| EFW MAYHEM
SPECIAL LIGHT-HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP TOURNAMENT ROUND 1 FROM THE EFW ARENA IN GLASGOW, SCOTLAND |
The crowd is on their feet and screaming their heads off as the fireworks go off and the EFW theme plays over the speakers. Larry Wunarrme is standing in the ring, smiling at the excitement of the fans. The camera switches to the announcer's position where Sam Michaels and "Odd" Abe sit. Abe is wearing a bright yellow Pimp hat with a purple feather sticking out of the side along with neon orange sunglasses and a Miami Vice style white jacket. Sam is dressed in his usual standard suit. SAM: "Hello EFW fans and welcome to a special presentation of Extreme Firepro Wrestling! I'm Sam Michaels, and with me as usual is..." ABE: "...your HOST, the 1969 Olympic Gold Medalist for wrestling, "Odd" Abe! Though I don't know WHY I'm here." SAM: "What do you mean?" ABE: "Well, my job is listed as a 'Wrestling Color Commentator', but there isn't going to BE any wrestling tonight!" SAM: "Oh, not this again..." ABE: "These scrawny little midgets want to come out here and try to hide from the REAL competitors in the EFW by making their own little division and title, but they're not fooling me! They can't hack it in the big leagues, so they're forming their own little league!" SAM: "Just ignore him folks. Tonight you're going to see the first round of the EFW Light-heavyweight Tournament to crown a NEW EFW Light-heavyweight Champion! Athletes from across the globe, some even defecting from competing organizations, have flocked to the EFW for a chance at winning the brand new title!" ABE: "Which doesn't mean JACK because the only guy worthy of holding the belt is being SHAFTED!" SAM: "Rules are rules, Abe. Bane already has a singles title, so he's unable to compete for this one." ABE: "But... but he shouldn't even HAVE the Perdition title! He's meant to be recognized as the greatest wrestler alive, not the most brutal!" SAM: "We're getting off the subject here, folks. We will be seeing the debuts of SIX new EFW wrestlers tonight set to make their mark in the history books as well as graduates from the EFW Dojo and a few veterans. There will be NO commercial breaks, and each match is being brought to you in it's entirety!" SAM: "As you can see on your screen we've got 16 hungry men in this tournament, but only 8 of them will be moving on to Round 2. The following rounds of the tournament will be held over the next several weeks on Massacre, leading right into Armageddon 4 for the finals!" ABE: "Set your snooze alarms, folks. Call me and wake me when it's over." Suddenly, "Feed My Frankenstien" hits the airwaves, bringing the more refined ladies in the crowd to their feet. Bane make his entrance in a white suit with a giant pair of scissors in his hands. The camera shows a red ribbon has been stretched between the guardrails, blocking the passage to the ring SAM: "I guess we couldn't do this without him showing up SOMEWHERE." Bane walks over to the ribbon and grabs a mic from a nearby attendant Bane : "Now, when EFW first called and requested that I be on this show in a non-wrestling capacity, I told them to stick it. Why should I waste my valuable time coming down here and appearing on a show I was originally snubbed from? But then the ratings guys begged and pleaded and cried and threatened suicide until Vermin himself asked me to be here. I can't refuse him, so here I am, but I asked.. nay, I DEMANDED to be allowed to appear the way *I* wanted to appear. Since we don't have time for a song...." The ladies in the crowd let out a collective "Aww...." Bane : "... yes, I know, but since we don't have time for that, I'm going to officially open the tournament!" Bane takes the giant scissors and holds them open over the ribbon. He pauses for some photographs Bane : "Let the tournament of losers BEGIN!!" Bane then cuts the ribbon. He is being roundly booed at this point, which he responds to with bows and blown kisses SAM: "That's finally over. Let's go to Larry Wunarrme for the introductions for our first match!" LARRY: "LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, it is now time for the opening match-up of the EFW Light-heavyweight Tournament!" "Creeping Death" hits the speakers as Jade steps through the curtains, holding them open for Condo to strut out and pose. The entire crowd boos as he takes the "REAL" Light-heavyweight Belt off his shoulder and holds it up in the air for everyone to see. Both of them give Bane dirty looks as he passes by on his way to the back. Bane holds up his hands innocently, but then turns to a fan after Jade passes and makes a 'check out the rack on that one' kind of motion with his hands LARRY: "Introducing first: being led down the aisle by Jade; weighing in at 119 lb. and hailing from 'Every Woman's Most Perverted Fantasy'; he represents the Pantheon and is the self-proclaimed 'REAL' Light-heavyweight Champion of the World... THE 'EXTREME' CONDO WARRIOR!" Condo hands his belt to Jade, slides into the ring and snatches the microphone away from Larry. The crowd boos him religiously as he looks at them all in disgust. CONDO: "There is no 'self-proclaimed' to it... I AM the Real Light Heavweight Champion of the WORLD! And there ain't NO ONE in this farce of a tournament that can prove me wrong! I'm winning this thing, and when I get that worthless souvenir stand foam belt at the end, I'm going to throw it in the trash! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!" "Dare" suddenly hits the speakers and the crowd begins cheering immediately. David Mercury runs through the curtain at top speed, staring at Condo with a stern look on his face. LARRY: "AND HIS OPPONENT: weighing in at 180 lb. and hailing from San Diego, California; representing the Justice League... 'HOT ROD' DAVID MERCURY!!" SAM: "Mercury isn't wasting any time as he slides in the ring and goes right after Condo!" ABE: "I'm not the biggest Justice League fan, but in this case I'll make an exception. KICK HIS ASS, MERCURY!" SAM: "Condo with a chop, but Mercury blocks and goes for a Rolling Solebutt... MISSES, but he wraps on a Headlock... Condo turns it into a Back Suplex! Condo measures him for a punch... and connects with the Knuckle Arrow. Condo tries another punch... Mercury blocks it and drives an elbow into his face! Jacknife Hold for the cover... Condo rolls through and holds on to Mercury's legs... GROIN STOMP!" CROWD: "BOOO!" ABE: "Dammit, if Condo wins this thing I'm going to BOYCOTT!" SAM: "It's not over yet, Abe. Condo goes for a chop, but Mercury catches him with a quick Small Package... Condo is out before 1... and there's the Flair Chop!" CROWD: "WHOOO!" SAM: "You could hear that all over the arena! Condo has really perfected those chops that were made famous by his idol. Mercury surprises him with another Small Package, but Jade has the referee distracted! C'mon, Stu! Mercury releases the hold, confused, leaving himself open for a Groin Uppercut from Condo!" CROWD: "BOOO!" SAM: "Stu Lumpkin is back doing his job now, just in time to see Condo poke Mercury in the eyes! Come on, Stu, at some point you've got to draw a line! Condo with a whip to the ropes... MERCURY REVERSES and bounces off the other side... MISSES with the Satellite Head Scissors and Condo hits a Fist Drop to the head while he's down. Mercury hits an Arm Drag, but Condo is back up with a Chop... and another! Small Package by Mercury... Condo kicks out quickly and there's ANOTHER Flair Chop!" ABE: "This crowd is going to 'whoo' themselves hoarse." SAM: "Condo wraps on a Headlock... and Mercury reverses into a Back Suplex! Mercury picks Condo up and measures him... there's Low Kick to the leg. And another! Condo doesn't want this to continue and whips him to the ropes... FLAIR CHOP on the rebound takes Mercury off his feet! BLATANT Choke by Condo, come on Stu!" ABE: "It figures Condo would face 'Dangerous' David in the first match. God hates me." SAM: "After all the lies you've told in your life it wouldn't surprise me. Low Kick by Mercury and he applies a Headlock... TIGER SPIN! He follows up with a Senton across Condo's back! He picks him up... Condo surprises him with a quick Irish Whip... FLAIR CHOP on the rebound! Mercury's chest is turning red from all these chops! Mercury knocks Condo down and hits another Senton, this time across the chest. Condo snags his ankle while on the mat and stands up, taking him off his feet... he's looking to the crowd and smiling..." ABE: "Ric Flair is rolling in his grave, right now." SAM: "Ric Flair isn't dead, you moron! FIGURE FOUR LEGLOCK is applied by Condo! Mercury quickly escapes the hold, to the frustration of Condo. Mercury tries the Headlock again... once again Condo reverses into a Back Suplex. Condo picks him... GOOD GOD, Machine Gun Flair Chops all over David Mercury's abused chest! MERCURY SHAKES IT OFF! And there's a Machinegun Middlekick to the ribs of Condo! This crowd just came alive!" ABE: "That's it, you fucking pansy, fight back!" SAM: "Senton across the back of Condo! Condo grabs him by the hair and rams him face-first into the turnbuckle... Flair Chop coming up... Mercury catches the arm... IPPONZEI! What a judo throw by Mercury! Both men slow to get up... Condo rams his face into the corner again! He's