Sickosonparade.com : Apocolypse Wrestling Federation

COUNTDOWN TO ARMAGEDDON - DAY 1
EFW Arena - Glasgow, Scotland
03-11-2003

(The arena is pitch black, the sole source of light coming from the Video Wall. Numbers begin flashing across the screen in a countdown:

When the 1 fades, a mushroom cloud explodes on the screen simultaneously with the pyrotechnics near the entranceway. The fans erupt as the logo appears on screen:

EFW
COUNTDOWN
TO
ARMAGEDDON

The camera zooms in on Sam Michaels and "Odd" Abe at ringside. Abe is wearing a bright purple Pimp Hat with a green feather sticking out of it along with a polyester and plaid jacket. There is a bandage around his forehead and an eyepatch over his left eye)

SAM: "THE COUNTDOWN TO ARMAGEDDON HAS OFFICIALLY BEGUN! Hello EFW Fans! I'm Sam Michaels, along with..."

ABE: "...the HOST of the show, the 1967 Olympic Gold Medalist in Wrestling, "Odd" Abe!"

SAM: "Say, Abe, I notice you're sporting some bandages and an eye patch there. Did you slip in the shower again?"

ABE: "If you MUST know, you peon, these are a direct result of an attack on my personage by one Ashton Adler. After the last show we did, he came up to me backstage screaming some nonsense about me disrespeting him and he threw COFFEE in my face!"

SAM: "... that was nearly 2 months ago, Abe."

ABE: "... I heal slowly. In any event, I can't discuss it any further without my lawyer present, and Mr. Adler will be seeing his day in court, I assure you."

SAM: "Right. Fans, we have got one for the ages tonight! We will be seeing the NEW World Heavyweight Champion, 'The ICON' Rick Idol, going one on one in a Non-Title match with 'the Human Wrecking Ball' Jack Furlong. But it won't be any match... it's going to be an I QUIT MATCH!"

ABE: "How lucky are we? This one was supposed to go down at Armageddon, but thanks to the ICON winning the World Title at Massacre, we get to see this match for FREE! I'm predicting this will be match of the decade!"

SAM: "All the matches tonight will be held under special stipulations! The Perdition Wheel has been spun and there is no turning back for the wrestlers competing tonight. What a way to get into the spirit of Armageddon, eh Abe?"

ABE: "FINALLY we have a show that I can get into. No pussy rules, no boring 30 minute hug-fests... just one fight after another in all their brutal glory! I'm psyched, let's get this show rolling!"

SAM: "The card is so jam packed, and time is short, so we're about to get underway!"

(Some crappy circus music hits the speakers, prompting a confused reaction from the crowd. J.P. Woody Handcock soon steps through the curtain, a look of beeming pride on his face.)

LARRY WUNARRME: "Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome to the ring the manager of the Stable of Champions - J.P. WOODY HANDCOCK!"

(There's some laughter from the crowd, and a lot of boos, as Handcock steps into the ring and takes the microphone from Larry.)

HANDCOCK: "It's ME!!! Ladies and gentlemen, children of ALL ages, it is my great pleasure to announce this next match. I have worked long and hard to sign this match, having constant meetings with EFW management and the two HUGE, totally larger than life superstars involved. It was hard, but I wasn't going to accept failure as an option! I stand before you today to announce a battle to end all battles - A CLASH OF THE CHAMPIONS - A BATTLE FOR THE FUTURE!!! Forget Tyrant and Idol, this is the REAL DEAL!!! Introducing the first participant..."

("Bring Out the Gimp" hits the speakers to a loud chorus of boos. Dangerous Dan comes bursting through the curtain, shouting curses at the fans as he makes his way down the aisle.)

HANDCOCK: "He weighs in at over 500 lb!!! and hails from... uhm... someone forgot to finish filling out the sheet... err, uhm... YOUR WORST NIGHTMARES!!! yeah... - He is 'The Most Dangerous Man Alive'... DANGEROUS DAN!!"

(Dan hits the ring on fire... literally, some fan has set his tights on fire and he ran smack into the ring apron. A ring attendent begins taking drinks from fans at ringside and dumping them on him until the fire is out. Dan's music is cut off by the beginning of "Eye of the Tiger".)

HANDCOCK: "And his opponent!!! He towers at over 7 feet tall!!!! He weighs in at well over 600 lb.!!!! Hailing from Kansas City, Missourri, he is 'THE ONE MAN WORLD ORDER'... THE MARK!!!"

(The Mark struts confidently down the ramp to a much better reaction than Dan... though admittedly that's not saying much. He attempts to climb into the ring by stepping over the top rope, but ends up crotching himself and collapsing into the ring in pain. He slowly gets to his feet using the ropes as support and breaks into a Muscle Pose.)

HANDCOCK: "Ladies and gentelemen: J.P. Woody Handcock proudly presents to you... THE BATTLE FOR THE FUTURE!! 'The Most Dangerous Man Alive' versus 'The One Man World Order'! There can be only one! There MUST be a winner! There..."

Dangerous Dan vs The Mark

SAM: "Stu Lumpkin has mercifully forced Handcock out of the ring and it looks like we can get underway."

ABE: "I can't believe this is happening. I just get done saying how great this show is going to be, and they throw THIS at me? And did he just say there MUST be a winner? WE'LL BE HERE ALL NIGHT!"

SAM: "Settle down, Abe. I guess this one is going to be No Time Limit, No DQ, and No Countout, folks. Stu Lumpkin has called for the bell and we're underway. Dan immediately goes to work on the Mark with punch after punch, keeping the Mark off balance. The Mark withstands the offense and grabs Dan by the hair... SLAM! He rammed Dan's head into the turnbuckle! Dan reverses on the Mark... SLAM! Dan rams the Mark's head into the buckle!"

ABE: "What are you doing?"

SAM: "Calling the match..."

ABE: "But... you're making it sound like it's exciting or something..."

SAM: "Somebody has to. The Mark with a Snapmare takes Dan to the mat. Dan fights his way back up with a Stomach Punch Rush, knocking the wind out of the Mark..."

ABE: "Actually, I don't think the Mark's even feeling those..."

SAM: "Shut up, Abe. The Mark misses with a Clothesline... Dan hits an Uppercut! The Mark answers with an Uppercut of his own! THEY'RE BRAWLING BACK AND FORTH!"

ABE: "Like Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck!"

SAM: "SHUT UP! Just... just let me TRY, okay, Abe?"

ABE: "Whatever."

SAM: "The Mark whips Dan to the ropes... BIG Back Body Drop! The Mark has one of Dan's legs now... Thigh Stomp! The Mark's going for a Suplex... NO! Dan blocks it! The Mark tries to lift him again... Dan blocks him again... REVERSAL and Dangerous Dan hits a Suplex of his own!"

ABE: "I think the Mark just tripped..."

SAM: "N..no... heh heh, it was REVERSAL, Abe... don't you AGREE?!"

ABE: "ACK! S..sure! Great reversal by Dan, there!"

SAM: "Dan whips the Mark to the ropes... Running Toe Kick folds the Mark over! Dan with a Kidney Punch on the Mark... Mark tries for another Suplex but once again Dan blocks it. Dan doing a good job of shutting the Mark down in the early going."

ABE: "Uh, yeah..."

SAM: "SPINNING NECKBREAKER by the Mark! He caught Dan completely off-guard with that one! DAN WITH A SMALL PACKAGE!! Stu drops to make the count.. 1... KICK OUT! The Mark showing he's not done yet! Dan moves in close... GROIN UPPERCUT by the Mark!"

*PING*

SAM: "What the hell...? Did you just ring a bell?"

ABE: "Yeah, it's my new 'gimmick'. Everytime someone takes a shot in the family jewels, I hit this little bell with tiny mallet for added effect. Great, eh?"

SAM: "I'm going to go with 'no' on this one. The Mark has him by the ankle... THE ANKLE MARK!! He's applied the dreaded Ankle Mark submission! Dan is screaming in agony, but refuses to give!"

ABE: "I think the Mark actually twisted Dan's foot all the way around with that one..."

SAM: "Dan tries his best to get to his feet... ANOTHER Low Blow by the Mark!"

ABE: *Hits the Bell*

SAM: "I can't believe you're serious about this. Dan is holding his privates... the Mark locks on a Sleeper Hold! Dan elbows out of it, but the Mark stays on him with an Irish Whip... Back Body Drop! The Mark waits for Dan to get to his feet... Front Dropkick knocks Dan back to the mat! Dan with another Small Package... 1... Mark grabs the bottom rope! Dan catches him with an Uppercut as they get back to their feet, but Mark takes it and rams his head into the turnbuckle. The Mark Bodyslams Dan down in the corner... he's up on the second turnbuckle! What's he going to do?"

THE MARK: "OOOOHHHHH YEAH!"

SAM: "GIANT SPLASH! The Mark let gravity do the work for him, falling with all of his weight down on Dan! Stu drops to make the count... 1... 2... KICK OUT! Dan refuses to stay down!"

ABE: "'Giant' Splash?"

SAM: "Dan throws another Kidney Punch, but to no avail as the Mark whips him in to the ropes... another Back Body Drop! The Mark picks him up... GERMAN SUPLEX for the pin! Stu drops to make the count... Dan's hand is under the bottom rope! Clever thinking by Dan there."

ABE: "Actually, I think his hand just sort of fell there. His neck looks like it's broken..."

SAM: "The Mark is going for the Mark Snap! Dan blocks it and nails him with a Head-butt Rush! Dan's got so much metal in his head that HAS to hurt!"

ABE: "...okay, I'll give you that."

SAM: "Dan goes back to work on the Mark's kidneys... that's creepy how his neck just sort of hangs limp... PERMANENT MARKER!! Out of nowhere the Mark hit his version of the Stunner!"

ABE: "Didn't help Dan's neck situation either... eeeyeww... it's hanging backwards now..."

SAM: "The Mark goes for the cover and Stu drops to count... once again Dan puts a hand under the bottom rope to stop the pin!"

ABE: "I know it's just the Mark, but surely by NOW this kid would have figured out to pull the guy away from the ropes before trying to pin!"

SAM: "It's not working, is it?"

ABE: "Just now figuring that out?"

SAM: "Fine... still, haven't you ever wondered just who would win between these two?"

ABE: "Not really."

SAM: "..."

ABE: "Hey, put one or the other against one of the Sickos and I'm your guy, but against EACH OTHER? Your on your own."

SAM: "SIGH... back to the match, Dan is trying to muster some Punches, but the Mark is on fire... Body Slam to the mat and the Mark is going up top! He leaps off..."

THE MARK: "SUCK IT!!"

SAM: "MAD SPLASH across the chest of Dan! He calls it 'The Markdown'! Stu drops to make the count! 1.. 2... DAN KICKED OUT!! Wait, I think the Mark just rolled off of him... is he hurt? There's a metal pin sticking out of Dan's chest! The Mark must have hit it on impact! Dan somehow gets to his feet... or foot, the other one isn't quite cooperating with him... he's got the Mark from behind... MULE KICK by the Mark!"

ABE: *Hits the Bell*

SAM: "Are you going to do that EVERY time? The Mark picks him up... SMALL PACKAGE surprises the Mark! 1... 2... KICK OUT! Dan hits an Uppercut on the Mark... and there's a Running Shoulderblock to drop the Mark. Dan is doing a victory dance now... this can't be good..."

ABE: "'Frightening' is what I was thinking..."

DAN: "WHO'S THE MAN?!"

SAM: "Dan adjusts his head back into place... words I never thought I'd ever have to say... and slams the Mark's head into the buckle. He throws another Kidney Punch... the Mark scoops him up... THE MARK SNAP!!"

ABE: "Wait... I've heard of this but I've never seen it before... isn't that supposed to be his finisher?"

SAM: "The Mark just hit his finishing maneuver on Dangerous Dan, but the rigors of this match have taken their toll an he can't capitalize! Both men are down but are struggling to get to their feet. Dan throws a Straight Punch... and a Body Blow... the Mark has him up for a Slam... he can't keep him up... HE DUMPS HIM OVER THE TOP TO THE FLOOR!!!"

CROWD: "HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!"

ABE: "God, did you hear that 'Crunch'? If they weren't already, I'd say Dan's bones would have been broken there."

SAM: "Dan is in bad shape, but somehow getting to his feet... err, foot. The Mark has a weird look in his eye... he's running to the ropes! SUICIDE DIVE through the ropes onto Dan!! The crowd are on their feet!!"

ABE: "He's like a lemming!"

SAM: "Both men brawling on the floor now. The Mark gets the better of Dan and Body Slams him on the concrete! He lifts Dan up... and there's a Clothesline! Now a hard whip into the apron... the Mark has a chair! Dan hightails it into the ring... and there's another victory dance!"

DAN: "YOU CAN'T HANDLE THIS!"

SAM: "The Mark drops the chair in frustration and slides back into the ring... Dan is still dancing... the Mark throws a Toe Kick to the ribs! Dan collapses into a heap! The Mark has him hooked for something... Japanese Leg Roll Clutch!"

ABE: "Where in the blue hell did he learn that?!"

SAM: "Stu drops to make the count... 1... 2... the Mark couldn't keep it applied! Tough break there. Dan comes back and rams the Mark's head into the turnbuckle... he's back up... RUNNING BACK ELBOW into the corner! The Mark falls forward in a heap! Dan does another victory dance... he's wasting time here."

ABE: "Yeah... he's been wasting OUR time for about 10 minutes now."

