EFW Friday Night Massacre
EFW Television Studios
Boston, MA
(The EFW Television
opening is shown, follow by a shot of Jim Biggins and Buck Hammerstien
in the studio at the EFW towers)
MAIN EVENT
TAG TEAM TITLE
MATCH
The Warhounds vs The Wurms
Lion's Den Match
- Light Heavyweight Title
Ring Lord(c) vs Bane
First Blood Match
The Assassin vs Weehawk
CAGE MATCH
Vermin vs The Mangler
Kyosuke Imori vs 'The Extreme' Condo
Warrior
JB : "Welcome to Massacre, fans! We're
mere weeks out from Armageddon 3 and the EFW is hotter than ever!! Let's
cut the crap and get straight to the arena, where 'The ICON' Rick Idol
had something to get off his chest."
(We cut to a shot
of 'The ICON' Rick Idol dragging a referee to the ring and holding a microphone.
After he gets into the ring he speaks into the microphone)
Idol : "DESTRUCTO!
Get out here for our match RIGHT NOW! Referee, ring that bell!
I SAID RING IT!"
(The frightened
ref tells the time keeper to ring the bell)
Idol :"Okay you
ten ton jabrone, you've got to the count of TEN to get down to this ring,
or you will forfeit the match! START COUNTING YOU MAGGOT!!"
(Idol waits in
a corner holding the microphone down as the referee looks toward the back
and counts. When he reaches 10 he calls for the bell and raises Idol's
hand, to the boos from the crowd)
LARRY: The
winner of this bout by FORFEIT... "THE ICON" RICK IDOL!
(Idol raises his
arms in victory and leaves the ring as the fans throw trash at him)
JB : "Vintage Rick Idol."
BH : "No joke."
JB : "Fans, our next match is just like
the rest on our show tonight: a vendetta between two hated rivals. Kyosuke
Imori is looking to avenge the injury of his friend Exodus at the hands
of 'The Extreme' Condo Warrior."
Kyo and Condo didn't even wait for the
intros on this one, they came crawling out of the entrance before the ring
announcer was ready!! Jade followed, looking for a place to strike, but
they were throwing each other all over the isle. Kyo whipped Condo back-first
into the ring apron, then grabbed him by the tights and launched him under
the bottom rope into the ring! Kyo quickly followed and stomped Condo into
the corner. Condo went to the eyes with a rake, then spun Kyo into the
corner and began chopping away at his chest, drawing loud "WHOO's" for
the crowd. Condo raked the eyes again for good measure, then whipped Kyo
across.... but Kyo reversed, sending Condo to the opposite corner!! Condo
slammed hard into the buckle and FLAIR FLIPPED over the top, landing on
the apron and rolling to the floor!!! The fans were going nuts! Jade rushed
over to Condo to help him as the referee started the count. Kyo took one
look at them.... the referee was up to 15.... but Kyo didn't care!! He
ran and hit the opposite ropes, then launched himself over the top in a
RUNNING SOMERSAULT PLANCHA that hit both Condo and Jade!!! The three lay
there in a tangled mess as the referee counted both men out!!!
RESULT:
DRAW via DOUBLE
COR at 2:03
The fight didn't stop there. Condo and
Jade double-teamed Kyo down, Jade nailing him with a stiff ROUNDHOUSE KICK,
then pulling a pair of TABLES from under the ring!!! Condo rolled Kyo in
the ring, but security hen flooded the area and broke the brawl up.
JB : "It is certain nothing was settled
there, Buck!! Those three were still going at it when the security finally
got them backstage!"
BH : "You're right, Jim. I think Condo
was going to attempt that same tombstone manuver that put Exodus in the
hospital. This fued is far from finished."
JB : "Speaking of fueds, our next two matches
feature the ongoing battle between the Sickos on Parade and Team Hellfire.
Assassin challenged Weehawk to a First Blood match and "Ring Lord" Gan
Wuyin challenged Bane to a Lion's Den match."
BH : "I don't know if you call it guts
or stupidity, Jim. Those are Bane and Weehawk's specialties."