got him set up again... Flair Chops in the Corner, forcing Mercury to take the full brunt of the damage! Mercury falls face-first to the mat... Fist Drop to the head of Mercury, and there's a Stomp to the back. Condo picks him up... Mercury with a Kangaroo Kick sends Condo flying across the ring!" ABE: "GOD if only that were Bane in there! Condo would have been beaten and pinned minutes ago!" SAM: "I somehow doubt that. Mercury measures Condo on the mat and hits a Low Kick to the shin. He picks Condo up... STONE COLD KILLER!" ABE: "DAMMIT!" SAM: "Condo caught Mercury off guard with his patented set up maneuver for Uncle Condo! But he fails to capitalize... Mercury fights back with Machinegun Middle Kicks. And another Senton across the back! Mercury rams Condo's head into the turnbuckle and backs up, measuring him... MONKEY FLIP sends Condo flying to the middle of the ring! Mercury moves in to follow up... Condo with a DDT drops him! I think that one may have given Mercury a concussion!" ABE: "Good. Stupid idiot deserves one for getting beat up by Condo of all people..." SAM: "Oh shut up. The Ref is checking on Mercury, but Condo stops him. Is that... CONCERN on Condo's face? He's helping Mercury to his feet with a pat on the back... Mercury appears okay, but he's eyeing Condo suspiciously. Can't blame him there... Condo's clapping and pointing to him for the fans... is this a new side of Condo? He's offering a handshake to Mercury, who cautiously accepts it... TRAPPING CRUCIFIX ARMBAR! What a dirty son of a bitch thing to do!" ABE: "MORON! How could you FALL for that?!" SAM: "Mercury is in serious pain, but he refuses to give up! Condo let's go of the hold and whips him to the ropes... ELEVATES him in the air and catches him coming down with a Stone Cold Killer! Condo drops the fist to the head once again. He picks Mercury up... Mercury with a Swinging Neckbreaker! He's still in this! Mercury angrily connects with Low Kick after Low Kick on the downed Condo, doing damage to his leg! Come on David, show this coward how a real wrestler does it!" ABE: "Forget the real wrestler stuff, you suck, but go ahead and kick his ass anyway!" SAM: "Condo is up and Mercury leaps onto his shoulders! Victory Roll coming up... CONDO PLANTS HIM FACE FIRST IN THE MAT! What a reversal! Condo's climbing to the top rope... FIVE AND A HALF STAR FROG SPLASH across the back of Mercury! What impact! Both men are hurt after that one, and they're slow getting to their feet... Mercury with a whip to the corner on Condo! Jade's on the apron now, and Stu moves to keep her out of the ring while Mercury runs in on Condo... GROIN UPPERCUT by Condo halts Mercury!" ABE: "I can't watch anymore..." SAM: "Condo laughs maniacally as he Muscle Poses for Jade over the fallen body of Mercury. He climbs the top rope once again... ANOTHER 5 1/2 Star Frog Splash across the back of Mercury! Condo isn't through yet... he's scooping Mercury up... TOMBSTONE! He picks Mercury up... there's a Crotch Chop to add insult to injury... now he's mocking the semi-conscious Mercury with another hand-shake... there's the Trapping Armbar once again... the ref is checking Mercury... the hand goes down once... twice... thr... NO! Mercury isn't out! He slides out of the hold! Condo can't believe it!" ABE: "I can't believe it!" SAM: "Mercury kicks Condo in the gut and moves him into position... Lyger Bomb coming up... Condo reverses into a Back Body Drop! The crowd disappointed with that one... HE'S LOCKING IT ON!" ABE: "NO!" SAM: "Uncle Condo #2, the cross arm camel clutch, is applied! It's in the center of the ring, there's nowhere for Mercury to go! Stu is checking Mercury... Mercury REFUSES to give in! What intestinal fortitude! He's actually fighting his way out of the hold! Condo is in shock... Mercury has escaped! Condo rushes him, only to get LEVELLED by a Roundhouse Kick from Mercury! MERCURY'S GOING UP TOP! This crowd is ON FIRE as Mercury leaps off... THE STARSCREAMER! Stu drops to make the count! 1... 2... CONDO KICKS OUT!" ABE: "DAMN YOU, YOU SON OF A BITCH!" SAM: "Calm down, Abe! Both men slow to get to their feet... Condo scoops him up... here comes the Tombstone again... Mercury can't take another one of those... WAIT! Mercury is fighting it! Mercury reverses and lands on his feet, lifting Condo into a Tombstone of his own! DROPS Condo onto his head! Condo is dazed as he gets up... Mercury with a Backslide! 1... 2... KICKOUT! Condo is up and pleading with Mercury... here's another Handshake... don't do it..." ABE: "This idiot is falling for it AGAIN?" SAM: "Mercury takes the hand... AND KICKS CONDO IN THE KNEE! Mercury outsmarted Condo! Mercury with another Backslide for the pin! 1... 2... JADE PUT CONDO'S FOOT ON THE ROPE! DAMN HER! This is NOT a handicap match! Someone get her out of there! Mercury reaches over the ropes to swipe at her, but she moves out of the way. That was all the distraction Condo needed to hit another Chop... STONE COLD KILLER drops Mercury to the mat! Both men slowly get to their feet... Condo grabs him from behind... MERCURY WITH A KANGAROO KICK sends Condo flying to the mat... HE'S GOING UP TOP AGAIN! THE STARSCREAMER connects and Stu drops to make the count! 1... 2... KICK OUT!!" ABE: "YOU'RE SHITTING ME!" SAM: "You seem awfully into this Light-heavyweight action to me, Abe." ABE: "I'm awake anytime Condo is getting his ass handed to him! COUNT FASTER, you stiff!" SAM: "I thought it was over for sure, that time. Both men struggle to get to their feet... Mercury moves in... SUPERKICK out of NOWHERE by Condo floor Mercury! Condo is climbing the ropes... he's measuring Mercury as he gets to his feet... FLYING TORNADO DDT drives Mercury's head into the mat!" ABE: "Where in the HELL did that little shit get that kind of agility?" SAM: "It's the first time I've seen him hit it, that's for sure! Condo measures him as he gets up... another Superkick! And he's locking on the Figure Four! This one's over! Mercury's fighting to get to the ropes... he's almost there... he's almost there... HE GOT IT! Condo has to break the hold! Mercury leaps to Condo's shoulders... VICTORY ROLL! Condo may be too close to the ropes here... 1... 2... JADE NAILS HIM THROUGH THE ROPES WITH THE HIGH KICK!" ABE: "That's it, I'm going over there!" SAM: "You sit down! Stu couldn't see the interference from his vantage point, and now Condo grabs the dazed Mercury... STONE COLD KILLER! Condo's heading to the apron now... Spring Board Huracanrana! MERCURY DODGES IT!" ABE: "AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! He fell flat on his ass!" SAM: "Mercury leaps to the top rope and points his fingers to the sky! BIG ELBOW SMASH off the top rope onto Condo! Mercury hooks a leg and Stu makes the count... 1... 2... KICK OUT!" ABE: "NOOOOOOOO!!! THAT LITTLE MOTHER..." SAM: "ABE! Calm down, just call the match. Mercury looks spent in there, but he's fighting on. Solebutt Rush knocks Condo off his feet! Mercury leaps to the top once again and measures Condo as he gets up... DIVING SHOCKWAVE!!" ABE: "YESSS!!! That has to be it!" SAM: "A top rope variation on David Mercury's finisher may have put out Condo's lights for good here! There's the Ipponzei on Condo. Condo comes back with a Tombstone... but Mercury fights his way through it and reverses into a Tombstone of his own! Mercury stands back and motions for Condo to get up! I think this could be it! Condo is up and doesn't know where he is... THE SHOCKWAVE from Mercury and Condo hits the mat like a ton of bricks!" ABE: "WHEW! Thank God that's... WHAT?! DON'T PICK HIM UP, YOU MORON, PIN HIM!!" SAM: "This is a mistake on Mercury's part, when you've got the man down you need to pin him! He's going for the Shockwave again! CONDO DUCKS IT! Mercury is quick to get back to his feet, but walks into a Machinegun Chop! Condo heads to the top rope... 5 1/2 STAR FROG SPLASH for the cover! 1... 2... MERCURY GETS A FOOT ON THE ROPES! Jade is LIVID out there! Condo can't believe it! He's got to be wondering what it's going to take to put Mercury away. And vice versa. STONE COLD KILLER drops Mercury and Condo goes out to the apron... this was a mistake last time... SPRINGBOARD HURACANRANA for the pin on Mercury... 1... 2... MERCURY GRABS THE BOTTOM ROPE!" ABE: "GASP! My heart can't take this! I keep getting flashes of Condo as champion..." SAM: "That's a frightening thought. Condo measures him... Texas Jabs knock Mercury to the mat and Condo goes up top once again... he waits on Mercury to get to his feet... 450 RANA! He calls it the 69'er!" ABE: "KICK OUT DAMN YOU!" SAM: "1... 2... HE GRABS THE ROPES AGAIN! The sheer effort both men have put into the match is wearing them to the point of exhaustion! Mercury hits Machinegun Middle Kicks to drop Condo... LA MAGISTRAL CRADLE! 1... 2... 3!!! Mercury has won it!" ABE: "THANK YOU GOD!" SAM: "Jade is in the ring, furious, but Mercury leaps out of the ring and backs up the ramp, holding his neck. There's a look of determination on his face. You better believe that this man could go all the way! Condo has Stu by the collar, screaming at him, but that was as solid a 3 count as you get!" ABE: "Quit yer bitchin', boy! Take your ass home and weep in your pillow! Ha!" SAM: "David Mercury moves on to the second round to face the winner of the next match!"