SAM: "Dan whips the Mark into the oppossite turnbuckle... he's going for it again... Running Back Elbow... THE MARK MOVES OUT OF THE WAY!! Dan hit the turnbuckles at full speed and bounces off hard! The Mark steadies himself on the ropes and looks around to the crowd... the fans are supporting him! He climbs to the top rope... THE MARKDOWN across the back of Dan! He hooks him for a Suplex... Dan blocks it... he tries to lift him again... HE GOT HIM UP! Vertical Suplex by the Mark brings Dan crashing down on his already injured back!"

ABE: "His back has been injured since 1985! What are you talking about?"

SAM: "PERMANENT MARKER connects and Dan's head looks like a broken Jack in the Box! Mark hooks a leg for the cover! 1... 2... DAN GOT THE SHOULDER UP!"

ABE: "OH COME ON! Does the Mark suck THAT much??"

SAM: "The Mark looks frustrated, but he isn't giving up... whip to the ropes... X MARKS THE SPOT! X MARKS THE SPOT!! What a body tackle! I think he may have broken a couple of Dan's ribs with that one!"

ABE: "That's not saying much."

SAM: "The Mark kicks the shoulder... he's signalling all of his little Marks in the crowd! He hits the ropes... THE MARKS' LEG DROP!! He's motioning for Dan to get to his feet... Dan is a broken mess after X Marks the Spot! The Mark lifts him up himself... PERMANENT MARKER! Dan's neck is bouncing like a slinky! The Mark goes for the cover... 1... 2... 3!!! The Mark has done it, the Mark has won!"

ABE: "Well, that answers that question... can we get to the next match now?"

RESULT:
17:30 - The Mark d. Dangerous Dan via Pinfall (Japanese Leg Roll Clutch)

Experience
The Mark	- +5 (Win)
Dangerous Dan	- -50 exp. for dancing (I'm scarred for life)

SAM: "The EMTs are carrying Dan out on a stretcher... they had to hook him up to an oxygen machine... let's give our best wishes to Dan."

ABE: "No."

SAM: "Fair enough. Meanwhile, the Mark is still celebrating in the ring, and he looks like he's ready for that trip to Disneyland."

ABE: "Does Scotland even HAVE a Disneyland?"

("Come With Me" suddenly comes out of the speakers, interrupting the Mark's music. Genesis steps through the curtain and points down the ramp at the Mark. He is quickly passed up by Roy Wallace and Goliath, who are rushing toward the ring.)

SAM: "Now what is this?"

ABE: "Good, get him out of there, PLEASE!"

SAM: "The HWO has stormed the ring and our mauling the Mark! They'll be facing him at Armageddon in a handicap match, there's no need for this!"

ABE: "There's a need to get him off TV so we can go on with the show, though. More power to 'em."

SAM: "Goliath is holding the Mark up as Wallace measures him... and there's the Sword of Righteousness! Goliath keeps him from falling down... he scoops him up... THE MOUNTAIN FALLS! He flattened the Mark like a pancake with that Powerslam of his!"

ABE: "God, just chuck him already! Bo is in a death match later on!"

(Genesis has a microphone and begins to speak as Wallace and Goliath hurl the Mark over the top rope by his trunks.)

GENESIS: "We have come out here tonight to deliver a message. Not just to this pitiful fool, but to the EFW as well! We have issued challenge after challenge, and yet we are continually ignored. Well tonight we are out here to DEMAND a tag team match! Any two men in the back who can overcome their FEAR long enough to step in the ring with the most dominant force in wrestling... do so NOW! We aren't going anywhere until you do!"

ABE: "Oh great... now I have to wait even LONGER..."

SAM: "The HWO means business tonight... here comes Vice President Red Dog... he's got referee Stu Lumpkin with him and he's dressed to wrestle!!"

ABE: "What in the hell??"

RED DOG: "I see that look in your eyes, but you can forget it right now. I'm not the one accepting your challenge. I just came prepared tonight in case Bane decided he was ready to put his money where his mouth is. But it didn't take long for two men to accept your challenge, and I'm sanctioning the match to happen right now!"

SAM: "We've got a bonus match!"

ABE: "Hellfire..."

RED DOG: "However, if it's taking place on this show, then it's going to have a stipulation. And that stipulation is going to be... NO DISQUALIFICATION!"

SAM: "The HWO likes that announcement."

RED DOG: "I've kept you waiting long enough. Allow me to introduce you to your opponents..."

("Hands of Doom" hits the speakers as Red Dog steps out of the way. After a few moments, Tyrant steps through the curtain, staring directly at the ring. Wallace and Goliath seem unfazed, until Tyrant stops and looks toward the curtain... and Vermin walks out behind him. Vermin and Tyrant look at each other and nod grimly, then walk toward the ring.)

ABE: "I take it back! WOO HOO! I've been wanting to see this team for AGES!"

SAM: "Parents, send your kids to the other room, because I don't think this is going to be pretty. Genesis gives some last minute instructions to his men, who COULDN'T have expected this response to their challenge."

The Hands of Doom vs Roy Wallace/Golaith

SAM: "Tyrant climbs through the ropes and immediately charges for Wallace as the bell sounds! Wallace is no small man, but Tyrant makes him look infantile in there. They brawl back and forth... Tyrant scoops him up and plants him in the mat with a High Angle Body Slam. There's a Stomp for good measure... Wallace grabs Tyrant by the hair and rams his face into the buckle... NO EFFECT! Tyrant hits him with another High Angle Body Slam and a Stomp. Wallace scrambles for his corner and makes the tag to the behemoth of the HWO."

ABE: "Does Tyrant look a little... 'off' to you?"

SAM: "Looks just as dominating as ever to me. Goliath wraps on a big Headlock to Tyrant and repeatedly pounds him in the head with punches. Tyrant goes down and Goliath folds him over for a quick cover... not even a 1 count. Tyrant pounds his back with a Hammer Blow, but Goliath shrugs it off and hits a Head-butt Rush... now he's putting the boots to Tyrant. He wraps on the Headlock again... it's scary how such a simple move can turn deadly when done by this monster... wait, what... TYRANT TURNS IT INTO A BACK SUPLEX!!"

ABE: "AYE CARAMBA! Is he even stronger than Vermin?!"

SAM: "Tyrant gets to his feet... and I think he's 'giggling'. You may be right about him being a bit 'off', Abe. The two big men brawl back and forth... there's an Elbow to the head by Goliath and Tyrant decides to make a tag."

ABE: "HERE WE GO!"

SAM: "For the first time that I can recall, we've got the two biggest men in EFW history getting ready to lock up. Vermin has a smile on his face, but Goliath is all business, waving him on. Goliath strikes first with a Hammer Punch... Vermin doesn't budge! Vermin throws a Hook Punch... Goliath doesn't budge! The two lock up... it's the immovable object vs. the irresistable force... Vermin whips him to the ropes... SPINE DROP! The ring shook from the impact of Goliath's 500 lb.! Vermin helps him to his feet and throws a vicious Knife-edge Chop. And Goliath quickly makes the tag."

ABE: "I don't think Wallace was ready for that..."

SAM: "Vermin doesn't care, as he grabs Wallace and beals him into the ring! The fans are just loving this. Wallace rams Vermin's head into the buckle... Vermin just stares at him! Hammer Blow to the back sends Wallace face first to the mat. He yanks him up by the shirt with one hand and rears back with the other... BACKBRAIN LARIAT nearly takes Wallace's head off! Genesis can't believe how his men are getting manhandled in there! Vermin High Angle Bodyslams Wallace over the top rope to the outside!"

CROWD: "OOHHH!"

SAM: "Tyrant drops down to go after Wallace, but Stu jumps out and stands in his way... Goliath is back in the ring now and going after Vermin... HAMMER BLOW by Vermin rocks the big man... and now Vermin's locking on a Camel Clutch! Wallace is back in and he's got a chair! SMASHES it across the skull of Vermin to break the hold! Vermin's just looks at him and cocks an eyebrow... ANOTHER hard shot with the chair... VERMIN IS UNFAZED! There's another... three skull cracking chairshots and Vermin doesn't register any of them... he slaps the chair away from Wallace and hoists him up... GORILLA PRESS SLAM!! Vermin goes for the cover... Goliath is in to break it up and throws another stomp for good measure."

ABE: "The scary thing is that Vermin and Tyrant haven't even used any teamwork yet."

SAM: "Vermin wraps on a Two Handed Choke, pressing all of his weight down on Wallace's throat... Goliath makes the save once again. The HWO with a Double Irish Whip... Wallace runs in and takes Vermin down with a Kneelift. Vermin is quick to regain control... he's moving him into position!"

ABE: "It's 187 time already?!"

SAM: "Genesis is up on the apron for the distraction, causing Vermin to wag his tongue at him... BACK BODY DROP by Wallace sends Vermin over the top rope to the floor! That one moment's hesitation cost Vermin big time! Wallace and Goliath drop to the floor for some double teaming... Vermin shoves them both back... he's got Wallace againl.. 187 POWERBOMB on the concrete floor! Now he's got Goliath... is he going to do it?! NO, Goliath's weight was too much, bringing Vermin over and crashing down on him with all of his weight on the floor!"

ABE: "Even Vermin had to feel that kind of pain!"

SAM: "Tyrant has made his way over and is attacking Wallace. Goliath wraps his hands around his throat and lifts him up in the air for a Choke Hang! Vermin slides back into the ring and takes a breather as Goliath drops Tyrant, giving the recovering Wallace an opportunity to hit a Stomach Punch Rush on the former EFW Champion. Now Goliath Bodyslams Tyrant onto the concrete floor... he's back in the ring to challenge Vermin! Wallace picks Tyrant up... Tyrant grabs him by the shirt and pants and HURLS him into the security guard rail! Goliath hits a Head-butt Rush on Vermin, not seeing Tyrant stalking him from behind. Tyrant's eye twitches a little and there's an unhealthy grin as he grabs Goliath from behind... SIDE BACKBREAKER!!"

ABE: "That might have done more damage to Tyrant's knee than to Goliath's back!"

SAM: "Goliath rolls under the ropes and slowly makes his way back to the HWO corner as the ref talks Tyrant back to his corner. There is something definitely going on with Tyrant, he doesn't even seem to register Stu's words. Meanwhile, Vermin nails a Short Arm Lariat on Wallace... he's got the chair from earlier! WHAM, he connects on Wallace's skull! He drops the chair on the mat and lifts Wallace up in another Gorilla Press... SLAMS him chest first onto the chair! He grabs his arm off the mat... yanks him to his feet and LARIATS him back down hard! Wallace tries to get back to his feet, but Vermin is just assaulting him with Vader Punches. Goliath tags himself in and locks up with Vermin... Vermin just SHOVES him to the mat and grabs him by the legs... GROIN STOMP!"

ABE: *Hits the bell*

SAM: "That's enough of that. Vermin whips him to the ropes... Western Lariat coming up... Goliath ducks it... Vermin spins around and eats a Lariat from Goliath! Goliath grabs Vermin from behind... Head-butt! And there's a Bodyslam! He hauls Vermin to the corner... Tyrant makes the blind tag! Goliath goes to wrap a Bear Hug on Vermin... Tyrant Axe Handle's him to double him over... Vermin moves him into position! The crowd is on their feet... Vermin can't budge him though! Wait, Tyrant gives the assist... STUFF 187 POWERBOMB ON GOLIATH!!"

CROWD: "OHHHHHH!!!"

ABE: "It's a good thing we use reinforced rings!"

SAM: "What a move! Vermin steps back out and Tyrant looks like he's going to try the Judgement Bomb! He tries to lift him... Goliath is still too big... he reverses, taking Tyrant over his back and bringing his weight crashing down on top of him for the pin... 1... KICK OUT! Tyrant grabs Goliath from behind and holds his arms... he motions for Vermin to get in the ring... Vermin assaults the defenseless Goliath with vicious Vader Punches! Vermin grabs him for a Back Suplex... Tyrant grabs him by the throat! BACK SUPLEX AND CHOKESLAM DOUBLETEAM on the giant!!"

ABE: "I am LOVING this! You wouldn't know that these two are going to be facing each other for the World Title in mere days!"

SAM: "Goliath with a Head-butt on Tyrant, and he locks on a Chinlock to by himself some air time. Tyrant escapes... Goliath hits a Bodyslam. Here comes an Irish Whip... Tyrant reverses and sends him charging intot he corner... he sets Goliath backwards on the turnbuckle! What's he going to do? SUPER GERMAN SUPLEX sends Goliath crashing to the center of the ring onto the back of his neck!"

CROWD: "EFW! EFW! EFW!"

ABE: "Genesis better start praying..."

SAM: "That could have killed Goliath, but Tyrant is just staring up at the ceiling laughing like he doesn't even know he's there! He snaps back to reality and sees Goliath slowly getting to his feet... he hits the ropes... FLYING CLOTHESLINE takes the giant off his feet! Genesis is trying to bring Wallace around on the outside, but he's out like a light. Tyrant moves Goliath into position... can he even do it? He lifts him up... he's getting him up... can he take him all the way? HE DOES! JUDGEMENT BOMB on the 500 lb. giant!!!"

CROWD: "EFW! EFW! EFW!"

ABE: "That was a Kodak moment if ever there was one!"

SAM: "Stu drops to make the count... 1... 2... 3!! Tyrant holds Goliath in position, just staring into space... Vermin is in the ring now talking him out of it."

ABE: "I have a new favorite tag team! Let's see them take on Bo and Weehawk!"

SAM: "Good God I don't even want to imagine... Goliath has rolled out of the ring and Genesis is guiding his men to the back, beaten but not dead amazingly enough. The HWO will fight another day, but you have to wonder if they'll EVER want to take on this monstrous duo ever again. Was the teamwork we just witnessed a precursor to what Rick Idol and Jack Furlong have in store for them at Armageddon?"

