what this sport is all about. This moment right here."

Vermin Voice-Over : "There few greater satisfactions than inflicting pain on Nomad. Therefore, in this moment, looking down on him.. I was extremely satisfied."

(Video shows the first punches thrown between the two, and the crowd explodes!)

Jim Biggins Voice-Over : "Nomad would go on to be eliminated by Pantheon leader Alexander Atlas... but rest assured, now that he is back where he belongs, there will be another day for Nomad."

(Video shows Nomad heading for the locker room, shaking hands with the fans, then fades)

(A video package airs before the next match, entitled "A Year in Moments". This one shows "The ICON" Rick Idol's successfull title defense at Armageddon 4)

Jim Biggins Voice-Over : "At this year's Armageddon event, Rick Idol went into a match with four of the toughest opponents he's ever faced, and even the confident 'ICON' had doubts about his survival."

Idol Voice-Over : "This was the most important match in my career, bar none. I had a million things going through my mind going into this match. History with Vermin, history with Tyrant, and even history with Furlong. Three guys who all could claim a victory over me and who I could claim a victory over in return. There was a time when there wouldn't have been any doubt in my mind that I would win the match and retain, but this time I felt something deep in my gut. For the first time in a long time, I doubted I had what it took to win."

(The video shows the entrances of all his opponents)

Idol Voice-Over : "I felt it as Vermin's ceremonial entrance was going on, each title they held up I watched and remembered the history behind it. Furlong came out and I thought only of how he had just gotten me to say the words 'I Quit' for the first time in my career not even a week before. And I saw Tyrant come out, completely off his nut and looking more dangerous than I've ever seen him, and he knocked me unconscious on two occassions when he had a CLEAR head. All of this was going through my mind, and I looked at the title I had fought so long to regain, and had finally won on my own: no schemes, no traps, no help. I thought of all this, and I had doubts. 'I'm not going to walk out of this', I kept thinking. One on one each of those men in that ring had the ability to take me out, and I knew it, and I was taking all three of them on at once."

(Video shows Idol's entrance in slow motion)

Idol Voice-Over : "The video changed all that. I had no idea what was going on when that came on the screen. I didn't know who had put it together, and I just stared along with everyone else as my career flashed before my eyes in abbreviated form. Looking back on some of the worst and best moments of my career, it reminded me that my back had been against the wall before and I hadn't backed down then and had no reason to back down now. And then I heard something that I never thought I'd hear - people cheering. For me. Shouting 'ICON' at the top of their lungs without a 'sucks' at the end of it. For years I treated these people like pondscum, and now they were behind me. Irony, huh? They tell me David Mercury picked out the new music for me. Not very regal, but I gotta admit it charged me up big time as I walked through that curtain and saw everyone standing on their feet."

(Then, the video cuts showing various spots from the match in rapid succession)

Jim Biggins Voice-Over : "What happened next? Pure carnage for fifteen minutes. Four of the toughest competitors in the history of EFW tore each other apart mercilessly. There were no friends, only enemies."

Idol Voice-Over : "Adrenaline combined with just pure stubborness is all that kept me going."

Jim Biggins Voice-Over : "The champion took out Jack Furlong, the man who only one week earlier had made him submit in an I-Quit match."

(Footage is shown of the elimination)

Idol Voice-Over : "I won't lie: after the wars I've been having with Furlong this year, he's earned a lot of respect from me. But I took great pleasure in pinning his ass in the center of the ring after hitting the Legend Killer. After embarassing me a week before, and especially after the abuse I had taken in this match, that pin got my fire burning."

Furlong Voice-Over : "Call it whatever you want, pencil neck. I call it luck. Luck that Idol had those two retarded five hundred ton slabs of fat to hide behind. Listen, you want to verbally blow Idol, be my guest, but I don't care if the son of a bitch beats me a hundred times, I ain't doing it! As God as my witness, I will not die, I will not depart this earth until I break my right foot off in Rick Idol's ass. You got that?"