SAM: "What an incredible way to start the night, fans! Next we're going to be seeing the debuts of TWO of the EFW's newest acquisitions!" ABE: "Translation: worthless rookies." "Hinotoma Kozo" hits the speakers and moments later Spiro Shinozaki bursts through the curtain, running toward the ring at top speed. LARRY: "Ladies and gentlemen, our next contest is part of the First Round of the EFW Light-heavyweight Championship Tournament! Heading down the aisle: weighing in at 202 lb. and hailing from Nagasaki, Japan... SPIRO SHINOZAKI!!" He slides into the ring under the bottom rope and comes to a stop in kneeling position, hands raised in the air and a smile on his face. The crowd isn't sure what to make of him. He begins bouncing off the ropes, warming himself up as "Secret Agent Man" hits the speakers. Reid Kalahan slides through the curtain, striking a classy pose when he comes to a stop. LARRY: "And his opponent: weighing in at 228 lb. and hailing from Parts Unknown... 'THE PROFESSIONAL' REID KALAHAN!!" Kalahan has a smile on his face as walks to the ring, but his expression betrays nothing of his thoughts. You would think he had done this hundreds of times before instead of this being his debut. ABE: "Who does this guy think he is? James Bond?" SAM: "Well, his background is very mysterious, but my sources tell me that the EFW has footage of him winning some form of Gold Medal in an amateur wrestling contest." ABE: "He probably faked it using tax payers' money." SAM: "Do you even remember the last time you paid taxes? Spiro throws a quick Jab at Kalahan, who quickly blocks it, then leaps away, bouncing back and forth taunting Kalahan. From what I understand, Spiro likes to 'stir up' his opponents." ABE: "Really? That's weird, all I heard was that he was an annoying little sh..." SAM: "ANYWAY, the bell has rung and we are underway. Judo Takedown by Kalahan, who quickly picks Shinozaki up... he misses with the Pounding Lariat, leaving himself open for a Drop Toehold from Spiro. Spiro taunts him some more... Kalahan scoops him up... BODYSLAM OVER THE TOP ROPE TO THE FLOOR!" ABE: "Well, I think he's a bit mad now." SAM: "Spiro wastes no time sliding back into the ring. He bounces off the ropes... Kalahan catches him with a Tilt-a-Whirl Backbreaker! He follows up with a Jumping Elbow Drop to the neck. Kalahan going for a Vertical Suplex now... Shinozaki slips out of it halfway and catches him with a Back Brain Heel Kick! Shinozaki's incredible speed is giving him an advantage here." ABE: "Speed is only good for running away. Eventually, though, you're going to get caught." SAM: "Spiro goes to work with Machinegun Kneelifts to the face of Kalahan. He lifts up his legs... GROIN HEAD-BUTT!" CROWD: "BOOOO!!" ABE: "Hey, he stole my move! I used that on Vladimir Onatopia in the opening round in '68!" SAM: "Shinozaki merely shrugs when Stu Lumpkin chastises him and strikes Kalahan in the jaw with an Uppercut as he gets to his feet. Front Neck Chancre by Kalahan out of nowhere! Shinozaki gets up quickly in shock and gets taken down again with a Side Headlock Takedown! Kalahan with a pair of great amateur moves there... Spiro stops him with a Poke to the Eyes!" CROWD: "BOO!" ABE: "ANOTHER move of mine! I think this Kawasaki kid has been studying my matches!" SAM: "That's 'Shinozaki', Abe. Kalahan is blinded as Spiro strikes with a pair of lightning fast Shoudas. Here comes a Spinning Roundhouse Kick... Kalahan dodges it and whips him to the ropes... Tilt-a-Whirl Backbreaker once again! He picks Spiro up by the hair and points across the ring... One Handed Bulldog crushes Spiro's face into the mat! They trade blows, but Kalahan gets the better of him with a Judo Takedown. Pick up, Kalahan goes for a Rear Waistlock... KANGAROO KICK by Shinozaki and Kalahan goes flying to the mat!" ABE: "How the hell are these guys DOING that? The human body just doesn't move that way!" SAM: "It's called 'agility', champ. Look it up in the dictionary, because I KNOW the highest you've been off the ground is when you stepped on the bottom shelf in the grocery store to reach the Cheez Doodles on the top shelf. ANOTHER Eye Poke by Shinozaki! This youngster seems to like taking shortcuts. Kalahan manages to get a hold of him and sets him up for a Suplex... he really wrenches his arm tight around his neck with this... Vertical Suplex and Spiro hits the mat HARD! That was text book all the way! He locks Spiro in a Front Armlock... Double Armlock Suplex! What an impressive maneuver!" ABE: "Bah, it's just a bunch of wasted motion. A chair shot to the back would have accomplished the same thing in half the time it took to set that up!" SAM: "You really are a piece of work. Kalahan with a Backslide for the pin... Shinozaki puts a foot on the ropes to break the pin! DDT by Spiro plants Kalahan in the mat! Spiro has him by the hair and RAMS him face-first into the turnbuckle... Windpipe Chops in the corner on Kalahan! Kalahan falls forward to the mat... Jumping Elbow Drop to the knee by Spiro! Interesting variation there... Groin Head-butt! The crowd is really not liking his tactics here." ABE: "Too bad, because that's what works! I'm starting to like this kid, myself. He reminds me a lot of me back in the day." SAM: "God, that's a frightening thought. Spiro rams his face into the turnbuckle again... Kalahan comes back and rams Spiro's face into the turnbuckle! There's a little payback. Kalahan backs up, measuring him... RUNNING CLOTHESLINE sandwiches Spiro into the corner! Kalahan Stomps him in the head before locking on a Standing Half-Crab... that's just a brutal hold. He releases... Shinozaki surprises him with a One Handed Bulldog! Both men rise to their feet... Kalahan surprises him with a Jumping Kick to the back of the head! He goes for a Vertical Suplex... Spiro slides out of it... Kalahan Snap Mares him over! He picks him up and measures him... ANOTHER Jumping Kick! He's going to knock Shinozaki loopy if he hits another one of those. Shinozaki grabs him by the tights out of desperation and jerks him out of the ring." ABE: "This kid's already showing some ring smarts. Maybe I should talk to him about possible representation... what the HELL?" SAM: "Spiro just bounced off the oppossite ropes... SOMERSAULT HILO over the top rope to the outside on the unsuspecting Kalahan!" CROWD: "OHHH!" ABE: "Just when I start complementing the kid's brains he goes all lemming on me!" SAM: "Both men are down on the outside as Stu Lumpkin begins his count. Kalahan grabs him and hits a Double Armlock Suplex on the floor! Those mats don't offer THAT much protection, folks! Kalahan picks him back up... RELEASE DRAGON SUPLEX! A move like that on the concrete floor could lead to permanent damage!" CROWD: "HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!" ABE: "!!!" SAM: "Are you okay Abe?" ABE: "Sorry... I just had an Abobo moment, that's all." SAM: "Kalahan is back in the ring, waiting on Spiro, who amazingly enough is getting back in ready to fight! Kalahan hits another Double Armlock Suplex and folds him over for the pin! 1... 2... 3!" ABE: "Uh-uh, he got that shoulder up! I don't know HOW..." SAM: "What? You're right, Stu is saying it was only a 2! That was 2 and 9/10ths, had to be! Kalahan can't believe it, he thought he had it won! He turns around, right into an Uppercut Shouda that knocks him flat on his back! Spiro whips him to the ropes... HOLY JESUS!" ABE: "What in the HELL do you call that?" SAM: "Spiro caught him on the rebound, lifted him onto his shoulders and is now SPINNING like a Top around the ring... and brings Kalahan crashing across his knee with a Backbreaker!" CROWD: "OHHHH!!" SAM: "Spiro is showing that he can get the job done WITHOUT the shortcuts! Kalahan sets him up for a Piledriver... Spiro Back Body Drops him to block! Shinozaki raises his arms and taunts the crowd, drawing some boos. There's the Schoolboy Rollup by Spiro... he's got a handful of tights! 1... 2... Kalahan grabs the bottom rope!! Spiro almost stole one there! Kalahan forces out of the pin, but both men go rolling through the ropes to the floor! Slow to get up... Spiro hooks him for a Suplex... he grapevines the leg... FISHERMAN'S BUSTER ON THE FLOOR!!" CROWD: "HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!" ABE: "YES! I take it back - this kid is NOT one of the talentless scrawny punks in this thing!" SAM: "Shinozaki with an Irish Whip... Kalahan reverses and sends Spiro hard into the barricade! He felt that one, I wager! Kalahan gets back in the ring and takes a breather as Stu continues his count... 10, 11, 12... Spiro is starting to stir... 13... is he gonna make it? He beats the count in at 14! Kalahan moves in, but Spiro beats him to the punch with an Irish Whip... there's that spinning move once again! He brings him crashing across his knee with the Backbreaker, then breaks into a cartwheel, taunting Kalahan to get up!" ABE: "Yeah, this kid's got the right attitude! He just needs some guidance and he could go far..." SAM: "Don't even think about it. Spiro lifts him up and connects with Machinegun Kneelifts to the small of the back... there's a rollup... he's got the tights! 1... 2... 3!!!" ABE: "Alright! Y'know, we're two matches into this thing, and already I'm liking the way things are going! I'm amazed!" CROWD: "BOOO!!" SAM: "Shinozaki quickly slides out of the ring and raises his hands in the air, taunting the crowd as Kalahan is up, trying to tell Stu he had the tights! Stu was at a bad vantage point and couldn't see it, the decision will stand! What a horrible thing to happen here! I'm really disappointed in Shinozaki, especially considering the potential he's shown here." ABE: "Oh boo hoo! The bottom line is he won, and he did it by ANY MEANS NECESSARY! The only way TO do it!" SAM: "Shinozaki grins wide as he backs up the rampway, continuing his celebration. Kalahan looks crestfallen as he exits the ring. You have nothing to be ashamed of, Reid. This was quite a debut for BOTH men, despite the outcome."
SAM: "Spiro Shinozaki now has a date with 'Hot Rod' David Mercury in Round 2 of the tournament, but right now we're continuing on with Round 1." "El Mambo" hits the speakers, drawing a few cheers from the fans and some boos from others. Ohdie slowly makes his way through the curtain - his ribs are taped up and he's obviously favoring them. LARRY: "This next contest is a part of the FIRST ROUND of the EFW Light-heavyweight Tournament! Introducing first: representing THE DOD SQUOD; he weighs in at 180 lb. and hails from Odivia, Bolivia... THE INCREDIBLE OHDIE!!" SAM: "Ohdie's ribs are still feeling the effects of that match with Kirk Adams from Massacre." ABE: "He should have painted a bullseye over that gauze, because it's the same difference. Any self-respecting competitor is going to see those taped ribs and go after them without mercy. Especially this Russian kid." Ohdie holds his side as he climbs the steps and gets in the ring. There is a look of determination on his face despite the pain he is in. "Snap Your Fingers, Snap Your Neck" hits the speakers and the crowd boos unanimously. Alexi Markoff steps through the curtain, arms raised in the air and laughing. LARRY: "And his opponent: weighing in at 227 lb. and hailing from Siberia... "THE SIBERIAN SADIST" ALEXI MARKOFF!!" Alexi continues to laugh as he stands outside the ring, looking at Ohdie and mocking his rib injury. Ohdie just paces, waiting for Alexi to get in the ring. Finally Alexi puts on his business face and slides into the ring. SAM: "This Markoff is an animal. Apparently he was a leg breaker for the Russian Mob in his homeland and takes great pleasure in hurting people. I'll have to agree with you on this one, ABE: Markoff is going to target those ribs like a hawk picking at it's