RESULT:
14:00 - Hands of Doom d. Roy Wallace / Goliath via Pinfall (Judgement Bomb)

Experience
Vermin	- +3 (Win)
Tyrant	- +3 (Win)
Roy Wallace	- +2 exp.
Goliath	- +2 exp.

(As the broadcast resumes from a commercial break (that oddly enough advertised suntan lotion), "Smooth Operator" is playing on the loudspeakers while Zack Sirus and Reid Kalahan are making their way to the ring. They are both holding up signs: Sirus' reads, "Superiority Complex - Because we're better then you!"; Kalahan's reads, "EFW's REAL Tag Team Champions!".)

LARRY: "Ladies and gentlemen, this next contest is scheduled for one fall and is a TORNADO MATCH! Currently in the ring: at a combined weight of 463 lb. - 'The Professional' Reid Kalahan and 'The Stud' Zack Sirus... they are SUPERIORITY COMPLEX!!"

(Kalahan stands on the second turnbuckle and makes a "I'm the next champion" gesture as Sirus stands next to the security railing to hand out his sunglasses to one of the pretty ladies in the front row. "Uzbekistanian National Anthem" hits the speakers, drawing more boos from the crowd. Anarchy storms through the curtain, pointing at the ring and shouting curses behind him. After him come Fidel Ennssein and Okieze Kimosabe, both yelling loudly in their respective native tongues.)

LARRY: "And their opponents: being accompanied down the aisle by their translator and Anarchy... they weigh in at a combined 655 lb. and represent World Disorder - OKIEZE KIMOSABE and FIDEL ENNSSEIN!!"

(Sirus and Kalahan quickly jump out of the ring as Fidel and Okieze storm the ring, both running around like maniacs. Fidel stands in the middle of the ring and laughs loud as Okieze slaps his belly and runs around him in circles, making unintelligible sounds. Anarchy is screaming at the translator, who is nervously trying to do his job and get instructions to Fidel and Okieze.)

Superiority Complex vs Okieze Kimosabe and Fidel Ennssein

SAM: "The Society are going to have their hands full with these two monsters."

ABE: "I don't think these two can even understand each other... Sirus and Kalahan probably already have six different strategies in place."

SAM: "Time will tell. Stu is calling for the bell and we're underway. Kalahan and Sirus are in the ring... who gave Sirus a microphone?"

SIRUS: "Okay, okay, fellas, hold on. Before your complete and utter humiliation begins, you need to step out for a moment and let me give the ladies what they paid to see. Okay, ready? HIT MY MUSIC!"

SAM: "Fidel and Okieze seem a little confused about all of this and aren't budging. Wait, what...? Anarchy is holding Kalahan's foot from the outside, allowing Fidel and Okieze to hit a Double Clothesline on Sirus. Fidel backs up a step... U-BOMB across the back of Sirus! Kalahan finally kicks Anarchy away and tries to get some offense in on Okieze... he's got him locked for a Vertical Suplex... he can't budge him... Okieze reverses into a Suplex of his own! Meanwhile Fidel has hoisted Sirus in the air with a Choke Hang."

ABE: "This is completely unfair! They took a cheapshot on Sirus... Stu needs to disqualify them... and have Anarchy shot..."

SAM: "A DQ on THIS show? You're just upset because you didn't get to see Sirus' pose."

ABE: "Yeah... WAIT A MINUTE!"

SAM: "Kalahan throws a kick at Okieze, but it gets caught and turned into a leg trip. Fidel and Okieze have Sirus to themselves again... ANOTHER Double Clothesline and Sirus collapses to the mat! Fidel locks on a Shoulder Claw on Kalahan while Okieze hits a Jumping Fist Drop on Sirus."

ABE: "Sirus needs to pull something together quick here. As talented as he is, even he can't withstand this kind of onslaught for long."

SAM: "Okieze has Sirus by the legs now... GROIN HEAD-BUTT! Anarchy is loving this. Fidel has Kalhan up in the Choke Hang while Okieze scoops up Sirus... what's he got planned... STANDING POWERSLAM pancakes Sirus against the mat!!"

CROWD: "OHHHH!"

ABE: "Somebody get a spatula!"

SAM: "Okieze with a Fist Drop on Sirus... now he's BITING him! Come on, Stu, bring some order to this! Fidel Slams Kalahan to the mat... Kalahan comes back with a Judo Takedown... Sirus rakes the eyes of Okieze to by himself a breather... Kalahan connects with a Jumping Kick to Fidel's skull, dropping the big man!"

ABE: "They've got to keep the comeback going here... oh now what's this?"

ANARCHY: "...was standing there and heard you two yanks blabberin' on about somethin'. I've got a question... WHO THE FUCK GIVES A SHIT ABOUT WHAT YOU THINK?!"

ABE: "Now wait just a..."

ANARCHY: "'Ooh, wait a minute'... PISS OFF! Look, I'll bring some fuckin' genius commentatin' to this show... there, the fat fuck is hitting a Jumping Tomahawk Chop on the queer in the leapord trunks... WHAT THE FUCK?!"

SAM: "THROWING GERMAN SUPLEX by Kalahan on Fidel!!"

CROWD: "OOOHHHH!!"

ABE: "The bigger they are..."

ANARCHY: "SHUT THE FUCK UP! He slipped, that's all! There's no FUCKIN' way that retarded little dipshit could have suplexed Fidel! I'm goin' to get that ref straight..."

ABE: "What an asshole!"

SAM: "It looks like we'll be without the color commentating of Anarchy afterall. Okieze takes down Kalahan with a Side Headlock... Kalahan comes back and Body Slams the big man! Anarchy is screaming at the translator, who is saying something to Fidel to get him going again. He's a bit groggy, but Fidel is back in the game, hitting Sirus with Texas Jabs. Kalahan throws another kick at Okieze... it's caught again... ENZUI-GIRI levels Okieze! Kalahan is working double time to get his team in this. Fidel locks on the dreaded Stomach Claw on Sirus... Okieze throws a Chop at Kalahan... Kalahan kicks his leg out from under him and gives a Stomp to the leg."

ABE: "That's the sign of strategy right there. Sirus has already got this Kalahan thinking 10 steps ahead, softening up that leg for Sirus' Pain Everlasting hold."

SAM: "Kalahan has him set up for a Piledriver... he can't lift Okieze... Okieze Back Body Drops him to block. Meanwhile, Fidel drags Sirus up to his feet... he's got him by the throat... lifts him up... UZBEK UNDERTOW!!! What impact!"

CROWD: "OOOHHHHHHH!!!"

ABE: "Jesus Christ, Sirus isn't moving!"

SAM: "Stu is pushing Fidel away and checking Sirus... that's going to be it, he's stopping the match! World Disorder is going to get the victory!"

ABE: "I can't believe what I've seen here..."

SAM: "Anarchy is in the ring now, holding back Stu Lumpkin as Fidel bounces off the ropes... U-BOMB across the comatose Sirus! Come on, the match is over! Kalahan fights free of Okieze and moves to protect his partner... Kalahan is having to fight off both men here to keep them from annhhilating Sirus altogether! Anarchy has a kendo stick... WALLOPS Kalahan across the head with it! Somebody has to... IT'S DAVID MERCURY!!"

ABE: "What's HE doing out here?!"

SAM: "He's not going to stand by and watch this kind of travesty go down! Anarchy tries to cut him off... ROLLING SOLE-BUTT catches him in the jaw and sends him flying out of the ring! Okieze charges at Mercury... Mercury leap frogs him and spins... SHOCKWAVE connects, sending Okieze tumbling through the ropes outside! Kalahan has gotten a hold of Fidel... THROWING GERMAN SUPLEX sends Fidel over the top rope to the outside!!" CROWD: "HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!"

SAM: "Anarchy is getting his team the hell out of Dodge, but they're still going to walk away with the win here. Mercury is pointing at them and yelling, and Kalahan is now seeing Mercury for the first time. Wait, what's he... he's got that kendo stick... HE CLOCKS MERCURY!!"

ABE: "YES!"

SAM: "Mercury just came out and HELPED him and his partner, and this is how Kalahan thanks him?!"

ABE: "Hey, Kalahan never called for any help. He sees his target for Armageddon within reach, he's taking the chance to soften him up. It's just common sense!"

SAM: "It's SICK is what it is! And now he's hooking him up... THE GOLDWINNER to add insult to injury!"

CROWD: "BOOOOO!!!"

ABE: "Sirus has completely turned this guy around. I like him!"

SAM: "You would. Kalahan exits the ring, helping the EMTs get Sirus out of the ring. Mercury is starting to stir, and he doesn't look happy. This isn't over, not by a longshot!"

RESULT:
3:13 - World Disorder d. Superiority Complex via K.O. (Uzbek Undertow)

Experience
Fidel Ennssein	- +3 (Win)
Okieze Kimosabe	- +3 (Win)
Zack Sirus	- +1 exp.
Reid Kalahan	- +1 exp.
	- +1 exp (MVP Bonus)

(When the broadcast resumes from a cola commercial, the Mad Hatter and Rio are in the ring, pacing around each other. Suddenly, a spotlight shines down at the entranceway where Vice President Red Dog stands next to the Perdition Wheel.)

RED DOG: "Okay fellas, wait just a moment. Time to spin the wheel and see what kind of match you'll be having!"

(He gives the wheel a good turn and it spins fast. All eyes watch as it slows down until finally it comes to a stop.)

RED DOG: "And we have... No Time Limit... and... Electrified Cage! Okay, Mike, drop the cage! Have fun, kids!"

(The Mad Hatter looks up as the cage lowers and giggles delightedly. Rio's eyes, on the other hand, are wide in disbelief. Outside the ring the Duchess is singing some sort of rhyme that you can barely make out, except for the words 'bunnies' and 'chopped'.)

SAM: "This has to be an unexpected turn of events for the Hatter and Rio!"

ABE: "No kidding! Wait a minute, isn't Rio's key weapon that Grande Splash?! There's no way he can do it with that electricity coursing through the cage!"

EXPLODING ELECTRIFIED CAGE MATCH
Rio vs The Mad Hatter

SAM: "The Hatter doesn't seem to mind... but Rio's gameplan has definitely been thrown off. The cage is finished lowering and the bell has run. This is the first time we've seen Referee Jenna McGinty tonight, and boy does she look like someone who drew the short straw! Hatter wastes no time getting started, hitting an Overhead Chop across the chest of Rio. Rio throws him toward the cage... Hatter slams on the brakes! Hipthrow by Hatter, and a Drop Toehold... he's trying to keep Rio off his feet, which can be quite deadly."

ABE: "Sound strategy... surprising coming from a loon."

SAM: "Hatter whips Rio in... Rio puts on the brakes! Another Drop Toehold by the Hatter... Overhead Chop to the chest... Rio throws him again... Hatter just BARELY stopped himself before hitting the cage that time! Deep Armdrag by Rio on the Hatter... the Hatter hits another Drop Toehold... Irish Whip... Rio stops himself! Rio misses a Nyman Kick... Hatter with the Overhand Chop... and a NICE European Uppercut to take Rio down. He kicks the thigh of Rio on the mat and picks him up... Rio throws him in... the Hatter stops himself and spins around, catching Rio with 'the Unbirthday Gift' neckbreaker!"

ABE: "They're fighting for their well being in there, you better believe they're going to do whatever they can to keep from hitting that electricity!"

SAM: "The Hatter hits another European Uppercut... Rio goes for a Side Kick... Hatter catches it and Dragon Screws him to the mat. He whips Rio toward the cage... Rio catches himself and in the same motion turns around and throws an Axe Kick... the Hatter BARELY dodges and comes back with a series of Knife-edge Chops! The Hatter locks on a Stump Puller, stretching the neck and leg of Rio."

ABE: "I've got to hand it to the Duchess... these Wonderland kids may be whack jobs, but in the ring they're like a machine."

SAM: "Rio whips the Hatter toward the cage... the Hatter stops himself and wipes a bead of sweat off his brow... ELBOW STAMP by Rio drops him when he turns back around! Standing Moonsault by Rio, but Hatter shoves him off before a pin count can be made. Rio has him measured... Axe Kick connects, dropping the Hatter face-first... La Magistral Cradle... the Hatter quickly escapes! Another Axe Kick by Rio... he's pointing toward the cage! Here it comes... the Hatter reverses!"

*BOOM!!*

CROWD: "EFW! EFW!"

SAM: "RIO HIT THE CAGE! His face is a scarred and bloody mess! The Duchess is dancing outside the cage in joy as the Hatter delivers a series of Kneelifts to the back of Rio. The Hatter hooks the arms... Double Arm Suplex on Rio! The Hatter goes for a German Suplex... he floats over for a Bridge Pin! Jenna drops to count... 1... 2... 3! NO!!"

ABE: "Oh come on, that had to be 3!"

SAM: "Jenna says Rio kicked out! The Hatter can't believe it... Side Russian Legsweep keeps Rio on the defense. Hatter lifts him up... THROWS HIM INTO THE CAGE again!!"

DUCHESS: "HEE HEE HEE! Do it AGAIN! DO IT AGAIN!"

ABE: "I NEVER want to get on her bad side... any side of her, actually..."

SAM: "Rio cannot take another trip into that cage if he wants to come out of this in one piece. The Hatter hits a Jumping Elbow Drop on the downed Rio. RIO WITH A STANDING VICTORY ROLL!! The Hatter is quickly out of it, but Rio is still in this! Rio slaps the mat in frustration... Irish Whip coming up... the Hatter turns it around... UNBIRTHDAY GIFT takes down Rio! The Hatter hits a Standing Moonsault for the cover... 1... 2... KICKOUT!!"