(Next is shown the footage leading up to Vermin's elimination)

Idol Voice-Over : "I've had people comment on the arm attack I used on Vermin in the match. It's something I've always fallen back on in a match, especially with the big guys: they can't toss you around with a hurt arm. Even so, I was as surprised as everybody when Vermin gave up. I mean, I figured I'd just continue to weaken the arm to prevent a Hammer of Hate or the 187, but then I see his foot tapping on the mat and heard the bell. I've beaten Vermin by pinfall before, and up until that moment that had been the biggest accomplishment of my career. Getting a submission from him... it's a different experience. I know how Furlong must have felt, now, getting that win in the I Quit match. It's a big deal, and I don't think anything else I'll do can top it."

Vermin Voice-Over : "For my part, I say only this: I would give Idol a round of applause, but my elbow will not straighten correctly."

Idol Voice-Over : "And then, ironically, it was me and Tyrant again. Round 7, you could call it. Only this time he was wearing those absurd HWO colors again. Make no mistake - I HATE the HWO. With a passion. At first it was because of their connection to Hogan, but it's long since become personal between me and that group. So yeah, Tyrant tossing me around like a ragdoll and powerbombing me AGAIN was pissing me off more than it was hurting me. I'm GLAD I made Tyrant submit. On the night the HWO reformed, I took their number one meal ticket and made im give up while retaining my title. Pure satisfaction."

(Footage of Tyrant's elimination is shown)

Jim Biggins Voice-Over : "We attempted to get comments from Tyrant, but the HWO refused to speak with us, claiming they don't answer to 'biased media'."

(Video shows Idol laying on the mat afterwards, and then making his exit)

Idol Voice-Over : "My final thoughts on it all? I couldn't believe it, really. I laid on that mat and stared up at the lights as my music played and the ref raised my hand, and I just kept thinking, 'I can't believe I did it'. I still feel that way, bit. I mean, at any point in that match any one of those guys could have capitalized and pinned me, eliminating me first from the match. Heh, maybe it was 'divine intervention'. People are saying, 'he's no fluke!', now. Me, I feel like I've finally earned the nickname "ICON", and this belt around my waist feels better than ever. And Potterdam said I would be nothing without him."

Jim Biggins Voice-Over : "We agree with the champion. You can say many things about Rick Idol, but you can no longer say he's a fluke."

(For the next match, Hannibal is introduced last. As he enters the ring, he walks right up to Adams, then kicks and stunners him! Without missing a beat, Hannibal rolls out of the ring and walks to the back, leaving Guzman and Deuce with the downed Adams in the ring. The fans boo him as he walks to the back, pointing to his head a couple of times, then giving a rude gesture towards the ring)

JB : "Looks like we've got a handicap match!"

BH : "That's what Adams gets for trusting Hannibal!"

JB : "How can Adams possibly win now?"

(President Walters and VP RD come to the ring before the main event. RD quiets the crowd down, the takes a mic)

RD : "I don't know about you folks, but that last match was why I'm a wrestling fan!"

(The crowd roars it's agreement)

RD : "It's been one hell of a year already. Where does the time go? Anyway, we're proud to have you here, thanks for supporting us and making this the best wrestling company going today!"

(Another roar of agreement)

RD : "Now the president and I have something we want to--------"

(All of a sudden 'No Love Lost' hits the speakers, cutting off President Walters in mid sentence. Ashton Adler emerges from the entranceway clad in his street arrire of blue jeans, a t-shirt, and his leather biker jacket, and holding a microphone in hand. The crowd erupts into a resounding chorus of boos upon seeing him, and a few begin to toss their drinks and food wrappers in his general direction. He takes one slow, disdain-filled look at the audiance around him before looking at Walters and RD standing in the ring and raising the mic to his mouth. )

Ashton : "Alright, that's it...I've had enough of this bullshit!"