prey." ABE: "Hey, it's a sound strategy. Ohdie is stupid enough to not only come into this match injured, he's also letting everyone KNOW he's injured by wearing the tape." SAM: "And Markoff is dangerous enough as it is." Kirk Adams is suddenly at ringside. He slides into the ring and grabs Markoff from behind, wrapping him up in an Abdominal Stretch, catching him by surprise. He looks at the surprised Ohdie with a smile. ADAMS: "Like this! See?" ABE: "What the hell is this nut doing?" SAM: "It looks like he's trying to give Ohdie a wrestling lesson... literally!" Security begins running out, prompting Adams to quickly release the hold and jump out of the ring, escaping through the crowd. Markoff holds his side and leans against the ropes, yelling angrily in Russian after him. ABE: "This Kirk Adams dances to the beat of his own orchestra." SAM: "He has no business out here in the first place, but at least he didn't go after Ohdie's ribs again. Markoff is still distracted by the pre-match attack, giving Ohdie the opportunity to catch him offguard with an Arm Drag. Alexi is up and Ohdie catches him with a quick Thigh Kick. Ohdie picks up his leg... Spinning Leglock. Ohdie with a Head-butt and he's doing the smart thing, keeping Markoff away from those ribs. Ohdie goes after the leg again with a Spinning Leglock. Alexi's getting frustrated now... he gets caught with another Arm Drag! Spinning Leglock! Ohdie stabs him in the throat with a Throat Thrust." ABE: "He better keep this up, because once this guy gets his first move in it's going to be all downhill." SAM: "Alexi sneaks in a Drop Toehold. Ohdie regains control with a Double Armlock Stretch. MACHINEGUN STOMACH KNEELIFT hits Ohdie right in the ribs to break the hold! Ohdie somehow fights through the pain and slams Alexi's head into the turnbuckle. He's going for a Superplex... Alexi slides out of it and sets him up for a Back Suplex... Ohdie with an Arm Drag reversal to escape! DRAGON SCREW from Ohdie and he's picking his body part: the leg. He whips Alexi into the corner and follows him in... Alexi with a Go Behind... Ohdie reverses into a Bulldog! Ohdie whips him into the opposite turnbuckle and comes charging in... ALEXI MOVES OUT OF THE WAY! Ohdie hits ribs first and Alexi gets another opportunity... Ohdie desperately rams his head into the turnbuckle, but Alexi kicks him in the ribs to knock him down." ABE: "This may be the beginning of the end for this kid." SAM: "Alexi hits a Double Arm Suplex to continue the damage. There's a Drop Toehold... picks him up... Ohdie with a whip to the corner on Alexi... he tries for the Superplex again... his ribs won't support the weight and Alexi slides out of it... Middle Kick to the ribs and Ohdie goes down again! Alexi measures him... JUMPING WHEEL KICK! But Ohdie ducks and Alexi bounces off the ropes landing on the mat!" ABE: "Markoff calls that 'the Sickle', and if he had hit that this one would have been in the books." SAM: "Ohdie with the cover! 1... 2... Markoff puts his foot on the ropes for the break! Ohdie wraps on the Double Armlock again to buy some air time. He whips him to the ropes... Arm Drag on the rebound... Alexi stands up and is immediately Chopped! EYE RAKE from Markoff!" CROWD: "BOOO!!" ABE: "Another one of my moves! These kids must LOVE me!" SAM: "Ohdie has trouble seeing, but he's aware enough to Drop Toehold Alexi to the mat. He picks Alexi up... BACK BRAIN WHEEL KICK! He calls that 'The Sickle Slice'! Ohdie manages to whip him to the ropes... and another Arm Drag on the rebound. Ohdie tries another cover... 1... KICKOUT! Alexi with a Backslide... 1... KICKOUT by Ohdie this time! Alexi with a Twisted Back Suplex drops Ohdie right on his neck!" ABE: "That's going to leave a mark!" SAM: "Alexi goes for it again... Ohdie reverses into an Arm Drag! There's a Chop to Alexi... Alexi spins around and floors him with a Spin Kick to the jaw! He climbs to the top rope... SENTON BOMB to those injured ribs of Ohdie! He whips him HARD ribs first in to the turnbuckle! Ohdie tries to fight back with a series of Rapid Fire Tomahawk Chops... he locks on a Half-Crab to slow down the pace and buy some breathing time... Alexi slips out of it and locks on a Fujiwara Armbar! Ohdie begins to fight his way out of it... THE KGB SPECIAL! Markoff switched gears in a split second and applied his Backroll Front Necklock finisher! Ohdie is in serious pain here, but REFUSES to submit! Alexi breaks the hold in frustration... Ohdie kicks him down and grabs him by the leg... Spinning Leg Lock to try and get back on his gameplan. Ohdie twirls his fingers in the air... is he going to fly? Ohdie leaps in the air and comes down on Markoff's stomach with a Double Foot Stomp! Alexi with a whip to the ropes and bounces off the other side... RUNNING WHEEL KICK!" ABE: "He calls that 'Running With Sickles'... I like this guy's style." SAM: "Markoff with a Kneedrop to the head. He throws a High Kick... Ohdie spins out of the way... Alexi waistlocks him from behind... BIG ROLLING GERMAN SUPLEX sends Ohdie flying and he lands right on those ribs on the mat! He's going for it again... Ohdie clamps on a Headlock to stop him and desperately punches him in the head. He flexes his muscles for the crowd!" ABE: "Don't you mean 'lack' of muscles?" SAM: "Ohdie with another Chop... Alexi rolls with it again and hits the Spin Kick! He rolls over and hooks the leg arrogantly... 1... 2... 3! NO!! Ohdie got a foot on the rope! Alexi can't believe it! Ohdie with a whip to the ropes... Alexi catches himself and throws a Middle Kick to the ribs as Ohdie runs in! Lateral Press for the cover... 1... 2... OHDIE KICKS OUT!! This youngster is a fighter! Ohdie has the leg again... SPINNING TOE HOLHDIE! One of his favorite maneuvers! Alexi is in serious pain... he's pulling himself to the ropes... he got them!" ABE: "How has this guy come to this point? If that were one of the Sickos in there Ohdie would have never gotten out of the ballpark." SAM: "Ohdie with a Huracanrana... 1... 2.. Alexi grabs the ropes to break the pin! Ohdie runs off the ropes... Alexi spins in the air and catches Ohdie with a Sickle Slice! He measures Ohdie as he gets up... Middle Kick to the ribs! Alexi with a German Suplex... he rolls through and makes it a Double German! This one's over... 1... 2... OHDIE BARELY GOT THE SHOULDER UP!!" ABE: "How did he KICK OUT of that?!" SAM: "Ohdie misses a Front Dropkick... Alexi catches him with another Sickle Slice! DOUBLE GERMAN SUPLEX lands Ohdie right in the middle of the ring! 1... 2.. and 3!!" ABE: "Those ribs were hurting him too much to give him any strength to kick out." SAM: "Ohdie fought valiantly, but the Siberian Sadist had every advantage he needed to move on to the second round."
SAM: "Earlier in the evening our cameras caught up to 'The Equalizer' Chris Wren. Let's take you to that footage." Chris Wren, sitting on a bench in the locker room, putting on his boots, and staring straight out at the door to the backstage area. WREN: "Ya know when you open a new jar of peanut butter, and the peanut butter is just so perfectly smooth at the top, and it almost seems unreal just how perfect it seems that you feel bad about ruining it by taking some out of the jar?" He finishes lacing his boots. He continues to look straight out the door - and he's smiling. WREN: "Yeah... it's kinda like that." He walks through the door and the camera cuts back to ringside. "The Distance" begins pumping out of the arena's speakers. Half the arena reaches for their programs as "The Equalizer" Chris Wren steps through the curtain. He stops with his hands on his hips, taking in the scene. Smiling, he mouths "Wow!" as he looks around at the packed arena. A small contingent of fans in the cheaper seats are holding signs that read "Ø > I" Chris points at that section as he starts walking to the ring, the camera swinging around to his back to catch Chris' tattoo, which also reads "Ø > I" LARRY: "It is now time for the next match in Round One of the EFW Light-heavyweight Tournament! Coming down the aisle - weighing in at 222 lb. and hailing from Indianapolis, Indiana; 'THE EQUALIZER' CHRIS WREN!!" Wren is in the ring, leaning against the ropes as he watches the entrance. "Favorite Things" hits the speakers, drawing some cheers from the crowd. Manuel Guzman steps through the curtain, adjusting his gloves as he steps through. LARRY: "And his opponent: weighing in at 193 lb. and hailing from San Antonio, Texas; MANUEL GUZMAN!!" Guzman steps through the ropes and nods to the crowd with a slight smile. Wren suddenly approaches him and stares him in the eye. Guzman returns the stare, and the next thing he sees is Wren's hand extended for a handshake. Guzman raises an eyebrow, but accepts the handshake and the two smile at each other as the bell rings. ABE: "Oh GOD I'm going to be sick..." SAM: "It's nice to see some good sportsmanship in there after being berated by the antics of guys like Condo and Markoff. We're underway, and they both immediately go for kicks - Guzman with a Roundhouse Spin Kick and Wren with a Jumping Solebutt, both missing each other. Guzman with a Knifeedge Chop, then a Leg Trip Takedown. Test of strength... back and forth they're struggling... Guzman wins it with a Drop Toehold. Now Wren with a Knifeedge Chop on Guzman, Guzman chops him back and whips him to the corner... Wren runs up the buckles and backflips off, landing on his feet!" CROWD: "OOOOOH!!" ABE: "What the HECK?" SAM: "The fans are clapping for the showing thus far, and that was an amazing stunt by the Equalizer! They lock up again... Guzman hits another Chop, and a Drop Toehold drives Wren's throat into the bottom rope! Wren is holding his neck as he gets up... Guzman with another Drop Toehold and goes for a Dropkick... MISSES and Wren applies the Japanese Leg Roll Clutch for the pin! Guzman kicks out immediately! Wren whips him to the ropes... SATELLITE HEAD SCISSORS WHIP takes Guzman over! Guzman comes back with a Spinning Neckbreaker, and an Arm Drag as Wren gets up... Guzman with a Jawbreaker drops Wren! He grabs the leg off the mat and hits a Thigh Kick on Wren. Wren is back up, but Guzman takes him back down with a Leg Trip Takedown... into another Thigh Kick. He grabs him and hits another Jawbreaker." ABE: "'SNORE'. Wake me when this is over." SAM: "Guzman with another Chop, and he tackles him to the mat... locks in the Boston Crab! Will Wren give up? He quickly scrambles and grabs the ropes to break the hold! Wren whips Guzman to the ropes... LEAPFROG! What agility... Wren leaps up again but Guzman hits the breaks and hoists him up on his shoulders... SPICY DROP plants Wren face first in the mat! Guzman looks to the crowd... he runs to the corner and springs off... REBOUNDING MOONSAULT!" CROWD: "OHHHHH!!" ABE: "...WHA?! What happened? Did Bo run out?" SAM: "Amazing agility from Guzman! Guzman waits for Wren to get to his feet... JUMPING NECKBREAKER DROP! He measures Wren again as he gets to his feet... SPINNING WHEEL KICK knocks Wren for a loop! Wren with a Drop Toehold to stay in this... Guzman goes behind... he's going for the Guzman Whip... Wren blocks it by falling back on him! He moves in but Guzman takes him back down with a Spinning Neckbreaker. He lifts Wren up... Spinning Wheel Kick! He whips him to the ropes... Wren surprises him with a Cross Body Block! Guzman immediately kicks out... Guzman misses with the Spinning Wheel Kick... Wren misses a Dropkick... Guzman hits the Spinning Neckbreaker again! This is great action, right Abe?" ABE: "ZZZZZzzzzzz...." SAM: "Let's let Abe have his nap. Guzman applies the Dragon Sleeper! Will Wren give up? No, he's holding on... Wren stands up, fighting the hold... he spins around and sets up a Suplex... HE'S HOLDING HIM UP IN THE AIR! He's letting Guzman think about it... FINALLY he Suplexes him to the mat! Wren with a Knifeedge Chop... now an Overhand Chop... Guzman answers with a Chop of his own... Wren slams his head into the turnbuckle... Guzman bounces out with a Jumping Neckbreaker Drop out of nowhere! Guzman has him locked up from behind... THE GUZMAN WHIP!! That Release German Suplex may have knocked Wren out! WHAT?! Wren gets to his feet! Guzman can't believe it! Wren takes the opening and hits a Reverse Neckbreaker Drop. He whips him to the corner... Guzman reverses... Wren runs up and somersaults out OVER Guzman's head, landing behind him... JUMPING NECKBREAKER DROP by Guzman takes Wren's head off!" The crowd is on their feet clapping. ABE: "Zzzzz...WHA?! Is it over? Oh, no... zzzzzzz." SAM: "Guzman shoots in with a Leg Tackle... Wren rolls through turning it into a Huracanrana for the pin! 1... KICK OUT! Both men quickly get to their feet... DIAMOND CUTTER from Wren plants Guzman's jaw in the mat! LA MAGISTRAL CRADLE for the cover! 