Jim : "Let's take you now to those matches:
Weehawk vs Assassin and Gan Wuyin vs Bane.
Weehawk jumped Assassin during his entrance,
slamming his whole bag of weapons over his head and the fight was on!!
Weehawk bashed the bag over Assassin's head several times as he lay on
the ground, then grabbed his arm and dragged him toward the ring. Weehawk
laid a few kicks and stomps in, then whipped Assassin head-first into the
ring steps!! Assassin stumbled up and rolled into the ring, followed by
Weehawk. Weehawk pulled a glass bottle out of his bag, but when he swung
it Assassin blocked the hit, grabbed his arm an nailed a SHORT ARM CLOTHESLINE
that knocked Weehawk hard to the mat!! Assassin took a moment to recover
his senses before laying some serious stomps into his opponent. He then
grabbed the bottle from Weehawk's hand and SMASHED it over the Sicko's
head!! Glass fragments flew everywhere, but Weehawk's mask protected him
from being cut. Assassin tried to gring the broken neck of the bottle into
Weehawk's face, but Weehawk squirmed away and pulled himself to his knees.
Assassin didn't let up. Weehawk was off-balance when Assassin grabbed his
arm and whipped him into the ropes, catching him on the return with a RELEASE
SPINEBUSTER that made Weehawk bounce!! Assassin dropped down to punch Weehawk,
but Hawk quickly brought his knee up into Assassin's groin, then head butted
him, knocking him to the side!! Weehawk quickly crawled over to his bag
to fish for a weapon.... and he pulled out an AXE! Assassin was up behind
Weehawk. Hawk pulled the axe over his head and swung it down hard, but
Assassin sidestepped it! Assassin grabbed Weehawk from that position, hoisted
him up and POWERBOMBED him down... he held on, lifted up and hit a SECOND
POWERBOMB... he lifted up for a third powerbomb, but Weehawk flipped over
and landed behind him!! Weehawk quickly MULE KICKED backwards and hit Assassin
in the groin!! Assassin slowly turned, holding his crotch, and Weehawk
LEVELED him with a ROUNDHOUSE KICK!!! Assassin fell hard to the mat face-first....
and when he rolled over, there was a pool of blood on the mat!!! Weehawk
had bloodied and possibly broken Assassin's nose!!
RESULT:
Weehawk d. Assassin
via drawing first blood at 7:49
The octagon was locked from the outside
and a security contingent was stationed by the door. Bane and Ring Lord
immediately locked up, and Ring Lord swung and ARM DRAGGED Bane down the
the mat!! Bane was up quickly, but ran into the same treatment again, only
this time Ring Lord followed it up by grabbing the downed Bane and GUT
WRENCH SUPLEXING him off the mat, then back down again!! Bane was clearly
dazed, and Ring Lord CLOTHESLINED him down, then repeated the gutwrench
suplex manuver!! Bane backed off in an attempt to regain his bearings,
but Wuyin wouldn't let up. He followed Bane in, pummeled him against the
wall with KNEE STRIKES, then BELLY-TO-BELLY suplexed him over!!! Bane got
to his feet, and Wuyin closed in, throwing a SPINNING BACKFIST... but Bane
somehow CAUGHT the blow, and forced the stunned Wuyin to the mat, locking
on a CRIPPLER CROSSFACE!!! Bane wrenched back hard on the hold, but Wuyin
woulnd't submit!! After a minute, Bane released the hold, pounded a few
elbow shots into Wuyin's neck, and then RE-APPLIED the Crossface!! After
a minute and half or so of this, Bane released the hold. Wuyin would not
submit!! Bane dropped a few elbows across his opponent's neck, then pulled
him to his feet and MACHINE GUN CHOPPED him backwards into the octagon
wall. Wuyin hit the wall and came flying out with a FLYING CROSS
CHOP that sent Bane backwards to the mat!! Wuyin was favoring his neck,
but he pressed the attack! Bane got to his feet, and Wuyin came in fast,
but Bane ducked down and PUNCHED him square in the groin!! Wuyin was stunned.