(Ash kicks over a big sign bearing the EFW logo, sending it flying off of the side of the stage and onto the ground below.)

Ashton : "Now it's not very often that I actually come out here to directly address the big mass of morons. But then again this is Scotland. You can't throw a rock without hitting a moron, so I'll continue."

(Ash holds out his arms after his comment, soaking in all of the hatred seething from the crowd.)

Ashton : "Don't get me wrong, the only reason I'm out here right now is to take care of something that's really been pissing me off lately. Under any normal circumstances, I wouldn't be wasting my time. But with each passing week, I start to notice more and more the total corruption that in this sorry excuse for a wrestling federation!"

(He raises his right hand and points at President Walters and RD)

Ashton : "Corruption that you two are the sole cause of! For years now, I've busted my ass on three different continents. One day I find out that the EFW has a spot open for me, and I see my opportunity to not only work for a world class wrestling federation, but to gain the recognition I've worked so goddamn hard to earn. And what do I see when I finally get here? I see a little cardboard cut-out hero named Chris Wren, who would only be out here if he had a break in his schedule. I'm sure he's hanging out at some pansy-assed modern gym's lounge and drinking fruit smoothees with his little butt-buddies Roberto and Magnus ver Magnusson. But I personally have nothing better to do with my time. I see a washed up group of has-beens called The Vigilantes, charging back into action in a sad fuckin' attempt to reclaim lost glory. Nevermind that they're all talentless shitheads who have had every single title and award handed to them on a silver fuckin' platter, but don't forget the ultimate lazy shithead, The Nomad, who seems proud to be the leader of the biggest group of misfits I've ever seen. I see The Children Of Wonderland, who seem more content with playing dress-up and having tea parties instead of actually WRESTLING! I see The Justice League, two pieces of the most overrated garbage in this business, led by a guy whose face you'll find next to the definition of 'retarded' in the dictionary! And I see without a doubt the sorriest world champion in the world...'The Eyesore' Dick Idol! So it's not a matter of me NOT having the time to bring these problems to the attention of you people...it just boils down to the simple fact that I hate each and every single one of you."

(The crowd cheers upon mention of the various superstars' names, but boos heavily once more when Ash completes his last sentence.)

Ashton : "Oh yeah, that's right. God forbid you be grateful to one of the few honest guys in this hellhole of a wrestling federation, but it's perfectly fine to cheer the sorry fuckers who makes it a point to keep chapstick companies from going bankrupt by kissing your worthless asses each and every opportunity they gets! That right there has got to be my biggest problem; you people wouldn't recognize a truly talented athlete unless he walked right up to ya and jammed his boot right into your family jewels! And believe you me, I've come reeeaaal close to that point! And sure, you can go right ahead and call me a bitter asshole till you're blue in the face. When I came here to the EFW I figured that maybe, just MAYBE I had arrived at a place where a guy like me a hard working wrestler, could get recognition for his skills. Because that's what I am; a skillful wrestler. But what do I see instead? Barbed wire boards, flaming baseball bats, half naked women, exploding cages..."

(He points out into the ring again)

Ashton : ."..and two total jackasses running this freakshow."

(The crowd showers Ash with more jeers, and RD begins to lift his mic to speak, but it cut off by Ash before he can even begin a sentence.)

Ashton : "You shut your goddamned hole! You're responsible for this shit and you KNOW IT! When I've worked my ass off for YEARS just to have you two pass me up with a shit eating prettyboy who hocks t-shirts, or an escaped mental patient who can hurl a fireball but wouldn't know the difference between an armbar and an armchair, or a so-called 'world champion" who is way past his prime and can be knocked out with a sneeze, then how do you expect me NOT to be a bitter asshole? You guys know exactly who you are, and you continue to play up to these mindless sheep you call 'fans' as if they actually CARE about you! You're all nothing but flavors of the month, and the only positive side to this cycle is that once the idiots in the crowd grow bored with your little act, they won't hesitate to toss your ass in the garbage where you BELONG."