1... 2... GUZMAN GRABS THE ROPE!! Wren grabs him quickly... PILEDRIVER! Now Wren with a Stomp to the leg... HE SLAPS ON A KATAHA-JIME!! He calls it 'the LCD' and it's his finishing maneuver!" ABE: "Do you mind with the yelling? I'm trying to sleep over here." SAM: "My apologies, Abe. Guzman isn't giving up... he rolls back and puts Wren's shoulders to the mat! Stu drops to make the count but Wren quickly releases the hold! Wren is still in control and sets him up for a Suplex... DELAY SUPLEX again plants Guzman hard in the mat! Wren with a German Suplex... he rolls through and bridges over for the pin! 1... 2... KICKOUT! Wren measures Guzman as he slowly gets to his feet... VICIOUS Kicking combination hits Guzman on nearly every point of his body before knocking his head clean off! Wren waits for him to get to his feet... JUMPING WHEEL KICK levels Guzman! Wren picks him up, but Guzman quickly tosses him outside the ring, giving himself a breather... wait, he's climbing the top rope! DIVING CROSS BODY BLOCK to the floor nails Wren on the outside!" CROWD: "HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!" ABE: "...WHA?! What's going on?! Dammit, is this thing STILL going?!" SAM: "What a move! Both men are out on the floor as Stu administers the Outside Count... they're starting to stir and realize their situation and both men dash to beat the Count in at 10. Guzman kicks Wren down and climbs the turnbuckle again... SOMERSAULT SENTON off the top rope connects right across the chest of Wren! He lifts Wren up and measures him... BIG Knifeedge Chop across the chest of Wren! WREN WITH A SMALL PACKAGE! 1... 2... Guzman has the ropes and it's broken! Guzman with a Schoolboy Rollup... 1... 2... Wren grabs the ropes! Guzman whips him to the ropes... Arm Drag off the rebound. He whips him HARD into the turnbuckles... Wren surprises him with a Small Package! 1... 2... KICKOUT!! Wren sets him up... JUMPING PILEDRIVER drives Guzman's skull into the mat! Wren picks him up... Guzman Snap Mares him over to reverse... he pulls him up and locks on an Abdominal Stretch!" ABE: "Oh you've GOT to be kidding me..." SAM: "He's got it locked in... Wren's fighting to reach the ropes... he's reaching... he's reaching... Guzman pulls him back, holding on to the move and wrenching it in tighter. Wren tries to move again but he's losing steam... the arm's getting lower... lower... it's dropped. Stu checks him... arm drops once... arm drops twice... three times! That's it!" ABE: "I should have stayed asleep... a fucking ABDOMINAL STRETCH finish?!" SAM: "Guzman releases the hold and falls to the mat, and Wren falls as well. The fans are on their feet applauding the effort of both men. What an outstanding match-up!" ABE: "Outstand... IT WAS AN ABDOMINAL STRETCH FINISH! NOBODY loses to that move, what a crock!" SAM: "If you had shown a little respect and WATCHED the match you'd understand, Abe. Both men get to their feet and watch as the crowd gives them a standing ovation. The Referee goes to raise Guzman's hand, but Wren stops him, pushing him aside. He looks Guzman in the eye..." ABE: "That's it, he cheated, slap him across the face! Kick him in the nuts!" SAM: "...and raises Guzman's arm himself! What a show of sportsmanship!" ABE: "UGH! Get them out of here!"
SAM: "Manuel Guzman will now meet Alexi Markoff in the 2nd Round of the tournament at the next Massacre! We're at the halfway point of the action, fans, and already we've witnessed some barn burners!" ABE: "Only because the farmer passed out from boredom and collapsed, knocking over a lantern that STARTED the fire, killing thousands..." SAM: "Abe, what the HELL are you talking about?" ABE: "Oh... leave me alone." "Rio" hits the speakers as Rio steps through the curtain, walking toward the aisle. When the song gets to, "Her name is Rio and she dances in the sand", the crowd begins laughing. Rio stops, a look of exasperation on his face yelling, "No, no, no! It's 'Him'! 'HIM'!", and pointing to himself. LARRY: "It is now time for the next match in the EFW Light-heavyweight Tournament! Introducing first: coming down the aisle; he weighs in at 120 lb. and hails from Creede, Colorado; RIO!!" Rio is in the ring and still trying to explain to the crowd about the song when it cuts off and "You Got Another Thing Comin'" hits. Ashton Adler steps through the curtain with purpose, heading straight for the ring. LARRY: "And his opponent: weighing in at 218 lbs and hailing from Mobile, Alabama; ASHTON ADLER!!" ABE: "What a loon this Rio is." SAM: "The word around the circuit is that he's a talented young performer, though. Adler comes into this with high reccomendations as well. The bell has run and we are underway! Rio with a quick Middle Kick... Adler catches it... Dragon Screw! Rio is up and hits an Arm Drag on Adler. He has Adler by the hair now... RAMS his face into the turnbuckle! He's lifting him up to the turnbuckle... Adler slides out of it, landing behind him... Rio turns around and Axe Kicks him down to the mat!" ABE: "Okay, so he's a loon who can kick..." SAM: "Adler trips him up and quickly locks on an STF... Rio wastes no time in grabbing the ropes. Adler with a Knifeedge Chop on Rio... and there's an Arm Drag. Rio is up and hits an Elbow Stamp, knocking Adler to the mat... STANDING MOONSAULT for the cover.. Adler kicks out immediately. Rio with a Dragon Screw on Adler... he holds on and does it again! There's another Axe Kick to the neck of Adler... he picks him up and goes for a Backslide, but Adler quickly slides out of it." ABE: "I heard this Adler kid was tough, but he's getting schooled by the goofball in blue." SAM: "The match isn't over yet, Abe. Adler hits the Arm Drag again... Rio is up and hits the Elbow Stamp again... Standing Moonsault, but Adler grabs the bottom rope! Rio grabs him, but Adler takes him down with a Leg Spin. Rio with an Axe Kick... La Magistral Cradle for the pin! 1... Adler grabs the ropes! Kick by Rio... Adler catches it... ENZUI-GIRI by Rio nearly takes Adler's head off!" ABE: "Someone in the third row is going to be taking Adler's head home as a souvenir!" SAM: "Rio locks on a Boston Crab, but Adler refuses to quit... he reverses out of it! Rio with a Machinegun Middle Kick to keep Adler down... he drops on top of him and begins beating him in the head with Mounted Punches! Stu is laying the DQ count in on him, but Rio breaks before he reaches 5. Rio throws another Middle Kick... Adler catches it and turns it into a Dragon Screw! Rio whips him to the ropes... Drop Toehold on the rebound. He picks up Adler... Adler takes him down with the Leg Spin. Adler with a Jumping Knee Drop across the neck! Rio is up... HIGH KICK catches Adler in the jaw... ADLER'S STILL STANDING!" ABE: "Holy SHIT! He IS tough!" SAM: "Rio quickly Arm Drags him down and goes to work with the Mount Punch, but you can tell he's beginning to wonder if it's doing any good. He breaks at the 5 count and whips Adler into the turnbuckle... there's a Middle Kick as Adler comes out... Adler takes him down with the Leg Spin once again! Rio is up and goes for the High Kick, but Adler ducks it... Adler throws a Chop but Rio ducks it... STANDING VICTORY ROLL by Rio... 1... KICKOUT!" ABE: "I gotta give it to this Adler kid. He's taking some punishment in there and still going, but being a particularly THICK punching bag doesn't make you any better than a regular punching bag." SAM: "Adler with a Drop Toehold drops Rio's throat on the bottom rope... he locks on the STF! Rio scrambles and manages to grab the bottom rope. Adler lifts him to his feet... Knifeedge Chop to the chest... Rio answers with a Machinegun Middle Kick... and he goes back to the Boston Crab. Adler still refuses to give up... and once again he escapes! Rio misses with an Axe Kick, but catches Adler with a Middle Kick, setting him up for three Kneelifts to the face, and a vicious High Kick to finally knock Adler into the air and down on the mat!" ABE: "Okay, so he's a loon that kicks REALLY well... yikes!" SAM: "Rio with that impressive Standing Moonsault for the cover... 1... 2... KICKOUT! Adler is still in this! Adler whips him to the ropes... SPINNING DROPKICK levels Rio on the rebound! What elevation Adler got there! He picks Rio up... KANGAROO KICK by Rio sends Adler flying back! Rio with a Backslide... 1... 2... KICKOUT! Rio whips him to the ropes... LEAPFROG... he misses with the Satellite Headscissors attempt when Adler Baseball Slides under him... Adler hits the opposite ropes and comes running back... THIS TIME the Satellite Headscissors succeeds, sending Adler twisting in the air. Rio picks him up... MACHINEGUN KNIFEEDGE CHOP by Adler sends Rio falling back into the corner!" ABE: "JESUS! He chopped the HELL out of him... you could hear that out in the parking lot!" SAM: "Adler rams his head into the turnbuckle... Rio rams HIS head into the turnbuckle... Rio sits him up on the top rope... SUPER HURACANRANA!! Adler hit hard in the middle of the ring! Adler is up and dazed... Rio leaps onto his shoulders and rolls forward with a Victory Roll! 1... 2... ADLER BARELY GOT THE SHOULDER UP!! STANDING VICTORY ROLL by Rio! 1... 2... ADLER NARROWLY ESCAPES AGAIN!! That's two nearfalls in a row there for Rio, and he's starting to get frustrated." ABE: "I knew it, the loon has had a good one here, but he's going to fall apart here at the end." SAM: "We'll see... Chop by Adler on Rio... now he has him hooked for a Suplex... BRAINBUSTER!! Good God Almighty, that was a hell of a Brainbuster from Ashton Adler! Adler picks him up... Standing Victory Roll by Rio! 1... 2... ADLER GRABS THE ROPES! Rio can't believe it and picks him up... Adler with a Standing Victory Roll! 1... 2... RIO GRABS THE ROPES! How many close ones are we going to see in this? Rio rams his head into the turnbuckle... Kneelifts to the stomach in the corner on Adler! Adler falls forward, clutching his stomach as Rio climbs the top rope... MAD SPLASH off the top rope lands catches Adler across the back!!" CROWD: "OHHHHH!!" ABE: "Okay, okay, so he's a loon who can kick really, really well and FLY..." SAM: "He calls that the Grande Splash, and it may have just sealed the win for him! Rio with an Elbow Drop across the neck of Adler. He picks him up... Adler's going for the Brainbuster again... NO! Rio drops behind him and leaps on his shoulders for another Victory Roll... 1... 2... 3!! He got him!" ABE: "Great, now we have to put up with this guy in Round 2." Rio immediately bounces up and begins running around the ring, raising his arms in the air in celebration repeatedly. Adler gets up, a look of disbelief on his face as he checks with Stu Lumpkin. SAM: "Adler didn't go down easy, but Rio pulled off the win and will go on to face the winner of the next bout!"