ABE: "HOW?!"

SAM: "Rio showing an amazing display of guts and willpower here! Oh no, not again... the Hatter whips him into the cage again!! That's it, that's gotta be the end for Rio. The Hatter lifts him up... KANGAROO KICK by Rio! Axe Kick! Another Axe Kick! La Magistral Cradle! 1... KICK OUT by the Hatter! The Hatter with a Blizzard Suplex out of nowhere... 1... 2... RIO KICKS OUT! The Hatter can't believe it and neither can anyone else in the arena! The Hatter with a Side Russian Legsweep... he waits for Rio to get to his feet... Front Dropkick levels Rio! European Uppercut by the Hatter... and does a Backflip to show off... now that's not going to win him any matches..."

ABE: "Still impressive."

SAM: "The Hatter jumps onto Rio's shoulders... VICTORY ROLL! 1... 2... KICK OUT!! Rio continues to fight despite the damage he's sustained from the cage! The Hatter is getting frustrated now... HE WHIPS HIM INTO THE CAGE!! Good God Almighty, when is enough enough? Not again... AGAIN he whips him into the cage! The Hatter Moonsaults onto him for the cover... 1... this is academic... 2... KICK OUT!! The Hatter is in shock! Rio jumps to his feet!"

ABE: "This kid must be too DUMB to stay down!"

SAM: "It's called the will to win, Abe! Rio hits a Dragon Screw to take down the stunned Hatter. There's a pair of Side Kicks to the midsection! Rio's got a Boston Crab applied... the Hatter reverses out of it. Rio throws another kick... the Hatter catches it and shakes his finger... ENZUI-GIRI nearly takes the Hatter's head off! The Hatter desperately tries to cut off Rio's comeback with a Jumping Sole-butt Rush. He grabs Rio from behind... Kangaroo Kick by Rio! Jacknife Hold for the pin! 1... KICK OUT! The Hatter is still too fresh. Deep Arm Drag by Rio and he waits for Hatter to get up... AXE KICK! The Hatter took it! WHIPS HIM INTO THE CAGE AGAIN!! The Hatter pats his butt in mockery of Rio... German Suplex coming up... he rolls through and Bridges for the Pin... 1... 2... 3!!"

ABE: "Finally!"

SAM: "What a valiant effort by Rio, but the Mad Hatter's performance here was just cutthroat. Will Rio be able to come back from this to emerge victorious at Armageddon?"

RESULT:
10:19 - The Mad Hatter d. Rio via Pinfall (Maya German Suplex)

Experience
Mad Hatter	- +5 (Win)
Rio	- +1 exp.
	- +1 exp (Never Say Die bonus)

SAM: "Fans, this next one is going to be brutal."

ABE: "As if we haven't seen enough of Anarchy tonight... but at least this time I'm going to ENJOY it, though he certainly won't. Heh."

("Anarchy in the UK" hits the speakers as Anarchy storms through the curtain, closely followed by the blood-covered Azezel.)

LARRY: "The following contest is a LIGHT BULB DEATHMATCH, scheduled for one fall! Introducing first: accompanied to the ring by Azezel... he weighs in at 229 lb. and hails from London, England... the leader of World Disorder - ANARCHY!!"

(Anarchy stops by the announcer's table, pointing at Sam and Abe.)

ANARCHY: "When I get home an' watch this tape, I BETTER not hear any fuckin' shit from either one of you! Otherwise, I'm gonna find you, rip yer teeth out, and wear 'em for a necklace! Get my drift? NOW PISS OFF!!"

SAM: "Now there was no call for THAT!"

ABE: "I cannot WAIT for Bo to get out here."

(Anarchy slaps Azezel across the back of the head and shouts orders at him before stepping into the ring, pacing back and forth and screaming at the booing crowd. "Ironhead" hits the speakers and the arena erupts. Bo steps through the curtain wearing a turban, his famous toolbelt, and holding Mr. Sickle - with the Tag Team Belt wrapped around the blade - high for everyone to see.)

ABE: "ALRIGHT! This little limey punk is about to get his ass KICKED!"

LARRY: "And his opponent: weighing in at 250 lb. and hailing from Glasgow, Scotland; he represents the Sickos on Parade and is ONE HALF of the EFW World Tag Team Champions... BO ABOBO!!"

LIGHT BULB DEATHMATCH
Anarchy vs Bo Abobo

SAM: "Bo isn't wasting any time getting to the ring! He slides in and Anarchy rushes him as the bell rings... we're underway! Anarchy tackles the legs... Bo blocks him... Anarchy slips out and wraps on a Chickenwing submission... Bo gets out of it, but Anarchy is right on top of him, taking him down with an Axe Kick."

ABE: "Come on, Bo! Don't let this British Shit make you look bad!"

SAM: "The match has just started, Abe. Anarchy applies a Reverse Cruicifix Kneelock, but Bo is quickly out of it. Knuckle Arrow by Bo to the face of Anarchy... Anarchy whips him into the corner..."

*CRASH!*

SAM: "...and Bo SMASHES into one of the Light-bulbs! Anarchy is quick to follow up, scooping him up... BODY SLAM OVER THE TOP ROPE TO THE FLOOR!!"

CROWD: "OHHH!!"

SAM: "Bo somehow managed to avoid getting hurt by the barbed wire, but Anarchy is on his way out to rectify that fact. Bo meets him with a Knuckle Arrow. Anarchy whips him into the steel railing... and whips him again, this time into the steel post! Anarchy using his head here and NOT getting into a toe to toe fist-fight with Bo. Anarchy with a Bodyslam onto the barbed wire! And now he's got him hooked... SNAP SUPLEX ON THE FLOOR!"

CROWD: "YOU FUCKED UP! YOU FUCKED UP!"

ABE: "Oh my lordy Jesus... that boy just committed suicide."

SAM: "You don't suplex Bo, as the saying goes. Anarchy wraps on a Reverse Armbar with Bo down... Bo fights his way up... Anarchy quickly hooks him again... ANOTHER Snap Suplex on the floor! Bo has had enough and knocks Anarchy down with a Hammer Blow to the neck, quickly followed by an Elbow Drop. Bo drags him back to the ring and tosses him inside. He follows him in... AZEZEL shakes the ropes, crotching Bo!"

ABE: *Hits the bell*

SAM: "Dammit, cut that out. Bo is stunned as Anarchy measures him... Low Kick, Middle Kick, Spin Kick to the gut, and finishes the spin with a High Kick that levels Bo! What a combination!"

ABE: "This is disgusting... but not for long! NOW it's getting interesting!"

SAM: "Weehawk is making his way down the ramp to even things out! This one just got uglier! Meanwhile, Anarchy hits a Standing Moonsault for the cover... Bo puts a foot on the ropes. Anarchy yells at the Ref, but doesn't miss a beat, grabbing Bo's arm and snapping it wiht a Shoulder Armbreaker. Anarchy picks him up from behind..."

ANARCHY: "I've got a fuckin' Bo-plex fer ya!"

SAM: "Bo catches him off-guard with a Go-Behind... Backbrain Wheel Kick nails Anarchy! Bo's still reeling from earlier though and can't follow through... Anarchy is up first and whips him in... Running Hard Lariat drops Bo. He goes behind Bo again... RELEASE DRAGON SUPLEX!!"

ABE: "That's it, I'm getting in there..."

SAM: "You stay put! He calls that 'Chasing the Dragon', and it's one of his trademark holds. Anarchy looking to follow up... Bo catches him with a Fireman's Carry Takeover... Anarchy scrambles to his feet and drives his forearm into Bo's neck to put him back down. Anarchy showboats to the crowd."

CROWD: "BOOO!!"

ANARCHY: "FUCK OFF!"

ABE: "This guy just pisses me off."

SAM: "Anarchy applies a Jado Clutch for the pin... 1... 2... Bo kicks out! Anarchy arguing with Stu over the count, but it was a solid 2. Northern Light's Suplex by Anarchy for the pin... 1... Bo sticks his foot under the bottom rope! Anarchy throwing a tantrum now as he picks Bo up... DDT BY BO! Bo goes to the corner... he's got one of the bulbs! He swings for the fences on Anarchy... Anarchy ducks it and pushes him from behind... Bo collides with the the light board again!"

CROWD: "OHHHH!!"

ABE: "Come on, let me at least throw a drink at him...!"

SAM: "Sit down, Abe! Bo grabs Anarchy by the tights and throws him out of the ring... Weehawk has pulled something from his bag of tricks and runs toward Anarchy as Bo distracts Stu... FRYING PAN to the skull!"

ABE: "KABONG!"

SAM: "Azezel runs to the scene, but Weehawk has already pushed Anarchy back in the ring and ran to the other side. Bo shoves Stu out of the way to get to Anarchy... Anarchy grabs him! THROWING BELLY TO BELLY SUPLEX sends Bo flying into the light board! Anarchy gets to his feet, stumbling backward trying to regain his sense of balance. Anarchy reaches to the corner and grabs one of the light bulbs! He rears back and swings... SHATTERS it over Bo's head... BO DOESN'T BUDGE!"

ABE: "YES!"

SAM: "Bo throws a punch... Anarchy grabs the arm and takes him down into the Trashtalker for the submission! Stu is checking Bo, but Bo refuses to give! Bo fights his way to his feet... Anarchy swings and misses with a Hard Lariat... THROWING BELLY TO BELLY BO-PLEX sends Anarchy flying to the center of the ring!!"

CROWD: "BO! BO! BO! BO!"

ABE: "FIRST BO-PLEX OF THE NIGHT!!"

SAM: "Bo grabs one of the light bulbs and swings at Anarchy... Anarchy ducks it in the nick of time... JUMPING DDT plants Bo's face in the mat! Anarchy tosses Bo to the outside and begins trashtalking the crowd. Azezel has Bo... come on, I know there's no DQ, but there's got to be a limit... Azezel lifts Bo onto his shoulders... what is he... ANARCHY HITS THE ROPES... SPRINGBOARD CROSS BODY TO THE OUTSIDE!! Both men crash into the barbed wire!"

CROWD: "HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!"

ABE: "The NERVE of this punk and his little stooge!"

SAM: "Weehawk has run over and has a hockey stick in his hand... BREAKS it over the head of Azezel... UNFAZED! Weehawk LEVELS him with a High Kick... that did the trick. Bo and Anarchy are slow to get to their feet... Bo has been busted open! Bo quickly grabs him... DDT on the barbed wire! Bo drops on top of him and measures him with Punches on the ground. He lifts him to his feet and both men brawl back and forth... Anarchy hooks him... SNAP SUPLEX ON THE BARBED WIRE!!"

CROWD: "OHHHH!!"

ABE: "What is going ON tonight with these World Disorder loons?"

SAM: "They're making a strong statement tonight, that's for sure. Anarchy sends Bo back into the ring and climbs onto the apron... Weehawk runs up and SMACKS him across the back with one of the stray light bulbs! Anarchy stumbles in to the ring to the waiting Bo... Backbrain Wheel Kick levels him! He's got Anarchy hooked from behind... BELLY TO BACK BO-PLEX drops Anarchy on his noggin!"

CROWD: "BO! BO! BO! BO!"

ABE: "YES! Come on, Bo, shut this bastard up once and for all!"

SAM: "CAPTURE BO-PLEX on Anarchy! Bo has a light bulb and looks ready to finally nail Anarchy... Anarchy hits that Kicking Combination out of desperation, and it saves him from a beating. He tosses Bo out of the ring... he's yelling for Azezel, but the big man has his hands full battling Weehawk down the ramp. He waves it off and runs to the ropes... RUNNING SPRINGBOARD CROSSBODY BLOCK TO THE OUTSIDE!! The momentum sends both he and Bo crashing against the security railing!!"

CROWD: "EFW! EFW! EFW!"

ABE: "..."

SAM: "Both men slowly get to their feet... Anarchy grabs him from behind... Bo switches back... GERMAN BO-PLEX ON THE BARBED WIRE!!!"

CROWD: "BO! BO! BO! BO!"

ABE: "YES! That's it, ring the bell!"

SAM: "He's not out of this yet, Abe! Bo's asking the fans if they want to see it again! No shock the answer to that... he grabs Anarchy for the kill... TRASHTALKER IN THE BARBED WIRE!! Anarchy has the hold locked in and is driving all of his weight into the shoulder... and Bo being caught in the barbed wire to boot can't help matters any. But you won't get a submission on the outside, so Anarchy let's go. Bo has him caught... CAPTURE SUPLEX IN THE BARBED WIRE!! Bo's body is covered in blood, but he's smiling as he lifts Anarchy to his feet... he's got him hooked from behind again! DOUBLE GERMAN BO-PLEX ON THE BARBED WIRE!!!"

CROWD: "BO! BO! BO! BO!"

SAM: "Bo leans against the security railing and stares at the prone body of Anarchy. He gives him a kick... and another... Anarchy isn't moving. Bo waves him off and crawls back in the ring. Stu is out now and loolking at Anarchy... he calls for the bell!"

ABE: "THAT'S ONE MORE... OUTTA HERE!! Ha ha! Piss off yourself, bitch!"

SAM: "Azezel runs over to check on his partner as Bo and Weehawk celebrate in the ring. That was a hard fought match for both men, but Bo will walk away with the duke. Azezel dutifully hoists the comatose Anarchy over his shoulder and walks to the back, frowning back at Bo and Weehawk."