Bane hooked his head, lifted him high and dropped him head-first to the
mat with the DORY FUNK DEATH DROP!!! Wuyin's already damaged neck took
the brunt of the move. Bane stood up and walked over to the fence, confident
the match was over. The referee counted Wuyin down... 1....2....3....4....5....6....
and then Wuyin sat up, he was not out!! Bane was enraged!! He ran over
to Wuyin, but the champion punched him from the kneeling position!! Again
and again he punched Bane in the midsection... but before he could stand,
Bane reared back and MACHINE GUN CHOPPED Wuyin right in the back of the
neck!! Bane hauled the champion up and dropped him with a SECOND DFDD!!
Bane limped back over to the fence, holding his ribs, but this time the
champion was not moving. The referee called for the bell, and the title
was awarded to Bane!
RESULT:
Bane d. Ring
Lord via knockout at 5:39
NEW LIGHT HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION!!
JB : "There you have it folks, the Sickos
now hold the Light Heavyweight belt for the first time."
BH : "Two more for the Sickos, but will
Team Hellfire take this lying down? I doubt it. Bo Abobo and Weehawk have
yet to answer Black Demon and El Torro Rojo's challenges. Think they're
scared?"
JB : "Who knows? What I do know is that
up next we have Vermin taking on the Mangler in a cage. This match was
caused by Mangler's turning on his partner Bo Abobo last week and attacking
him after their parking lot brawl against Team Hellfire."
Mangler was accompanied to the ring by his new manager, Dewayne. Vermin carried a sledgehammer to the ring and into the cage. Mangler appeared unafraid, but quickly ducked as Vermin swung it like a bat, trying to take Mangler's head off!! Vermin switched the swing and swung it down will all his strength, but Mangler rolled to the side and out of the hammer's path. The force was so that Vermin actually broke a hole in the mat, the hammer was stuck!! Mangler kicked Vermin in the face, then in the back of the knee to ruin his balance and DDT'D the big man to the mat!! Mangler then took the chance to grab the sledgehammer and free it from the mat!! Unable to lift the huge thing over his head, Mangler instead grabbed it by both ends and repeatedly BASHED it over Vermin's back and head!! Mangler quickly went for the cover, but Vermin kicked out on 1, throwing Mangler all the way back to his feet!! Mangler didn't let up on the punishment... reaching into his tights, he pulled out a pair of SPIKED BRASS KNUCKLES and slipped them over his right hand. Vermin got to one knee by the ropes and Mangler was waiting for him, POUNDING him in the forehead with knuckles!! Soon, blood was freely flowing down Vermin's face! Mangler grabbed the back of Vermin's head and RAMMED it into the cage three times.... but Vermin turned and grabbed Mangler by the throat!! Surging to his feet, Vermin wrapped both hands around Mangler's neck and CHOKED him to his knees!! Mangler began punching at Vermin's hands as he turned blue, trying to release the hold. Vermin did just that... he grabbed Mangler's tights with his right hand, throat with his left, pulled him to his feet and TOSSED HIM STRAIGHT UP!!! Mangler crashed head-first into the cage roof, then fell to the mat hard!!! Both men were bleeding now... but Mangler took the low road with an UPPERCUT to the groin when Vermin came over to continue the punishment!! Mangler shook off the cobwebs, grabbed the stunned Vermin by the arm and WHIPPED him into the cage!!!
Dewayne stood outside the ring, facing
the cage... he didn't see Bo Abobo coming down the isle!! Stopping only
to crush out a cigarette, Bo DEPANTS'd Dewayne in front of the whole audience!!
Dewayne turned to look behind him and Bo then T-BONE SUPLEXED him back
into the isle!! Mangler took his eyes off Vermin for a second to see what
was going on outside.... and a second against Vermin is too long. Vermin
came in fast, and when Mangler turned back around, he was knocked clean
out of his boots with the HAMMER OF HATE!!! Mangler's lights had been turned
out by the impact.