SAM: "This next one is going to be a rematch of sorts from Massacre. And after the performance they put on there, we can expect a great one here." "Ultra Soul" hits the speakers drawing some cheers from the crowd. Sanosuke Imori steps through the curtain and puts his hands on his hips, staring around the arena at all the fans with a smile on his face. LARRY: "It is now time for the next contest in the EFW Light Heavyweight Tournament! Introducing first: heading down the aisle; he weighs in at 209 lb. and hails from Osaka, Japan; SANOSUKE IMORI!!" Imori is in the ring and stretching on the mat as "Amazing Grace" hits the speakers. Imori smiles as Chance O'Daire bursts through the curtain, pumping his fist in the air and yelling some indecipherable Irish cry at the top of his lungs. LARRY: "And his opponent: weighing in at 220 lb. and hailing from Dublin, Ireland; 'LUCKY' CHANCE O'DAIRE!!" Chance steps in the ring with a wide grin on his face. Imori bows respectfully toward him. Chance looks confused for a moment, then walks up, taps Imori on the shoulder and holds his arms out wide and hugs him tightly, slapping him on the back. When he let's go Imori's eyes are wide in shock, but Chance punches him in the arm and gives him the thumb's up and a big grin. ABE: "This guy's just not right..." SAM: "He's certainly enthusiastic. The bell rings and we're underway. Imori lands a Punch, but Chance whips him to the ropes... Dropkick misses and Imori takes him over with a Fireman's Carry... there's another! Drop Toehold by Imori takes Chance down again. Imori with a Waistlock, but Chance Elbows him in the back of the head to drop him. Chance with a Solebutt, but Imori jumps over it, hitting a Spinning Dropkick to the back of Chance's head! There's a Middle Kick and Imori whips him to the ropes... Satellite Headscissors sends Chance flying!" ABE: "This dumb Irishman can't keep up with the little scrawny Jap. It would be funny, if it didn't suck ass to watch." SAM: "You just have no taste, Abe. Imori hits a Solebutt, folding Chance over to the mat... Senton across the back continues the damage! Imori grabs him by the hair and rams his face into the turnbuckle... he's going to lift him up to the top... he can't budge Chance... Chance reverses into a Suplex... he sends him flying over the top rope to the floor!" CROWD: "HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!" SAM: "Imori is back in quickly, but walks right into a Bodyslam from Chance, who immediately applies a Short Arm Scissors to follow up. Imori fights his way out of it, only to get Bodyslammed again. Chance turns him over and locks on a Reverse Crucifix Kneelock... again Imori manages to fight out of it. Chance grabs him from behind... Imori reverses into a Kido Clutch, but they land in the ropes! Imori with an Irish Whip..." ABE: "HA HA HA HA HA! 'IRISH' Whip! HA HA HA HA HA!" SAM: "Oooookayyyyy... Chance just RUNS OVER Imori with a Knee to block the Satellite Headscissors. He locks on the Short Arm Scissors again... Imori fights his way out of it... he locks in the arms... DOUBLE ARMLOCK SUPLEX takes Chance over to the mat! Beautiful Suplex by Imori, there! He locks on the Crossface Chickenwing... Chance stretches his legs towards the ropes... and he got it. Imori whips him to the ropes... Chance bowls him over again and locks on a Half-Crab! Imori refuses to surrender and fights his way out of it. He whips Chance to the ropes and bounces off the other side... Satellite Headscissors takes Chance over... Chance is up quickly, only to eat a Spinning Dropkick from Imori!" ABE: "It's almost too horrible to watch. Hey, who do you think would get hurt worse in a match between Dumb Irish and Dangerous Dan? I'm betting they'd both die of a heart attack before being able to hit a move on each other." SAM: "Will you stop it? Chance comes back with a Reverse Atomic Drop. He picks him up and there's ANOTHER Reverse Atomic Drop! Chance picks him up and measures him... SUPERKICK! Imori took it! Even Chance is impressed with the willpower of this man! Chance Elbows him across the neck to drop him to the mat... Stomp to the knee. He picks Imori up and throws a kick... Imori catches it and drops down into an Achilles Tendon Hold! What a counter! Chance manages to escape, but gets caught with a Solebutt to put him back down on the mat. Imori with a Waistlock, but Chance Elbows him down... picks him up, and Imori reverses into a Leg Spin takedown! Imori picks him up, determined to Suplex him... THE LONGSHOT!! Chance took him down with his Ace Crusher finisher!" ABE: "Heh, this guy has the height AND weight advantage on this kid, and he's having to hit desperation maneuvers to stay in this. What a loser." SAM: "This match isn't over yet... Chance whips him into the turnbuckles and follows in... Imori catches him with a Punch... Double Armlock Suplex on O'Daire! Imori applies an Inverted Figure Four Leglock! Chance is in pain, but refuses to submit... he throws an elbow to the knee of Imori to break the hold. Imori with a Middle Kick and hooks Chance... URANAGE!! He rolls him outside and stands in the middle of the ring to take a breather... Chance hits the floor and IMMEDIATELY slides back in the ring to continue the fight... EXPLODER from Imori!! His finsihing maneuver connected and it may be all but over for Chance!" ABE: "Just cover him already so we can end this nonsense. I want to get home and watch the races." SAM: "You are hopeless. Imori not covering, this could be a mistake... Spinning Dropkick drops O'daire! He picks him up again... Double Armlock Suplex! He goes for a Back Suplex... Chance elbows him in the neck and whips him to the ropes... Imori ducks the Pounding Lariat... Satellite Headscissors catches O'Daire again! Chance comes back quickly with a Headlock and just punches Imori repeatedly in the skull! Chance locks on an Abdominal Stretch... Imori won't give in... he Arm Drags Chance to the mat to escape! There's another Dropkick! EXPLODER!!! AGAIN Imori doesn't go for the cover! He whips Chance to the corner and follows him in... Chance with the Headlock Punches again puts him down. Chance is climbing to the top rope!!" ABE: "What in the hell...?" SAM: "OVER THE RAINBOW!! Somersault Senton off the top rope connects on the back of Imori! Chance put his own body on the line to get back in this thing! He hooks Imori... Jumping Vertical Suplex slams Imori's back into the canvas! Chance has him in the Headlock again... RUNNING BULLDOG!! Chance is on FIRE now! He whips Imori to the ropes... SPINNING DROPKICK!" ABE: "Damn, some payback there... say, you don't think he'll see the tape of this, do you? I mean, I was just KIDDING about the 'dumb' thing..." SAM: "I don't know, Abe. You might want to brush up on your Amateur Wrestling skills just in case. Imori has Chance hooked... FISHERMAN'S SUPLEX for the pin! 1... 2... CHANCE PUTS A FOOT ON THE ROPES!! That was a close one! Fireman's Carry takes Chance over... Imori hooks him... URANAGE!! He tosses Chance to the outside and waits for him to get up... he runs and hits the opposite ropes... TOPE CON HILO hits Chance on the outside!" CROWD: "OHHHHHH!!" SAM: "Imori quickly applies a Crossface Chickenwing on the outside... this is a mistake, you can't get a submission on the floor, and Stu's count is just going to keep going. Imori finally realizes this and lets go, allowing both men to get back in the ring. Imori with a Back Roll Necklock! This could be it for Chance... he's trying to stretch his foot to the ropes... almost... almost... he got it and the hold is broken! Imori with another Uranage... Senton across the back... and another! Double Armlock Suplex and Imori is looking spectacular!" ABE: "It's only spectacular when you've won. Until then he's just wearing himself out tossing the heavier guy around. PIN HIM already, you doofus!" SAM: "Imori applies the Crossface Chickenwing again! Chance is fighting it... he's fighting it... Stu checks him. Arm goes down once... twice... and three times! Imori gets the submission!" ABE: "About damn time... let's get this thing rolling... start sending them out in threes so we can get out of here." SAM: "Will you shut up?" Imori is exhausted from the match, but smiles as Stu raises his hand in victory. Chance comes to and realizes what's happened. He shrugs and walks over to Imori, shaking his hand and giving him the thumbs up before leaving. ABE: "For the LOVE OF GOD stop the pain..." SAM: "Sanosuke Imori will go on to the 2nd Round to face Rio! What a match that's going to be!"