RESULT:
10:14 - Bo Abobo d. Anarchy via K.O. (Double German Bo-plex)

Experience
Bo Abobo	- +3 (Win)
Anarchy	- +1 exp.
	- +1 exp (Performance Bonus)

(In a courtroom....)

JUDGE: "So you're trying to tell this court, Mr. Abobo, that 'Bo Abobo's Sickle Munch' is in no way, shape, or form infringing on copyrights held by the Cookie Crisp company, even though your cereal is a straight copy of their design?"

(Bo Abobo answers from the witness stand)

BO: "No."

(Bane stands up from the defense counsel position and approaches the bench with a folder)

BANE: "Your honor, if it may please this court, I'd like it be know that my client has naked photographs of you with a certain child celebrity..."

(Switch to a box of Sickle Much cereal)

*BO ABOBO'S SICKLE MUNCH - they ain't won the case yet, kids!*

(The Duchess and White Queen are already in the ring as we return. "Bad Ass Bitch" is playing and Jane Dod is being carried down the aisle on the shoulders of Caleb Dod.)

LARRY: "Her opponent: being accompanied to the ring by 'Big' Caleb Dod, weighing in at 110 lb. and hailing from Buffalo, NY; she represents the Dod Squod... 'Princess' JANE DOD!!"

(Caleb unceremoniously dumps Jane over the top rope into the ring in a heap. She gets up furious and reaching over the ropes to slap him, but can't quite reach. He looks confusedly up at her. "Theme of Alexia Type 1" hits the speakers, drawing a mixed reaction from the crowd. An entourage of security guards escorts Mylandah to the ring in chains. She is staring a hole through Jane Dod, who is waving her on and yelling obscenities.)

LARRY: "Now making her way to the ring: weighing in at 125 lb. and currently hailing from a Mobile Prison Cell on the EFW Premises... MYLANDAH ARKAR WALDER!!"

(Mylandah comes to a stop and looks at the guards surrounding her with irriation. She tenses up and then snaps her chains loose to free herself, letting them fall to the floor. As she continues to free herself the guards take off back up the ramp, but find their path blocked off by an even larger crowd of guards. These are Vermin's personal security however. "Chaos Temple" begins playing and the fans all rise to their feet to see the incoming spectacle.)

SAM: "What in the world...?"

ABE: "Wow."

LARRY: "Heading to the ring: being accompanied by Avatar, Vermin, and her personal honor guard; she weighs in at 80 lb. and hails from Somewhere in Time; representing the Sickos on Parade... MORNEWEN!!"

(White Queen, Duchess, and Jane all stare, dumbfounded, as Avatar leads the Storm Troopers down the aisle, all of them surrounding Vermin, who is dressed in a black uniform with grey trim. In the crook of Vermin's arm, resting her head on his chest, is Mornewen, wearing a flowing white robe and looking content. Unlike the others, Mylandah isn't staring at Mornewen, but Vermin, though he doesn't seem to notice. Vermin stops at the apron and gently lowers his arm so Mornewen can step on the apron and enter the ring - she earns several catcalls from the audience when she kneels to step through the ropes. When she is inside she removes her robe and hands it to Avatar, who rolls it up and keeps it in his arms. Afterwards Avatar, the Troopers, and Vermin all turn away from the ring and face outward in a circle around the apron, standing guard. All save Avatar are armed and pull out their weapons. The Duchess begins waving her hand in the face of one of them and making faces, but he doesn't budge. Caleb seems oblivious to the situation, slapping the guys on the back and trying to start conversations with them.)

ABE: "Well... this is new..."

SAM: "It appears Vermin and company will be providing security for this match."

ABE: "No shit! These guys mean business when it comes to Mornewen!"

FOUR WAY DANCE
White Queen vs Jane Dod vs Mylandah Arkar Walder vs Mornewen

SAM: "Referee Jenna McGinty is going to have her hands full with this one. Jane is in the Queen's face now, trash talking her, and the Queen just sticks her nose up at her. Meanwhile Mornewen is approaching Mylandah, who hasn't take her eyes off of Vermin. Mornewen taps her on the shoulder... and NOW she's got Mylandah's attention."

ABE: "Why she would want it in the first place, I don't know..."

SAM: "She's saying something to Mylandah, but we can't make it out... meanwhile, White Queen has taken down Jane with an Arm Drag. Mylandah shoves Mornewen away and heads toward Queen. Mornewen decides to take advantage of the downed Jane, lifting her leg and Stomping it in the thigh. Jane answers that with a Poke to the Eye as Mylandah and Queen lock horns. They break off, unable to budge each other... Jane Head-butts Mylandah down. Queen with a Hammer Punch on Jane. Mornewen takes down Queen with an Axe Kick!"

ABE: "SIGH"

SAM: "Problems, Abe?"

ABE: "Huh? What? Oh, sorry. What were we talking about?"

SAM: "The match, Abe. Mornewen has Jane now... DDT to the mat. Now she turns to the White Queen... SLAP to the face knocks Queen down! Mylandah moves in, only to walk into a Double Dropkick from Mornwen and Jane! These things breed strange bedfellows... er, 'gals'. Jane turns on Mornewen with a Head-butt as Mylandah takes her anger out on White Queen, utilizing the Backbrain Lariat. Jane takes advantage, dropping a Knee across the neck of White Queen. She whips Queen toward the corner... Queen turns it around and sends HER in. Mornewen, meanwhile, hits a Jawbreaker on Mylandah. Queen climbs to the second rope and begins pounding the temple of Jane with hard Punches as Mylandah responds to Mornewen with a Hammer Blow."

ABE: "Oh, lovely Mornewen... how long hath I waited to see thee before mine eyes..."

SAM: "What?!"

ABE: "Huh? What? What's going on?"

SAM: "You're a nutjob, that's what's going on. White Queen has Jane locked up in the Stranglehold Alpha while Mornewen catches a kick from Mylandah and turns it into a Dragon Screw. Jane escapes and surprises Queen with a Small Package... not even a one count. Jane with a Stab to the Throat of Queen as Mornewen hits a Deep Arm Drag on Mylandah, following it up with a lightning fast Low Dropkick to the head. Jane with a Poke to the Eye on the Queen... and now a choke hold! Mornewen Arm Drags Mylandah once again... Mylandah is right back up and takes her down with a Hammer Blow, followed up by a Hanging Kneebreaker. GROIN PUNCH by Jane to White Queen!"

ABE: *Hits the Bell, then returns to his dreamy stupor*

SAM: "Well, I guess that counts. Jane with a Kneedrop across the Queen's neck. Mornewen tries to sneak in a move, but Jane grabs her arm and hits a Running Armbreaker! Mylandah works over White Queen with a pair of Middle Kicks, followed by a Back Brain High Kick as Jane once again hits the Running Armbreaker on Mornewen. Jane follows up with a Kneedrop to the neck, but gets caught in the back by a Middle Kick from Mylandah, which sets her up for a kick from Mornewen, and finally White Queen scoops her up and delivers a Schmidt Backbreaker! Mornewn moves to apply a Stranglehold Alpha to Mylandah, but Jane tackles her down... Mornewen backswitches and grabs Jane's arm... Crucifix Armbar! Jane is in pain... Mylandah breaks up the hold."

ABE: "I bet her bathwater tastes good..."

SAM: "You'll have to forgive my wingman, fans. He's an idiot. All four women brawling amongst each other now. Jane hits a wicked Body Tackle on Mylandah that takes her off her feet. White Queen takes advantage, hitting an Inverted Atomic Drop on Mylandah. Mornwen DDTs Jane to the mat, only to have White Queen catch her in a Schmidt Backbreaker. Queen drops on top of her with a series of Punches now to wear down the newest Sicko. Jane breaks that up, taking Queen down into the mount position and applying a Side Headlock. Mornewen drops Mylandah with a Spin Kick to the stomach... and there's a SLAP to White Queen! Jane tries to tackle Mylandah down, but Mylandah blocks the mount with a Front Facelock... she backswitches and hooks her by the legs... REVERSE POWERBOMB on Jane!!"

CROWD: "OHHHH!"

SAM: "Mylandah goes for a grapple on Queen, but gets Back Elbowed to the mat... Jane pounces with a pair of Kneedrops to the back. White Queen Bodyslams Mornewen and measures her as she rises... Mongolian Chop on Mornewen! Queen turns her attention to Jane Dod, hitting a Back Suplex Pin on her... it's broken up by Mylandah. Mylandah throws a Kick to the downed Jane as Mornewen connects with a Low Dropkick to the head of White Queen. Jane with a wicked Snap Suplex on Mylandah as White Queen delivers another Backbreaker to Mornewen. They switch partners, Jane locking in a Tiger Suplex Pin on Mornewen as White Queen hoists Mylandah over her shoulder... RUNNING POWERSLAM on Mylandah! Jenna drops to count the pin on Mornewen... it's in the ropes! Jane grabs White Queen and strikes with a Running Armbreaker as Mylandah makes a comeback, delivering a Reverse Neckbreaker on Mornewen."

ABE: "Come on Mornewen! You can do it! I'll give you the best victory surprise back in my hotel room, just..."

SAM: "GOOD GOD, man, get a grip! Jane has Mylandah now.. THE BITCHSLAP!! Signature move from Jane Dod and that may be it for Mylandah! Japanese Leg Roll Clutch for the cover... 1... 2... KICK OUT! Stubborn determination is keeping Mylandah alive in this. Mornewen with a Low Dropkick to the head of White Queen... HAND OF DOD by Jane on Mylandah!!"

CROWD: "OHHH!!"

SAM: "Jane is on an adrenaline rush right now... Mylandah gets to her feet in a daze... Jane salutes her with both Middle Fingers and tackles her off her feet! Wait, White Queen has Mornewen up... KAMIKAZE BOMB! 1... 2... FOOT ON THE ROPES! The Queen is in shock! Jane meanwhile goes for the arrogant cover on Mylandah... 1... 2.. 3! NO!! Mylandah got the shoulder up just before the 3! Jane doesn't like that call, but it's going to stand! Mornewen comes back with a Jumping Head-butt to take White Queen off her feet... and there's the Low Dropkick once again. Mylandah has rolled out of the ring and is trying to get her bearings as Mornewen goes to town on White Queen with a tribute to Terry Funk - the One Foot Head-butt Rush!"

ABE: "Beautiful... violent... sophisticated... and she looks just like Mom..."

SAM: "La la la, I'm not hearing this... Jane tries to sneak up on Mornewen, but gets a Slap in the face for her efforts. Mylandah slides back in the ring and tries a a two handed cover on White Queen... 1... 2... Kick Out! Mornewen with a Victory Roll on Jane... Jane scrambles and gets her foot under the ropes. Jane and White Queen struggle to get some leverage on each other... Mylandah moves in on them, only to get caught with a Double Dropkick from both women! Jane with the Running Armbreaker on White Queen as Mylandah gets to her feet... Mornewen stretches high with a Big Kick to the back of her head!"

ABE: "!!! I see London, I see Watoosie, I see the edge of Mornewen's..."

SAM: "ABE! Remember the FCC? Mornewen hits the Stomping Head-butt Rush on Jane as White Queen attempts to capitalize on the downed Mylandah... 1... 2... FOOT ON THE ROPE! Mylandah is in a bad way here... I spoke to soon, as Mylandah goes BERZERK with strikes and kicks all over White Queen, ending with a High Kick to the back of her skull! Mylandah's climbing to the top! She perches, waiting for White Queen to rise... DOUBLE AXE HANDLE!! All four women are now going at it!"

ABE: "PIER 4 BRAWL!!"

SAM: "There's the Abe we all know and hate! White Queen gets behind Mornewen... BACK SUPLEX... she bridges for the pin... 1... 2... BARELY GOT THE SHOULDER UP!! Close call for Mornewen there! Jane has Mylandah hooked for the Tiger Suplex... Mylandah kicks back and knocks her leg out from under her! White Queen with a Jumping DDT on Mylandah and Jane surprises Mornewen with a Standing Victory Roll... in the ropes! Mylandah kicks away a double team from Queen and Jane... but gets caught by a Spinning Inferno kick from Mornewen! White Queen has Jane set up for a Tombstone... and THERE'S the Fall of Knight! Mylandah rams Mornewen's face into the buckles... Mornewen shoves her out and jumps up... FRANKENSTEINER for the pin! 1... 2... FOOT ON THE ROPES!"

ABE: "BOO! Come on you dyke Ref! You should throw her out on general principle!"

SAM: "Abe, just because she turns YOU down for a date, doesn't make her gay."

ABE: "Yeah, riiiight..."

SAM: "Mylandah with a High Speed Belly to Back Suplex on Mornewen, dropping her right on her neck! Jane surprises White Queen with a Standing Victory Roll! 1... 2... KICK OUT! Jane drops to pin Mornewen while Mylandah levels the White Queen with a wicked High Kick... 1... 2... KICK OUT by Mornewen!"

ABE: "YAY!"

SAM: "You're pathetic. Mornewen with another Spinning Inferno Kick on Mylandah. Jane goes for the win with a Tiger Suplex on White Queen... Mornewen breaks it up! Mornewen hooks the head of Jane with her leg... Guillotine Ace Crusher plants Jane face-first in the mat! All four women are exhausted from the effort put forth thus far... Mornewen hooks White Queen in the Sérë Súmaryassë!"

ABE: "The WHAT?!"