(Ashton nods his head assuringly and fends off another barrage of paper cups and wrappers as he walks out onto the middle of the ramp.)

RD : "Listen, Adler. These people are telling you you're full of shit, and they're right."

Ashton : "Oh you KNOW what I'm saying is the whole truth and nothing but! When are you going to look yourselves in the mirror and accept the fact that the only reason these 'fans' give a shit about you, and the only reason they adopt you as their 'heros' is because you are so much like alike? You're BOTH worthless, and you know how misery loves company! Why else would you fucksticks boo someone like Jack Furlong?"

(Ashton uses his free hand to point down to his crotch.)

Ashton : "Because you're JEALOUS that you'll never have the balls and fortitude that he does! Why else would you boo a guy like Kirk Adams?"

(Ashton then raises the same hand up, extends his index finger, and taps it against the side of his head)

Ashton : "It's because you're JEALOUS that you don't have HALF of the intelligence that he does! Why else do you boo guys like Zack Sirus and Reid Kalahan?"

(Ashton points out to the crowd, and then throws his arm to the side in a quick sweeping motion)

Ashton : "It's because you're all JEALOUS of the confidince and athleticism that they're overflowing with! Why else would you boo The Dods?"

(Ashton lowers his hand and balls it up into a fist)

Ashton : "Because you're JEALOUS that your own families done have the same sort of close bond and unity that theirs does!"

(The crowd lets Ashton have it with another loud chorus of boos and jeers, but he simply lowers his head and raises his index finger into the air.)

Ashton : "And then we have problem is the Extreme Firepro Wrestling head office. Oh how the mighty have fallen, EFW! Things were all fine and dandy until YOU President Walters made your grand return. And what have we seen since then? In your INFINITE wisdom, you and your little yes-man RD have given title shots left and right to the biggest losers in this promotion! You're putting the integrity of these titles at stake by offering them to guys who by all means should be BEGGING to be let into J.P. Woody Handcock's stable of retards! Since when did any self-respecting wrestling promotion decide to start handing out title belts to a bunch of worthless hacks to make up for their lack of wrestling skill? Did one of the McMahons suddenly buy the EFW the last time I got shitfaced and passed out? I thought we were in Scottland, not Stamford! Your bias towards these useless wrestling school rejects just goes to show how intent you are with holding down and holding back the REAL wrestlers in this federation! But my biggest problem....by far my BIGGEST problem has to do with the EFW as a whole. Ya see..."

(Ash raises his free arm and points directly above him to a giant suspended banner bearing the EFW logo)

Ashton : "...what you ALL need to realize is that these three letters above me are a BLATANT LIE! That all of you wrestlers in the back who continue to abuse your bodies and minds for this promotion, you are living a BLATANT LIE! That all of you mindless, senseless, ignorant assholes in the crowd are supporting a BLATANT LIE! And that you, President Walters, and you, RD, are the biggest con artists and LIARS on the face of God's green earth. But if there's one thing you can be sure of, you can bet your asses that I'm not going to sit around and let this shit go on any longer! This ceremony is nothing but the celebration of a tradition of nonstop garbage and corruption! But you all had better enjoy this anniversery while it lasts, because with God as my witness, Extreme Firepro Wrestling..."

(Ash pulls a flyer bearing the EFW logo out of his pocket, holds it up in front of him with both hands for all to see, and then slowly rips it in half, revealing his dead serious face and letting the pieces slowly waft to the ground)

Ashton : "...this is only the beginning!"

(Ashton throws down the mic and is met with a thundering cacophony of boos. He begins to walk towards the backstage area but stops in front of a nearby cameraman and grabs the lens with one hand, pointing to it with the other and yelling 'I'm doing YOU ALL a favor!' before walking off into the back)