SAM: "Earlier in the evening, Jimmy Hollywood had a chance to speak to Jack Dod about his upcoming match. Let's take you to that footage now." Jimmy is standing with Jack Dod in his locker room. JIMMY: "Jack Dod, how do you feel about your first match here tonight?" JACK: "I feel great! I feel better than great, I feel like I will after I beat Kyle Magnum in the cage! I feel sorry for whoever gets in the ring with me- actually... not that it matters, but who IS my opponent?" JIMMY: "Anarchy." JACK: Oh yes, Jimmy, it's going to be anarchy in there, and we both know who the king of chaos is..." Jack points to himself and mugs for the camera. JACK: "...but who's my first round opponent?" JIMMY: "Anarchy." JACK: "..... Anarchy." JIMMY: "Yes, that's his name." JACK: "His name... is 'Anarchy'..." JIMMY: "That's what the booking sheet says..." JACK: "Hmmm, hippie parents. Probably has a brother named Moonhorse and a sister named Communism...." JIMMY: "Uh, i don't think that that's..." JACK: "It dosen't make a difference, Uncle Doobie's kids or not! Anarchy, if that is your real name, you're about to meet a friend of mine- his name is 'Total Domination', and he has a doggie named 'PAIN'. And we know what man's best friend is, don't we, Jimmy?" JIMMY: "Err... pain?" JACK: "No... a dog. A dog is man's best friend. How did you get this job, Jimmy? A DOG IS MAN'S BEST FRIEND; AND A CERTAIN SOCIOLOGICAL CONCEPT IS ABOUT TO FEEL WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE BEATEN LIKE..." JIMMY: "...a dog!" JACK: "...PAIN!" Jack turns suddenly, and stares at Jimmy like he's a nut and walks off, shaking his head and looking confused. The camera switches to ringside, where "Here (JDmix)" hits the speakers as Jack Dod bursts through the curtain, hands raised high and smiling cockily. LARRY: "Ladies and gentlemen, the EFW Light-heavyweight Tournament now continues! Heading down the aisle: weighing in at 230 lb. and hailing from Buffalo, New York; he represents the Dod Squod... JACK DOD!!" "Anarchy in the UK" hits the speakers. Seconds later Anarchy bursts through the curtain, spouting curses at the crowd as he makes his way to the ring. LARRY: "And his opponent: weighing in at 229 lb. and hailing from London, England; he represents World Disorder... ANARCHY!!" Anarchy steps in the ring, a sneer on his face as he looks at Jack Dod. Stu Lumpkin moves close to both men for pre-match instructions, only to have Anarchy spit in his face. CROWD: "BOOO!" ABE: "Wow! I can't tell you how many times I've wanted to do that!" SAM: "What a bastard! Anarchy comes to the EFW by way of Extreme Rage Wrestling. I've heard some good things about his performances, and lots of bad things about his attitude. And we already know what Jack Dod is capable of, so this one is not going to be pretty." ABE: "Hey, finally a match where the wrestlers aren't going to tongue each other before the bell rings." SAM: "... that's just disgusting. Jack isn't waiting for the bell as he goes for the legs of Anarchy... Anarchy avoids it and drops an Axe Kick across the neck of Jack... Anarchy applies a Reverse Crucifix Kneelock! Jack kicks out of it and whips Anarchy to the ropes... Go-Behind... Anarchy reverses into a Fujiwara Armbar! According to the sheet here he calls that 'The Trashtalker'. Jack escapes with an Eyerake and grabs him by the legs... Groin Head-butt!" ABE: "YES! Finally, a match I can enjoy!" SAM: "The crowd isn't sure who to boo or cheer for here... I think they're going to content themselves by booing both men. Anarchy whips Jack into the turnbuckles and follows him in... he drives Jack's head into the turnbuckle and lifts him up to the top rope... SUPER BELLY TO BELLY SUPLEX sends Jack flying to the middle of the ring!!" CROWD: "OHHHH!" ABE: "Who does he think he is? Bo?" SAM: "High impact maneuver by Anarchy! Anarchy is yelling curses at the crowd as he whips Jack to the corner again... NO, Jack reverses... KNIFEDGE CHOP by Jack as Anarchy comes out of the corner! Jack hooks him up... Vertical Suplex! He grabs him by the hair and rams his head into the turnbuckle... Anarchy hooks him by the arm and runs forward, driving it into the mat! He picks him up, but Jack Elbows him to the mat and locks in a Reverse Indian Deathlock! He lets go... Anarchy hooks him up... Overhead Release Belly to Belly Suplex sends Jack flying!" ABE: "Hell of a match thus far... hey, somebody bring me some popcorn." SAM: "Anarchy applies a Crossface Chickenwing, a move we saw Sanosuke Imori use successfully earlier. Anarchy manages to reach the ropes with his foot to break the hold. Jack sets him up for a Piledriver... Anarchy blocks it and Back Body Drops him over. He grabs the arm... Jumping Armbreaker continues the damage done to Jack's arm. Anarchy locks on a High Angle Boston Crab... Jack scrambles and grabs the bottom rope with both arms." ABE: "Smart move there." SAM: "Jack hits a Spinning Neckbreaker... he's locking on a Texas Cloverleaf... he bridges over for the pin! Barely a 1 count! Anarchy hooks him... Snap Suplexes him to the mat and locks on the Crossface Chickenwing once again, trash talking Jack the whole way. Jack begins to struggle to his feet to break the hold... Anarchy turns into a Jumping Armbreaker! Reverse Crucifix Kneelock by Anarchy! He's switching gears to work on the leg some now... Jack kicks out of it. NORTHERN LIGHT'S SUPLEX by Anarchy... 1... 2... DOD GOT THE FOOT ON THE ROPE! Narrow escape there!" ABE: "*MUNCH MUNCH* He knows where he's at in that ring at all times. *MUNCH MUNCH* Popcorn?" SAM: "No, I'm trying to do my JOB, which is what you should be doing instead of stuffing your face. Jack comes back wiht a Spinning Neckbreaker... and there's the Groin Head-butt! He lifts Anarchy up... SNAP SUPLEX by Anarchy out of nowhere! Anarchy with a Standing Moonsault for the cover... 1... 2... 3!!" ABE: "NO! He got that shoulder up... see?" SAM: "Yes, that's what Stu Lumpkin is saying, but that was as close to a 3 as you can get! Anarchy doesn't like the call but goes back to work, measuring Jack... Jumping Kick to the back of the skull of Jack! He picks him up and grabs him in a Waistlock... Jack reverses with a Go-Behind... MULE KICK by Anarchy catches Jack right in the groin!" ABE: "Reminds me of me... y'know, back in the day..." SAM: "The crowd isn't liking the tactics of EITHER of these men. Anarchy hits the Northern Light's Suplex once again... 1... 2... FOOT ON THE ROPES! Anarchy thinks he's won it, but Stu is telling him no. Jack uses the distraction to his advantage, tackling Anarchy to the mat and locking on a Side Headlock... he stands up with him and whips him to the ropes, then runs to the other side... Running Toe Kick catches Anarchy right in the breadbasket!" ABE: "Vicious move... wait, breadbasket?" SAM: "Jack runs to the ropes... Running Leg Drop across the neck of Anarchy! Jack with a Chop, but Anarchy still forces him down into position... this a Piledriver? JUMPING THUNDERFIRE POWERBOMB!!" CROWD: "OHHHHHH!!!" ABE: "Whoa!" SAM: "Stu drops to count... 1... 2... BARELY GOT THE SHOULDER UP! Anarchy is screaming at the Ref, but the match is still on! Anarchy grabs Jack... Jumping DDT plants Jack's skull in the mat! He whips him to the corner and follows him in... lifts him up top... ANOTHER Super Belly to Belly Suplex!!" CROWD: "OHHHHH!!" ABE: "This kid is pretty good!" SAM: "Anarchy isn't pinning him, this could be a mistake... RELEASE DRAGON SUPLEX on Jack Dod! According to my sheet he calls that 'Chasing the Dragon'... it's one hell of a maneuver! Jack is up, but he doesn't know where he is... JUMPING DDT by Anarchy! Anarchy trash talks him some more as he picks him up... MULE KICK by Dod and Anarchy crumples to the mat! Jack locks on the Reverse Indian Deathlock to buy some air time... Anarchy escapes it and surprises him with another Jumping DDT. Anarchy whips him to the ropes... MISSES the Pounding Clothesline and Jack grabs him for a Dimaond Cutter... Anarchy Elbows him down and locks on the Trashtalker!" ABE: "I don't think Dod's arm can take this..." SAM: "Anarchy wrenches back on it and there's nowhere to go... Jack is saying no... he's saying no... he's trying to fight it... he's nodding! He's giving up! Anarchy is going to win this thing!" ABE: "Wow, I'd almost call this an upset." SAM: "Jack rolls out of the ring, clutching his arm with a grimace of pain as Anarchy celebrates, spouting obscenities at anyone and everyone. Anarchy will go on to face the winner of the final match in Round 1."
After Anarchy leaves, Jack Dod rolls back in the ring, still favoring his arm. He demands a mic from ringside and recieves one. JD : "Ok, hold on! This match never happened! Get him back in the ring!" The crowd boos him loudly. JD stomps the mat in anger JD : "Strike it from the books! Do SOMETHING!! Dammit, I'm owed a FAVOR! You OWE me!! I want what's coming to me!!!" Almost as soon as those words are spoken, Iron Blue Intention screams out over the arena. Vermin comes through the curtain wearing an EFW t-shirt and stalks to the ring. He grabs the mic away from JD Vermin : "With all of the endless whining and carrying on you've been doing in the last week about being owed something, I've come to a conclusion. You brag about injuring Paul Savage, despite the obvious fact that it was *I* who broke his neck in the first place. You dared to speak my name without the preceeding 'Lord', which is required of people like you. You claim I owe you? Thrice you crossed the boundry, but with my busy schedule, I have not had time to respond. Then you commit the ultimate sin; not only do you embaress this federation by losing so badly to someone in their debut match, not only do you hold up this show with a temper tantrum demanding things you haven't earned, but you CALL ME OUT. You're absolutely RIGHT, Dod. I DO owe you. And I'm here to give you exactly what you deserve." As he says the last words, Vermin brings his foot up and kicks JD right in the face, knocking him to the mat. Then he sets him and delivers a 187 POWERBOMB that bounces him off the mat. JD doesn't move immediately Vermin : "Somebody bring out a spatula and scrape this shit off my mat." EMT's eventually come out, but are not needed. JD leaves under his own power, albiet dazed SAM: "This is it folks, the final match of Round 1." ABE: "It's about time!" "Through The Night" hits the speakers, signalling the entrance of Shuji Yagami. He strikes a quick pose on the ramp for the fans before making his way to the ring. LARRY: "The following contest is the FINAL match in the first round of the EFW Light-heavyweight Tournament! Introducing first: weighing in at 198 lb. and hailing from Kyoto, Japan; SHUJI YAGAMI!!" Yagami leap frogs over the top rope and raises his arms in the air to the crowd. "Tsuki No Hana" hits the speakers, signaling the entrance of Andy Kojima. He steps through the curtain, focused on the ring and nothing else. LARRY: "And his opponent: he weighs in at 212 lb. and hails from Ogaki City, Gifu, Japan; ANDY KOJIMA!!" Kojima steps into the ring, locking eyes with Yagami. The two circle each other, looking for an opening as the bell rings. SAM: "From what I understand these two are no strangers to each other. This should be an interesting contest." ABE: "Yeah. You know what my favorite part is going to be?" SAM: "What's that?" ABE: "THE END! Come on you two, get counted out or something!" SAM: "How the hell did I end up partnered with you? I think I had more fun when Jimmy was trying to kill me. Kojima strikes first with a Middle Kick... Yagami catches