SAM: "That's what it says on the sheet! The Crooked Head Scissors is applied, will White Queen give it up? Jane breaks it up and smacks her ass and laughs at the downed women. Jane applies the Wrath of Dod to Queen! Queen is holding tough... Mylandah is on the top rope! SWAN DIVE SPLASH across the back of Mornewen!! She rolls her over for the cover, but Mornewen quickly puts her foot on the ropes. What is the Duchess doing... she's grabbed White Queen's foot and pulled her out of the ring, breaking the Wrath of Dod! Jane is ENRAGED! Queen dusts herself off and has Duchess check her hair before getting back in the ring. Mylandah and Jane are taking breathers, which leaves Mornewen defenseless as the Queen lifts her up and plants her back down across the ring with a Running Powerslam!"

ABE: "YOU BITCH! I'LL KILL YOU!!"

SAM: "Calm down, Abe! She'd break you in half! White Queen hits a BIG TIME Atomic Drop and Jane Dod... Mylandah picks her right up and drops her hard with the High Speed Back Suplex! Jane with a Stab to the Throat of Mylandah and takes her over with a High Speed Snap Suplex! The Queen continues to punish Mornewen's back with another Scmidt Backbreaker... and now both she and Jane taunt Mornewen mercilessly. The Queen suddenly grabs Jane... and Mylandah has found her way to the top rope again! SWAN DIVE SPLASH on Mornewen for the pin! 1... 2... KICKOUT!! Mylandah is getting frustrated now. KAMIKAZE BOMB on Jane Dod! 1... CALEB PULLS QUEEN OUT OF THE RING!! The Queen is HORRIFIED that Caleb has put his hands on her... he's just sheepishly waving at her and smiling... to which she answers with a hard SLAP to the face before getting back in the ring!"

ABE: "Will you please pay attention to what's important? Mornewen's in trouble here!"

SAM: "Shoulder Neckbreaker by Mylandah drops White Queen and Jane sends Mornewen flying with a Release Tiger Suplex! Mylandah goes for the cover... 1... 2... Duchess puts White Queen's foot on the ropes! Mylandah looks ready to tear someone's head off! Skewer DDT by Jane on Mornewen!"

ABE: "NOOOOOO!! NOT HER FACE!!"

SAM: "Mylandah has White Queen scooped up... DESTINY DRIVER!! What impact! Mornewen is coming back to life... SLAP to the face drops Jane... she drops White Queen with a Spinning Inferno Kick... she's applying a Bow and Arrow Submission to Mylandah!! She's got it locked in... Mylandah is in pain... will she... is she... SHE GOT THE ROPES!"

ABE: "OH COME ON!"

SAM: "Mylandah delivers Backbrain Lariats to Mornewen and Jane... she's looking like a bomb ready to go off! White Queen quiets her down with a Jumping DDT... and there's one for Mornewen! All four women brawling back and forth... White Queen drops Mornewen with the Mongolian Chop... Mylandah grabs Queen and sends her charging into the turnbuckle across the ring! Jane decides to pick on the downed Mornewn as Mylandah follows in White Queen, climbing the top rope. DIVING GUILLOTINE LEG DROP across the back and neck of White Queen! Jane hits the Bitchslap on Mornewen! Shoulder Neckbreaker by Mylandah drops White Queen... she whips her to the ropes... SPINE BUSTER!! Mornewen has taken down Jane and climbs to the top rope... SWAN DIVE SPLASH!!"

ABE: "I think she touched the rafters! What elevation... what grace!"

SAM: "She connects for the pin! 1... 2... CALEB PUTS HER FOOT ON THE ROPES! Uh-oh... the Storm Troopers are giving Caleb the evil eye... BEATDOWN! Four of the guards are stomping the holy hell out of Caleb Dod!!"

ABE: "YEAH! Get him!"

SAM: "Maybe these guys will have a positive effect out here afterall. Mylandah whips White Queen to the ropes again... ANOTHER Spine Buster! Queen's head snapped off the mat with that one! Mornewen drops Jane with a Jumping Head-butt... and there's another Big Boot... err, 'Foot' to the back of Mylandah's head. She climbs the top rope..."

ABE: "Oh please, she's right above me... I don't think i can take this..."

SAM: "SWAN DIVE SPLASH... she hits nothing but mat!! Queen lifted Mylandah up in time for Mornewen to crash land! Mylandah thanks her by taking her head off with a Short Arm Clothesline! Jane hits an Atomic Drop on Mornewen... White Queen grabs Jane and hits the Fall of Knight tombstone! Mornewen has the Queen... Guillotine Ace Crusher plants her! Mylandah is in a rage... SHE'S GOING FOR THE CLOVERLEAF!! She's struggling to turn the Queen over... she does! Duchess reaches in to give her hand to Queen.. she's got it! She's pulling on the Queen's arm to get her out... Mylandah refuses to let go... she DRAGS Queen away from the ropes, nearly pulling Duchess in with her! She screams and pulls back even tighter on the hold... White Queen nods her head! She gave up!!"

ABE: "PFEW! That's one monster down. Come on, Mornewen!"

SAM: "Mornewen runs at Mylandah... ROUNDHOUSE KICK levels Mornewen... but Jane had a wide opening to apply the Reverse DDT, dropping Mylandah. Jane's looking around, calling for Caleb... but he's been dragged to the back by the Storm Troopers! Jane is irate! Meanwhile, Mornewen grabs Mylandah from behind... but gets a face-ful of elbows! Mornewen stumbles to the mat... Jane pounces on her for the pin... Jenna drops to count... 1... 2... JANE'S GOT TWO HAND-FULS OF THONG... 3!!"

CROWD: *WHISTLE*

ABE: "AAAAAAGGGGHHH!!! No! My light, my life... my GOD, she shaves!"

SAM: "Jenna didn't see it at all, so it's going to stand! And we're down to two women... Jane Dod and Mylandah Arkar Walder! You have to give the advantage to Jane here, Mylandah has taken one hell of a beating."

ABE: "SNIFF! We were going to vacation in Bermuda..."

SAM: "What PLANET are you on right now? Mornewen looks dazed... but she's going to leave quietly, it seems. She rolls out on the apron where Vermin is ready to take her back... and the whole procession is leaving with her! With Caleb out cold on the floor, we now have a one on one match! Mylandah is distracted by the exiting troop... is she yelling, 'look at me'?"

ABE: "... and then we were going to ski in Aspen..."

SAM: "SIGH... Jane takes advantage, jumping Mylandah from behind... Mylandah turns it around on her, ramming her face in the buckles... Jane EXPLODES onto Mylandah with a Two Handed Choke, taking her down to the mat and doing her level best to squeeze the breath out of her! Mylandah THROWS her off and goes for the pin! 1... 2... FOOT ON THE ROPES! Both women are slow to getting to their feet..."

ABE: "...and if it was a girl we were going to name her Lateesha..."

SAM: "I don't believe it... Caleb Dod is getting to his feet. Meanwhile both women are clawing at each other, their frustration and determination fueling them to bring the other down... Jane Pokes her in the eye! She sees Caleb and calls for him to get on the apron. Here comes the Irish Whip... Mylandah reverses... Caleb CLOCKS Jane with a big Right Hand!"

ABE: "... and they would have gone to the BEST schools in South Hampton... man that Caleb is a dumbass... and then she was going to introduce me to her lesbian friends..."

SAM: "Jane is loopy as she turns around... and walks into the waiting arms of Mylandah... DESTINY DRIVER!! And there's the Cloverleaf!! Mylandah rears back and screams, sinching in the hold... and that's it for Jane, she's giving up! Jenna calls for the bell, but Mylandah still has the hold locked in! Jenna is doing her best to break the hold, but not having much luck... here comes Caleb into the ring... he stomps her in the head... she STILL won't let go! Caleb is dumbfounded... and then gets distracted by the lights in the ceiling, starting to count them. Finally, Mylandah lets go and allows Jenna to raise her hand. She's battered and bruised, but she managed to pull out the win in the end. If I were Jack Dod, I'd be worried right now."

ABE: "...and then... huh? Are you saying something? Is the match over?"

RESULT:
18:44 - Mylandah Arkar Walder d. White Queen via submission (the Cloverleaf)
19:28 - Jane Dod d. Mornewen via pinfall (Jap. Leg Roll Clutch w/ thong bridge)
20:25 - Mylandah Arkar Walder d. Jane Dod via submission (the Cloverleaf)
WINNER - Mylandah Arkar Walder

Experience
Mylandah Arkar Walder	- +5 (Win)
Jane Dod	- +1 exp.
	- +1 exp (Performance Bonus)
Mornewen	- +1 exp.
	- +1 exp (Never Say Die Bonus)
White Queen	- +1 exp.
	- +1 exp (She-Vader Bonus)

SAM: "Fans, I'll let Larry do the honors."

LARRY: "Ladies and gentlemen, it is now time for our MAIN EVENT!"

(The crowd goes nuts at the announcement, but soon begin jeering as "I Stand Alone" hits the speakers.)

LARRY: "The following non-title contest is scheduled for one fall, and is an I QUIT MATCH! Introducing first: weighing in at 245 lb. and hailing from Birmingham, Alabama; 'The Human Wrecking Ball' JACK... FURLONG!!"

(Furlong makes his way down the aisle, paying no attention to the fans or the things they are throwing at him. He is a man on a mission. When he hits the ring he paces back and forth impatiently. "Legend" hits the speakers and the crowd goes nuts.)

LARRY: "AND HIS OPPONENT: weighing in at 242 lb. and hailing from Anywhere He Damn Well Pleases; he is the EFW WORLD Heavyweight Champion - 'THE ICON' Rick... Idol!!!"

(Idol stops at the top of the rampway, looking at all the fans standing on their feet and cheering. He seems in awe for a moment, then takes the belt from around his waist and holds it high over his head, sending the fans into a cheering fit. Furlong just shakes his head in disgust and waves Idol to come into the ring. Idol puts the belt over his shoulder and walks to the ring, never taking his eyes off of Furlong.)

MAIN EVENT
I QUIT MATCH
Jack Furlong vs "The ICON" Rick Idol

SAM: "If you think these men don't want to rip each other to pieces, you've been living under a rock for the past 2 years. Idol is in the ring now and Furlong immediately swings a Haymaker, but Idol ducks... IDOL SLAPS THE TASTE OUT OF HIS MOUTH!"

ABE: "Oh boy, this one's already past 'ugly' and getting into 'warzone'..."

SAM: "Furlong trips Idol up with a Drop Toe Hold and quickly scoops him up for a Body Slam... HE DUMPED HIM OVER THE TOP ROPE!"

CROWD: "OHH!"

SAM: "Idol quickly back in the ring, but Furlong is waiting on him... he grabs him by the hair and Punches him square in the forehead... and another... and ANOTHER... finally he drops Idol with a measured Elbow Stamp. Furlong with a Body Slam quickly followed by an Elbow Drop. He hooks him for a Suplex... Idol blocks it and reverses! Furlong is up angry and goes for it again... Jumping Suplex connects this time. Furlong grabs the microphone and drops on top of Idol, smashing it into his face."

FURLONG: "Come on Idol! SAY IT! Say 'you quit'!"

IDOL: "Fuck you!"

FURLONG: "WRONG ANSWER...!"

SAM: "Furlong tosses the mic aside and lays in with the Punches. Idol shoves him off, but Furlong comes back with a Double Axe Handle across the neck. Furlong just STOMPING away at Idol, keeping him from getting to his feet. Furlong rears back for a punch... Idol connects first! Idol lights Furlong up with lefts and rights... and THERE'S that big Right Hand to knock Furlong off his feet! Now Idol stomps Furlong into the mat!"

ABE: "Idol's got to keep this up if he wants to get in this!"

SAM: "Idol grabs Furlong from behind... but he eats some elbow! Furlong nearly took Idol's head off with a Hard Lariat! He grabs the microphone again and begins pounding at him with Punches again. Idol is busted open!"

FURLONG: "COME ON YOU SACK OF SHIT! GIVE IT UP!"

IDOL: "*SPIT* Is that all you've got?"

FURLONG: "GRRRARRGH!"

SAM: "Furlong throws the mic away and hauls Idol to his feet... ANOTHER Hard Lariat, followed by an Elbow Drop. Furlong with an Irish Whip... TURNING SPINEBUSTER plants Idol into the mat hard!"

ABE: "Uh-oh, he's going for the Shitbag Slammer!"

SAM: "Idol may not be conscious to say 'I Quit' after this... IDOL WITH A MULE KICK!"

ABE: *Hits the bell*

SAM: "Will you stop that? Furlong grimaces in pain as he holds onto the top rope to steady himself. Idol regains his senses... UPPERCUT TO THE GROIN!!"

ABE: *Hits the bell*

SAM: "I said stop that! Furlong is on the mat and writhing in pain after that one! Idol picks him up... Furlong quickly goes behind and hits an Original Back Suplex, one of his trademarked maneuvers. Both men are down... Furlong is first to recover, slowly reaching over and grabbing the microphone. He turns Idol over and lays in with the Punches once again."

FURLONG: "GIVE UP!"

IDOL: "COUGH!"

FURLONG: "GIVE UP YOU PIECE OF SHIT!!"

IDOL: "...are you saying something? Sorry, I was nodding off..."

FURLONG: "YOU'RE GOING TO SAY IT, YOU FUCKER!"

SAM: "Furlong drives the mic hard into Idol's face before tossing it aside once again. He lifts the dazed Idol to his feet and stands back... DROPKICK!"

ABE: "The Best Dropkick in the Business! I can't believe Furlong has shut Idol down this early in the match!"

SAM: "Furlong takes a moment to raise his arms and let everyone know how good that move was... what a prick. He grabs Idol by the hair and rams him face-first into the turnbuckle. He's backing up, what's he...? RUNNING DROPKICK INTO THE CORNER!!"