it and takes him down into an Achilles Tendon Hold! Kojima kicks out of it and takes Yagami down with a Drop Toehold. Yagami gets up quickly, only to get hit with a Middle Kick and another Drop Toehold. Kojima Arm Drags him to the mat... Yagami is up and Bodyslam's him to the mat in frustration." ABE: "Yes! Get angry! Go out and grab a chair and beat him senseless!" SAM: "He'd get disqualified for that!" ABE: "I KNOW! At least it would be OVER!" SAM: "*SIGH* Kojima surprises him with a Drop Toehold... picks him up and whips him to the ropes... SPIN KICK nearly knocks Yagami's head off! Yagami's frustration is mounting now... he catches Kojima with a Straight Shouda. Kojima takes it and throws a quick Machinegun Kneelift to the stomach... Jumping Legdrop to the neck of Yagami! Yagami takes his feet out from under him and trips him to the mat. Kojima takes his feet out from under him before he can capitalize... leaps to his feet and hits another Leg Drop!" ABE: "God, this is going to go forever like the others.... COME ON, at least one of you BITE somebody!" SAM: "Yagami isn't backing down from Kojima's flurry of offense and hits another Bodyslam. Kojima gets back to his feet but is caught with a DDT by Yagami. Yagami scoops him up for a third time... BODYSLAM OVER THE TOP ROPE TO THE FLOOR!!" CROWD: "OHHHH!" ABE: "THERE! Now THAT'S what I'm talking about! Maybe there's some hope for this kid." SAM: "Kojima shakes off the effects of that fall and quickly gets back in the ring. Yagami connects with a Straight Shouda, but Kojima absorbs it, taking the opening to hit a Machinegun Middle Kick. He locks on the Reverse Crucifix Kneelock! Yagami quickly escapes before any major damage can be done. He whips Kojima to the ropes... Satellite Headscissors on the rebound sends Kojima twisting and turning to the mat! Yagami picks him up... Kojima takes him down with a Leg Spin... Yagami's throat hit the bottom rope!" CROWD: "OOOOOH!!" ABE: "Now this is getting interesting. I may see some chairs yet." SAM: "Let's hope not. Kojima rams Yagami's head into the turnbuckle... Yagami turns it around and rams Kojima's head into the turnbuckle... Kojima drops him with a DDT! Now an Arm Drag takes Yagami down once again. Kojima picks him up and lays into his stomach with more Machinegun Kneelifts. This Kojima is quite an accomplished martial artist." ABE: "Yeah, yeah. Too bad this is WRESTLING or I might be more impressed." SAM: "... Anyway, Kojima catches Yagami with a Schoolboy Rollup... 1... 2... Kick Out! Kojima whips him to the ropes... bounces off the other side... SPINNING HEEL KICK decapitates Yagami! Kojima runs to the ropes... Running Double Foot Stomp across the back of Yagami. Kojima hooks the arms... he's going for the Tiger Driver! The sheet says that's one of his favorites... Yagami blocks it with a Back Body Drop, sending Kojima sailing to the floor once again!" CROWD: "OHHHHH!" SAM: "Once again Kojima is able to recover and gets back in the ring. Yagami whips him to the ropes... slides underneath him on the rebound... slides underneath him again and runs to the opposite side... MISSES with the Satellite Headscissors, hitting the mat... Kojima locks on the Reverse Crucifix Kneelock with lightning speed! Yagami is refusing to give up... he manages to break the hold and get to his feet. Yagami with a Kick... Kojima catches it... Yagami turns it into an Enzui-giri!!" CROWD: "OOOOHH!!" ABE: "Instant Concussion!" SAM: "Yagami with a Leg Trip Takedown sets up a Spinning Leglock on Kojima... and another! He picks him up, but Kojima lands a Middle Kick to stun him... there's a series of Kneelifts to the stomach... HIGH KICK levels him! What a combination! Kojima whips him into the corner and follows in... he sits him up on the top rope and climbs after him... SUPER BACK SUPLEX!!" CROWD: "OHHHHH!!!" ABE: "YeeeOW! Both these guys are going to have concussions when this is over!" SAM: "Kojima picks him up and stands behind him, measuring... BACK BRAIN HIGH KICK sends Yagami falling face first to the mat! He picks him up again... HURACANRANA by Yagami! KOJIMA ROLLS THROUGH turning it into a Sunset Flip for the pin! 1... 2... YAGAMI BARELY GOT THE SHOULDER UP!!" The crowd rises to their feet collectively and applauds the sequence. SAM: "Yagami retakes control with a Leg Trip Takedown... he picks him up and measures him... SPINNING DROPKICK catches Kojima in the jaw! He picks him up... Kojima surprises him with a whip to the ropes... RUNNING SPINNING WHEEL KICK takes out Yagami once again! Kojima with a Jacknife Pin for the cover... 1... 2... BARELY GOT THE SHOULDER UP!! Yagami was a half a second away from going home empty handed!" ABE: "Oh COME ON! End it already, one of you!" SAM: "Yagami with another Leg Trip Takedown... he locks on the Crucifix Armbar! Kojima is in pain but refuses to give up... he escapes the hold! Yagami is up... Kojima catches him with a Standing Victory Roll! 1... 2... 3!! Kojima's won it!" ABE: "YES, IT'S OVER!" SAM: "NO, WAIT! Stu Lumpkin is saying Yagami had his foot on the ropes!" ABE: "NO! Come on... you can't reverse your own call, right? That's what I keep hearing from this jackass..." SAM: "Settle down, Abe. This one's going to continue whether you like it or not. Both men are slow to get up... DOUBLE DROPKICK and they both go down!!" CROWD: "OOOOOHH!" SAM: "Both men struggle to their feet again... Yagami takes him over with a Waterwheel Drop! Yagami locks on the Crucifix Armbar once again, but Kojima still refuses to submit. Kojima escapes and Yagami rushes in... DOUBLE HIGH KICK COMBINATION!! Kojima calls that 'the Orochi Blitz' and it's his finishing maneuver!" ABE: "What a shock, a kick is his finisher." SAM: "He picks him up... this could be a mistake... Body Scissors Sleeperhold! Kojima is looking to put Yagami to sleep! Stu is checking his arm... it goes down once... twice... thr... NO! Yagami is still in this! He struggles against the hold... he rolls back and puts Kojima's shoulders to the mat! Kojima releases the hold before a count can be administered! Kojima grabs him from behind... Yagami flips forward and catches him with a Counter Victory Roll for the cover! 1... 2... FOOT ON THE ROPES!!" ABE: "GODDAMMIT!!" SAM: "Kojima is up first and quickly applies an Ankle Hold! Stu is checking Yagami... he's going to give in, he's going to give in... NO, he's reaching for the ropes! He's so close... almost... YES, he got it! The hold is broken and both men scramble to their feet to get the advantage... Waterwheel Drop takes Kojima to the mat hard! Kojima sits up quick... Yagami with a Low Dropkick to the head! He picks him up... Kojima hooks the arms... TIGER DRIVER!! Here it comes... 1... 2... YAGAMI GRABS THE ROPES!!" ABE: "Will you guys STOP THAT! I want to get out of here, already!" SAM: "Kojima drags him away from the ropes this time and hooks the arms again... there won't be any escape this time... BACK BODY DROP by Yagami! Yagami cockily holds his arms in the air, drawing a mixed reaction from the crowd. CRUCIFIX ARMBAR is applies... Kojima shakes his head no when Stu asks him if he's ready to give it up... FOOT ON THE ROPE! Yagami refuses to let go... Stu begins the 5 count and Yagami reluctantly lets go. Yagami hooks him for a Suplex... there's the leg grapevine... FISHERMAN'S BUSTER!!" CROWD: "OHHHHH!!" ABE: "Yep. Concussion city." SAM: "What a MOVE! Yagami goes out to the apron... what's he going to do now? SPRINGBOARD DROPKICK nails Kojima! Yagami picks Kojima up... HURACANRANA for the pin! 1... 2... FOOT ON THE ROPES! Yagami is almost in tears from the frustration. Kojima with a DDT and goes for the Jacknife Pin! 1... 2... KICKOUT! Kojima is on his knees, just staring at Yagami in wonder as he tries to get to his feet once again." ABE: "Scrawny little punks... they're doing this ON PURPOSE! They're just trying to eat up camera time!" SAM: "Oh just shut up, you crybaby. Do your job. Kojima moves in... Yagami grabs his legs and takes him down with another Leg Trip... Yagami is climbing the top rope! MAD SPLASH connects on Kojima!!" CROWD: "OHHHHHH!!" SAM: "Yagami hooks the leg and Stu drops to make the count... 1... 2... 3!! NO!! Stu says he got the shoulder up! That was 2.9 and a half! Both men are showing wear here as they slowly get to their feet. Kojima whips Yagami in to the ropes... RUNNING WHEEL KICK! Yagami struggles to sit up... LOW DROPKICK TO THE HEAD by Kojima and Yagami falls back to the mat! Kojima picks him up... Yagami scoops him up... MICHINOKU DRIVER 2!!!" CROWD: "OOHHHH!!!" SAM: "That's his finishing maneuver! 1... 2... BARELY GOT THE SHOULDER UP!! MY GOD, what resilience both these young lions are showing! Yagami with a DDT on Kojima... Spinning Leglock! That's a good way to take Kojima's primary weapon away from him. Yagami picks him up and measures him... BEAUTIFUL Spinning Dropkick nails Kojima right on the jaw! Now Yagami is measuring him as he gets up... Solebutt Combination! Yagami showing he's no stranger to the martial arts! He picks up Kojima and waistlocks him... KANGAROO KICK by Kojima sends Yagami flying back to the mat! Jacknife Pin for the cover! 1... 2... KICKOUT!!" ABE: "Can't you SEE IT?! I mean, this kid should be out cold after that! They're playing us!" SAM: "One more outburst from you and I'm going to strangle you with my microphone wire! Kojima measures him as he gets up... GOOD LORD! A series of Kicks and Open Handed Strikes all over the body of Yagami... and a Hooked High Kick to the back of the head sends him falling face-first to the mat! Yagami couldn't guard against any of it! Yagami gets to his feet... he doesn't even know where he's at... RUNNING WHEEL KICK by Kojima takes him back down! Kojima picks him up... takes him back down with a Leg Spin. He picks him up again... Yagami elbows him to the mat... STANDING MOONSAULT for the cover! 1... 2... FOOT ON THE ROPES! Kojima grabs him from behind again... COUNTER VICTORY ROLL for the pin! 1... 2... HE GRABS THE BOTTOM ROPE!" ABE: "For the love of..." SAM: "*AHEM*" ABE: "... uhm, yay?" SAM: "Better. Yagami forces him into position for a Piledriver... he underhooks the arms... PYRAMID DRIVER! 1... 2... KICKOUT! Yagami can't believe it and neither can the fans! Hell, I thought it was over! Yagami with a Huracanrana! 1... 2... BARELY GOT THE SHOULDER UP!! Yagami slaps the mat in frustration, yelling at the Referee in Japanese. He hooks Kojima up... FISHERMAN'S BUSTER!! Standing Moonsault for the cover... 1... 2... and 3!!!" ABE: "THANK YOU!" Yagami leaps up from the mat and literally runs up the turnbuckle, holding his hands in the air and screaming in triumph. Kojima sits up off the mat, holding his head and a dazed look on his face. The fans are on their feet, applauding. SAM: "What a matchup! Yagami came back from a series of VICIOUS martial arts combos with a big move to win the match! Now he goes on to face the newcomer, Anarchy, in the 2nd Round! The fans are on their feet showing their appreciation for what they've just witnessed!" ABE: *CLAP CLAP CLAP* "There. See, I'm showing my appreciation, too. Because IT'S FINALLY OVER! WOO HOO! If you'll excuse me, I'm getting the Dell out of Hodge." SAM: "As Abe makes his exit before I KILL him, Yagami is still celebrating his victory in the ring as Kojima makes his way to the back. What a way to close off Round 1!"
SAM: "Well fans, Abe has cleared out, but I'm still here to close out. The 2nd Round is now set in stone: " SAM: "Tune in to Massacre for the first two matches of Round 2! For 'Odd' Abe, this is Sam Michaels saying GOOD NIGHT!" |