CROWD: "OHHHHH!!"

ABE: "Well... that's it for Idol. Furlong is ANNHILATING him!"

SAM: "Idol takes a blind swing, but Furlong moves out of the way and hooks him... TRASH COMPACTOR! That may have taken whatever Idol had left out of him. Furlong hits the ropes as Idol gets to his feet, dazed... HARD RUNNING LARIAT! Furlong picks up the microphone and grabs Idol by the hair, holding it in his face."

FURLONG: "You get it now, shitbag? YOU'RE NOTHING!! GIVE IT UP! YOU HEAR ME, COCKSUCKER? I SAID..."

SAM: "IDOL WITH A SNAP SUPLEX!! That came out of NOWHERE! Stomp to stomach of Furlong... Furlong fights to get to his feet but Idol quickly moves into position... GROIN UPPERCUT!"

ABE: *Hits the bell*

SAM: "STOP THAT ALREADY! Idol with a Kneedrop to the back of Furlong. Furlong grabs him by the hair and rams him face-first into the turnbuckle... Idol grabs him by the arm and runs... RUNNING ARMBREAKER! Both men are down, Idol desperately trying to get his wind back. Furlong is up first as both men get to their feet... Furlong quickly hits a Punch Rush to drop Idol. He's got him by the legs and running his mouth... GROIN STOMP!"

ABE: *Hits the bell*

SAM: "I'm going to hit YOU with that thing in a minute. Furlong connects with an Original Back Suplex. He pulls Idol into position... POWERBOMB WHIP! He whips Idol to the ropes... DROPKICK! Furlong is just dominant tonight!"

ABE: "He's dominant EVERY night, but tonight he's taking on the World Champion and doing it. Let EFW Management ignore THAT!"

SAM: "I guarantee you both Management AND Vermin and Tyrant are paying close attention to this. Idol comes back with another Running Armbreaker, and lays in a Stomp to the neck, but is it too little, too late? Furlong forces him into position... JUMPING PILEDRIVER! He stands over the prone Idol and raises his arms."

CROWD: "BOOO!!"

SAM: "Furlong with another Stomp to the Groin! *He stops Abe from hitting the bell again* That's enough of that."

ABE: "Oh come on!"

SAM: "Both men trading punches... Furlong wins the exchange. He hauls Idol to his feet and grabs him from behind... SHITBAG SLAMMER!!!"

CROWD: "OOHHHH!!!"

ABE: "IT'S OVER! All he has to do is put that mic to Idol's mouth!"

SAM: "Will Idol actually say the words 'I Quit' for the first time in his career? Both men are still on the mat... while an impressive performance, Furlong is getting tired in there. He slowly reaches for the microphone and crawls over to Idol, a look of determination on his face. He lays in with the Punching once again, shoving the microphone up against Idol's mouth."

FURLONG: "SAY IT!"

IDOL: "..."

FURLONG: "I SAID, 'SAY IT', MOTHERFUCKER!! YOU'RE DONE, IT'S OVER, SAY, 'YOU QUIT'!!"

IDOL: "..."

SAM: "Furlong stands up and forcible throws the microphone onto Idol. He's clearly getting frustrated in there. He lifts Idol to his feet... IDOL WITH A SNAP SUPLEX! How is he even conscious? Idol looks down at Furlong with contempt as he picks up the microphone. He sits atop Furlong and holds the mic against his mouth as he lays into him with Punches."

IDOL: "Your turn, Jacky... let's hear it!"

FURLONG: "FUCK YOU!"

IDOL: "Say it!"

FURLONG: "YOUR MOTHER WAS MY BITCH!"

CROWD: "OOOOH!"

ABE: "Oh boy...

SAM: "Idol throws the microphone aside with a laugh. There's another Snap Suplex on Furlong. Furlong comes back with another Punch Rush, dazing Idol. Furlong hits the ropes... Running Hard Lariat! He goes for a German Suplex... Idol drops back on him to counter! Idol has the microphone again and unmercifully bashes it in Furlong's face!"

IDOL: "GIVE UP, JABRONE!"

FURLONG: "LICK MY BALLS, FAGGOT!"

IDOL: "SAY THE WORDS!"

FURLONG: "OKAY, YOUR DAD WAS WATCHING, TOO!"

CROWD: "OOOOH!"

ABE: "I want a copy of this tape!"

SAM: "Furlong has been busted open! Idol drags Furlong to his feet, but gets caught with the Trash Compactor! He struggles to his feet, only to get taken back down with a Hard Lariat! Furlong grabs the mic again and bashes it repeatedly into Idol's skull!"

FURLONG: "GODDAMMIT, GIVE UP!"

IDOL: "YOU GIVE UP!"

FURLONG: "NOT ON YOUR BEST DAY!"

IDOL: "This IS your best day, Jabrone, and look what it's getting you!"

FURLONG: "GODDAMMIT YOU'RE GOING TO SAY IT!!"

SAM: "Idol sneaks behind Furlong... Furlong reverses into a Reverse Drop Toe Hold, driving Idol's face into the bottom turnbuckle! Both men are down and tired. They both use the ropes to pull themselves to their feet. Furlong rushes in... SPLIT SECOND DDT!!"

CROWD: "OOOHHH!!"

ABE: "Idol's still in it! I can't believe it!"

SAM: "Idol waits for Furlong to get to his feet... he sticks a finger in the air signalling the Legend Killer... he hits the ropes... BEST DROPKICK IN THE BUSINESS out of nowhere drops Idol flat!"

CROWD: "OOHHH!"

SAM: "Furlong snarls as he drags Idol to his feet... SHITBAG SLAMMER!! He holds on and gets back up... ORIGINAL BACK SUPLEX!!"

CROWD: "OHHHHH!!!"

ABE: "Furlong's going to kill him if he doesn't give up!"

SAM: "Idol may rather die than say it, Abe! Furlong forces Idol up... Idol with a Punch Rush! Furlong spins in a daze and Idol rears back... BACK BRAIN LEGEND KILLER!!"

CROWD: "OHHHH!!"

SAM: "Idol grabs the mic and forces it into Furlong's face!"

IDOL: "GIVE UP, FURLONG! YOU'RE NEVER GOING TO GET ME TO SAY IT, SO JUST GIVE IT..."

SAM: "Furlong slaps the mic away and grabs Idol by the hair, dragging him to the corner. RAMS him hard face-first into the corner! He's setting Idol up backwards onto the top turnbuckle! What's he got in mind here? TOP ROPE SHITBAG SLAMMER!!!"

CROWD: "HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!"

ABE: "I gotta go with the crowd on this one... HOLY SHIT!"

SAM: "Furlong pushes himself off the mat out of sheer stubborness and stalks Idol. He's dragging him to the corner again! He's got him set up for a Superplex... LEGEND KILLER sends Furlong flying to center of the ring flat on his back! Idol flips him off from the top rope before jumping back down. Idol picks him up... Furlong with a desperation Side Russian Legsweep and both men are down! You can cut the tension with a knife right now!"

ABE: "Might need a chainsaw..."

SAM: "Both men are up... Furlong with a quick go-behind and hits the Original Back Suplex! He stops to catch a breather as Idol gets to his feet in a daze. Furlong's going for the Shitbag Slammer again... IDOL REVERSES INTO A KEYLOCK!! Idol yells for Stu to get the microphone, this could be it!"

IDOL: "SAY IT!"

FURLONG: "NEVER!"

IDOL: "GIVE IT UP, YOU BASTARD!"

FURLONG: "YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO SNAP IT OFF!"

SAM: "You can see the pain etched in Furlong's face, but STILL he refuses to give up! Idol wrenches the Keylock in tighter, but Furlong refuses to say it... Furlong with an eyerake breaks the hold! He rams Idol face-first into the corner... Idol forces him into position!"

IDOL: "NUMBER ONE!!"

SAM: "NUMBER ONE POWERBOMB!! No pinfalls in this one and Idol knows it, so he releases the hold... Furlong grabs him from behind in desperation... SHITBAG SLAMMER!!! Furlong with a vicious Stomp and picks Idol up... Idol forces him into position again... Reverse Tombstone caves in Furlong's neck!! Idol hauls him to his feet and steps back... LEGEND KILLER!!!"

ABE: "He knocked Furlong into the air with that one!"

CROWD: "OHHHH!!"

SAM: "Idol whips him to the ropes... RUNNING LEGEND KILLER!! Idol drops to one knee and flexes his muscles, sending the fans into a cheering frenzy! Furlong's fighting to get to his feet! He just took two back to back Legend Killers and is still conscious! Idol puts his hands on his hips and raises an eyebrow... I don't think he was expecting that! Furlong stumbles a bit, but rears back to throw a Right Hook... LEGEND KILLER beats him to the punch! Idol goes to pick up the mic, but Furlong AGAIN struggles to get to his feet. Idol just stares in disbelief, dropping the mic. Furlong is up, but there's nobody manning the wheel. Idol shrugs and hits the ropes... RUNNING LEGEND KILLER! He drops to one knee and flexes again, and the fans go nuts!"

ABE: "This is brutal!"

SAM: "Idol grabs the mic and shoves it in Furlong's face... Furlong somehow connects with the Trash Compactor! The blood of both men is staining the mat as they struggle to their feet. Furlong forces Idol into position... Jumping Piledriver! Furlong whips him to the ropes... Hard Running Lariat! He picks Idol up... Best Dropkick in the Business! Furlong raises his arms and soaks in the deafening boos."

ABE: "He's going on pure meanness right now!"

SAM: "Irish Whip to the ropes... RUNNING DROPKICK levels Idol! He drags Idol to his feet and whips him toward the corner... Idol reverses, sending Furlong back first hard into the corner! Idol ties Furlong to the Tree of Woe... he lays into him with a series of VICIOUS Toe Kicks to the ribs! Furlong forces him into position... Idol blocks and dumps him with a Back Body Drop! He drops to one knee and flexes for the crowd."

ABE: "This has been going on for nearly 20 minutes and neither man is ready to give up yet, despite both taking the specialties of the other man, despite both taking their finishers multiple times! Someone get me a Snickers."

SAM: "Not going anywhere for a while, Abe? LEGEND KILLER by Idol lays out Furlong! Idol whips him HARD into the turnbuckles, then picks up the mic and follows in. He stomps Furlong down to the mat and chokes him with his foot, holding the mic to his face."

IDOL: "SAY IT, JABRONE!"

FURLONG: "URK..."

IDOL: "Two simple words and your pain is over, say it!"

FURLONG: "... eat... shit..."

IDOL: "I can go all night, Furlong!"

SAM: "Idol backs out, allowing Furlong to get to his feet... ANOTHER LEGEND KILLER!! Idol takes a breather as Furlong lays on the mat. Idol picks him up, but Furlong uses the tights to send Idol flying to the outside. Furlong collapses in the center of the ring and tries to get his breath back as Idol does the same on the floor. Idol gets back in the ring, but Furlong is waiting... Jumping Piledriver! Furlong is setting him up for something... MULE KICK by Idol!"

ABE: *Hits the bell*

SAM: "Abe! That's the last time I'm warning you. Idol poses once again to this packed crowd. Idol grabs him from behind and drops him with a Reverse DDT! Furlong tries to fight his way back up, but Idol stops him short with a Hard Punch to the Breadbasket!"

ABE: "... breadbasket... ?"

SAM: "Idol flips him off before going for a grapple... Furlong reverses into a Side Russian Leg Sweep! Both men desperately get to their feet... SPLIT SECOND DDT by Idol! He waits for Furlong to get up... ANOTHER LEGEND KILLER!! How many is that now??"

ABE: "Hell, I don't know!"

SAM: "Idol has the microphone and is on top of Furlong with Punches."

IDOL: "You're NOTHING to me, Furlong! Give it up now and spare yourself more humiliation!"

FURLONG: "I'll DIE first!"

SAM: "At this point, you have to believe he means it! Furlong shoves Idol off and regains his footing. Idol hits the ropes... DROPKICK! And there's the Trash Compactor once again! Furlong runs for the ropes this time... Idol catches him with an Ipponzei arm throw! Furlong comes back with a Powerbomb. He runs to the ropes and takes Idol's head off with a Hard Running Lariat! Idol is back up, but Furlong hits another Lariat! Idol whips him to the ropes, but Furlong ducks the Knuckle Arrow attempt and scoops Idol up into the Shoulderbreaker! Best Dropkick in the Business connects and Idol is in trouble once again!"

ABE: "This has been the best fight I've ever seen!"

SAM: "NUMBER ONE POWERBOMB by Idol, but he can't follow up. Another Shoulderbreaker from Furlong! He grabs Idol for the Powerbomb Whip... Idol blocks it with a desperation Groin Uppercut!"

ABE: *Hits the bell*

SAM: *SMACK*

ABE: "Hey!"

SAM: "I warned you! Idol connects with a Backbrain Legend Killer and poses for the fans again. He goes for it again, but Furlong counters with the Spinning Back Toehold. He grabs Idol from behind... Idol reverses into the Keylock again! The Ref scrambles for the mic and holds it to Furlong's face, but Furlong just slaps it away, screaming and looking at Idol with intense hatred!"

ABE: "How in the hell is this going to end?"

SAM: "These two are prepared to go all night, it seems! Furlong shoves Idol off and quickly drops on him with Punches. Idol shoves him off, but Furlong has murder in his eyes... Original Back Suplex! Oh no, Idol is rolling on the mat holding his neck!"

ABE: "Uh-oh..."

SAM: "Furlong sees it and... oh no, he's smiling, and that's never a good thing. Idol is trying to use Furlong's body as a ladder to get back to his feet, and Furlong just laughs at the feeble attempt. Furlong kicks him away and rears back for a punch... IDOL BLOCKS and nails him with a right hook, sending him down to the mat! Idol is grimacing in pain, but he's still in this! He misses with the Legend Killer, but sends Furlong flying into the corner HARD with an Irish Whip! He follows in... Jumping Piledriver from Furlong and that isn't doing Idol's neck any good! Furlong picks him up to go for it again, but Idol drives his fist into the gut of Furlong to fold him over to the mat! Furlong comes back with a Shoulderbreaker and an Elbow Drop combination. And there's ANOTHER Jumping Piledriver! Furlong grabs him by the feet and Stomps him VICIOUSLY in the Groin!"

ABE: "PING!"

SAM: *SMACK*

ABE: "Hey, I didn't ring the bell!"

SAM: "No sound effects, either! Furlong goes behind... Mule Kick by Idol... don't do it, Abe! Furlong has the mic once again and drops for more punches."

FURLONG: "Come... on... you... FUCKER! Just... QUIT... already... !"

IDOL: "... NEVER... !"

SAM: "Furlong smashes the mic into his face and lifts him up... Shoulderbreaker! He grabs him for the Shitbag Slammer... IDOL REVERSES INTO THE KEYLOCK! Once again Idol is going after that arm! Stu grabs the mic and holds it for Furlong."

STU: "What do you say, Furlong?"

FURLONG: "GET THAT THING OUT OF MY FACE!"

IDOL: "DAMMIT, I'LL BREAK IT IF I HAVE TO, FURLONG!"

FURLONG: "I DON'T GIVE A SHIT!"

SAM: "Furlong somehow fights out of the hold and LEVELS Idol with a forearm. He drops an Elbow... and ANOTHER vicious Stomp to the Groin!"

ABE: "... please?"

SAM: "NO! Furlong rams Idol's face into the corner and hooks him for a Superplex... Idol blocks and counters with a Suplex... he dumps Furlong over the top rope to the floor!"

CROWD: "HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!"

SAM: "Idol gives him the finger as he gets to his feet, sending Furlong into a rage on the floor. Furlong scrambles back into the ring, only to get caught with a Split Second DDT! Idol picks him up and hits the ropes... RUNNING LEGEND KILLER!! He grabs the microphone and holds it up to Furlong... Furlong shoves the microphone back into Idol's face, smacking him hard! Idol comes back with another Hard Punch to the gut. Furlong slaps his hands away and catches him with another Dropkick... Idol goes flying over the top rope to the floor! Furlong stands back and raises his arms as the fans boo."

ABE: "I think they've gone from their second wind to their third wind now."

SAM: "Idol is back in the ring, but Furlong was ready... Original Back Suplex! Idol somehow recovers and whips him to the ropes... Knuckle Arrow levels Furlong on the rebound! Furlong whips IDOL to the ropes... DROPKICK! Idol forces him into position... Reverse Tombstone! He picks Furlong up, but Furlong reverses into the Side Russian Legsweep! Idol comes back with a whip to the ropes... Running Legend Killer misses! DROPKICK by Furlong! Idol with a Punch to the Groin to drop him! Furlong counters into a Back Drop Toehold! SHITBAG SLAMMER!! Both men are down and gasping for every breath. They're up... Furlong hits another Hard Lariat! Idol yanks him by the tights and sends him to the outside. Idol drops to one knee and flexes for the fans, then flips Furlong off on the outside... DOUBLE AXE HANDLE OFF THE APRON!!"

CROWD: "OHHHH!"

SAM: "Both men brawl back and forth on the floor... oh no... JUMPING PILEDRIVER ON THE CONCRETE FLOOR by Furlong on Idol!!!"

CROWD: "BOOOO!!"

ABE: "He's trying to kill him!"

SAM: "That may be it for Idol as Furlong motions for the ref to toss him the mic. He drives the mic into Idol's face."

FURLONG: "How about that? NOW you ready to say it? Can you even hear me?"

IDOL: "..."

FURLONG: "COME ON! SAY IT!"

SAM: "Idol shoves Furlong off. Furlong rushes back in... SPLIT SECOND DDT ON THE CONCRETE FLOOR!!"

CROWD: "OHHHH!!"

ABE: "Aye Caramba!"

SAM: "Idol leans against the apron, waiting for Furlong to get back up... LEGEND KILLER sends Furlong bouncing into the security fence! Furlong lunges out of desperation, sending Idol into the steel corner post! He hooks Idol from behind... ORIGINAL BACK SUPLEX ON THE FLOOR!! That may be the end of Rick Idol!!"

CROWD: "OHHHH!!!"

SAM: "Furlong is reaching under the ring... HE'S GOT A BARBED WIRE BAT!! He takes aim and swings... IDOL DUCKS IT! SPLIT SECOND DDT ON THE FLOOR!! Now IDOL has the bat... HOME RUN SWING connects on Furlong!"

ABE: "Some lucky fan in the third row is taking home the head of Jack Furlong as a souvenir!"

SAM: "Furlong saves himself from another hit with a Punch Rush! He has Idol from behind... HIGH ANGLE GERMAN SUPLEX ON THE FLOOR!!"

CROWD: "OOOOHHHHHH!!!"

SAM: "Furlong sends him flying into the security railing before sliding back into the ring for a breather. Idol gets to his feet out of sheer determination... he's looking under the apron... HE'S GOT A CHAIR!"

ABE: "AAAAGGGH!!!! DUCK AND COVER!! DUCK AND COVER!!!"

SAM: "Furlong waves him on, nearly jumping out of his boots in anticipation! Idol slides into the ring and takes a running swing... Furlong dodges it... Idol throws the chair to the mat and forces Furlong into position... he's got Furlong on his shoulders... GOLDEN FLOWSION ONTO THE STEEL CHAIR!!!"

CROWD: "EFW! EFW! EFW!"

ABE: "Furlong may have a concussion now!"

SAM: "BACK BRAIN LEGEND KILLER!! Furlong is still standing! LEGEND KILLER floors him! Idol goes for the mic once again... Furlong somehow whips him into the corner and follows in... he's going for the Superplex again... will he pull it off this time... he's doing it... SUPERPLEX... IDOL LANDED ON THE STEEL CHAIR!!!"

CROWD: "EFW! EFW! EFW!"

ABE: "Uhm... OW!"

SAM: "Furlong waits until Idol is halfway to his feet then just LAYS into him with the Punch Rush! He's got him hooked... Idol reverses into the Keylock once again!! Stu's holding the mic!"

FURLONG: "I'M NOT QUITTING, YOU SON OF A BITCH!!'

STU: "Come on, Jack, this has got to end!"

FURLONG: "THEN ASK HIM, MOTHERFUCKER!"

IDOL: "I got all night, Jack!"

SAM: "Furlong literally fights his way out of the hold and gets control of Idol... he whips him to the ropes and hits another Dropkick! He grabs the mic away from Stu and drops on Idol, driving it into his face once again!"

FURLONG: "YOU SAY IT!"

IDOL: "HELL NO!"

FURLONG: "GIVE UP! GIVE UP! GIVE UP, DAMN YOU!"

IDOL: "THAT TICKLES, DO IT AGAIN!"

SAM: "Furlong stands up and waits for Idol... Punch Rush with the microphone! He goes behind on Idol... Original Back Suplex! Both men down again... IDOL HOPS UP!"

ABE: "WHAT THE HELL?"

SAM: "I don't know how, but Idol just absorbed the pain from that move and is on fire! He hauls Furlong off the mat and forces him into position... GOLDEN FLOWSION!!! He's waiting for Furlong to get up... Double Leg Tackle... Furlong slips out of it and applies a Backmount... VICIOUS Forearm Smashes to the neck by Furlong! Stu has the mic and is asking Idol, but he refuses to give. Furlong has him trapped and continues to drive that Forearm hard into Idol's neck! Wait, what's going on? Someone just threw a towel in the ring! Who... it's NOMAD!"

ABE: "Oh you PUSSY! Get him out of here!"

SAM: "Nomad has thrown in the towel for Idol out of concern for his partner's well-being! Stu is calling for the bell... is it over?"

(Furlong's music begins to play and he finally let's up, standing up and raising his arms high. The crowd boos and begins throwing things at the ring. Stu goes up to him and raises his arm, but Furlong snatches it away and shoves Stu down, continuing to celebrate on his own. Nomad is in the ring now and checking on Idol, who just shoves him away, shooting an angry glare at him.)

LARRY: "Ladies and gentleman, here is your winner..."

RED DOG: "HOLD IT! Stop it, stop it!"

ABE: "NOW what?"

RED DOG: "Nomad, while I sympathize with your concern for your partner, you know as well as everyone else that this is an 'I Quit' match, not a 'Throw in the Towel' match. That means the only way to win is by making your opponent to say 'I Quit'. That hasn't happened yet, so this match is NOT over."

ABE: "YES!"

SAM: "Furlong isn't happy about that, and neither is Nomad, who is trying to talk some sense into his partner but isn't having any luck. Furlong grabs Red Dog and screams into his face, but Red Dog just shoves him away and tells Stu to ring the bell. This one's going to be restarted whether anybody likes it or not!"

ABE: "Thank God... or is it 'Thank Dog'? Bah!"

SAM: "Nomad is arguing with Red Dog as he leads him away from the ring, but Red Dog is having none of it. Meanwhile, this match is back underway and the fans are laying into Furlong thick. He and Idol are all over each other trying to get an advantage. Furlong rams his face into the corner... Idol turns it around and rams FURLONG'S face into the corner... he's sitting him on the top rope backwards... he's lowering him into a backbreaker... BURNING HAMMER!!"

CROWD: "HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!"

ABE: "That's Weehawk's move, what the hell??"

SAM: "We haven't seen that move from Idol in a long time, I believe he calls it 'The Star Destroyer'! Furlong answers with a Jumping Piledriver! He pulls Idol up... GROIN UPPERCUT catches Furlong off-guard!"

ABE: *Hits the bell*

SAM: "Abe! Idol is stomping the hell out of Furlong! And there's a Snap Suplex! Furlong comes back with a Shoulderbreaker and a Stomp to the Groin!"

ABE: *Hits the Bell*

SAM: "... Furlong measures him and takes his head off with a Hard Lariat! And another Stomp to the Groin... Abe, touch that bell and you'll regret it. Hard Punch to the gut by Idol. LEGEND KILLER! Idol picks him up but Furlong catches him with a surprise Side Russian Legsweep! Furlong goes for the Shitbag Slammer... MULE KICK by Idol to block... I'm warning you Abe!"

ABE: "What?"

SAM: "Good. Furlong scoops Idol up and hits the Shoulderbreaker... he holds on to it and does it a SECOND time! He whips Idol to the ropes... HARD Running Lariat! Furlong hits the ropes again and connets with a Running Fist Drop. Idol whips Furong to the ropes... Running Legend Killer Misses... TRASH COMPACTOR!! Furlong may be on his way to winning this match anyway! Hard Lariat! Idol comes back with a Hard Punch to the gut. Furlong attempts a Back Suplex, but Idol reverses into the Keylock! Stu is asking him!"

STU: "What do you say, Jack?"

FURLONG: "No... FUCKING... WAY!!"

SAM: "Furlong's arm has got to be screaming at this point, but he's fighting through the pain! Furlong fights out of the hold and throws a Hard Punch... Idol absorbs it and whips Furlong to the ropes... Hard Punch on the rebound! Idol grabs him from behind... Furlong reverses into a Back Drop Toehold and climbs the turnbuckle... DIVING FIST DROP to the small of Idol's back! Both men slow to get up... Idol somehow forces Furlong up onto his shoulder... GOLDEN FLOWSION! He leans against the ropes as Furlong gets to his feet... LEGEND KILLER! Both men are down and struggling to get up. Idol is up and goes for Furlong... Furlong whips him into the turnbuckle... RUNNING DROPKICK and Idol's skull bounces off the top turnbuckle, sending him flying forward to the mat face-first. Furlong hooks his arms and turns him over... the Sit Out Stocks! The Reverse Full Nelson has been applied and Stu is checking Idol!"

STU: "What do you say, Idol?"

IDOL: "NO!"

FURLONG: "SAY IT, DAMMIT!"

IDOL: "..."

STU: "Idol?"

SAM: "Idol's fighting, but there's no way out of the hold! He's trying to reach the ropes but it's just out of reach of his feet."

FURLONG: "COME ON, DAMMIT!"

STU: "Rick? Rick?"

IDOL: "...I Quit..."

ABE: "WHAT?!"

SAM: "He said it! Furlong is refusing to release the hold, but Stu is in there trying to break him off. Furlong finally lets go... he's collapsed to the mat! After wrestling for nearly an hour straight, Furlong's body gives out on him."

RESULT:
"The Human Wrecking Ball" Jack Furlong d. "The ICON" Rick Idol via Submission (Sit Out Stocks) in 51:02

Experience
Jack Furlong	- +3 (Win)
	- +2 exp (Performance Bonus)
Rick Idol	- +1 exp.
	- +2 exp (Performance Bonus)

ABE: "Vermin and Tyrant have got to be sitting in the back smiling right now. Furlong and Idol practically just shortened their chances of winning by about 75%!"

SAM: "Furlong will get the win here, but at what cost? Nomad has come back out with the EMTs and it looks like Idol and Furlong are going to need them. This may go down as one of the most brutal matches in EFW history."

ABE: "At least until Armageddon!"

SAM: "Who will walk away World Champion at Armageddon? We'll see you there folks! This is Sam Michaels for 'Odd' Abe saying, GOODNIGHT!"