RESULT:
Vermin d. Mangler
via CRITICAL! at 6:54
(As much as I hate to admit it, this
match was dead even until the critical ;-)
The brawl had only just begun though, as
Team Hellfire took the chance to get a 4-on-1 beating on Bo as he stood
over Dewayne!!! Vermin screamed at the officials to open the cage door,
but they were having some problems. Bane and Weehawk quickly ran out to
try to even the odds, but it was still 4 on 3 in the isle. Vermin grabbed
his hammer from the mat... reared back and SLAMMED it into the side of
the cage!! The whole cage shook!! Vermin swung again and again, and on
the third strike the entire cage wall broke free of it's joints and fell
off the apron!!! The fans in the front row scattered to avoid being struck
by the falling cage as Vermin jumped down and ran into the melee in the
isle, swinging his hammer!! The brawl continued for a minute or two when
Mangler came running from the ring and jumped on Vermin's back, punching
him in the back of the head!!! Security flooded the area, but the two teams
fought all the way to the back.
JB : "The fued between the Sickos and Team
Hellfire is just getting hotter each week, and now The Mangler is drawn
in!"
BH : "And it is showing no signs of slowing
down as we hit the home stretch for Armageddon 3! "
JB : "Well fans, you'd better go to the
bathroom and grab a snack now, because our next match is the longest match
in the history of the EFW! We expected the Warhounds to have a vicious
brawl with Doom and Nightshade, but no one could have predicted the knock-down,
drag out war that we saw earlier today! Without further ado, here is our
main event: The Warhounds defending the tag team titles against Doom and
Nightshade of the Wurms."
LARRY WUNARMME:
"Ladies and gentlemen, it's time for tonight's MAIN EVENT!"
('Run Like Hell'
blasts across the arena as Doom and Nightshade make their entrance)
LW: "Introducing
first... at a total combined weight of 540 pounds... from parts unknown,
here are DOOM and NIGHTSHADE!!"
(Doom and Nightshade
step between the ropes and take their place in the corner. "South of Heaven"
then blares out, singaling the entrance of the Warhound)
LARRY WUNARMME:
"... and their opponents... at a total combined weight of over 690 pounds...
here are the EFW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS, ONSLAUGHT AND WIDOWMAKER - THE WARHOUNDS!!!!"
Onslaught and Doom started out for their teams, neither holding anything back! Doom led things off punching Onslaught hard in the side of the head and torso, but Onslaught answered back with hammer blows the Doom's face. Neither man gave an inch as they pounded each other mercilessly! Doom eventually gained the upper hand, landing a blow to the temple that stunned Onslaught, then picking him up and SLAMMING him down to the mat! Onslaught was quickly up and when Doom went for another slam, Onslaught just ran through him with a CLOTHESLINE! Doom tried to get to his feet, but Onslaught pulled him up and SLAMMED him down, following up with a FALLING HEADBUTT to Doom's back. Onslaught pulled Doom up to continue the attack, and swung with a lariat that Doom ducked! Doom then HEADBUTTED Onslaught in the back of the skull, which sent him stumbling into the corner... and Nightshade took the cheap shot, clotheslining Onslaught to the mat!! Widowmaker jumped in the ring, and the referee jumped in his way. Doom and Nightshade quickly double-teamed Onslaught, draping his head over the bottom rope with Doom stepping on it and Nightshade punching him from the floor. Widowmaker was eventually forced out and Doom pretended nothing had happened, kicking and stomping Onslaught in the back of the head.
Doom tagged Nightshade in and Shade immediately went for Onslaught's right leg. Being much smaller, he wanted to take the leg out if at all possible. After a few stomps, Nightshade rolled Onslaught over and quickly locked on an UPRIGHT FIGURE-FOUR LEGLOCK!! Onslaught sat straight up in pain and began pounding Nightshade in the chest and head with hammer blows!! Eventually Nightshade slumped backward and the hold was broken. Onslaught limped to the corner, shaking out the kinks, and tagged in Widowmaker!! Widowmaker roared into the ring, pounding Nightshade into the corner!! Widowmaker whipped his dazed opponent into the ropes, and then SHOULDER BLOCKED Shade so hard he bounced off the shoulder like a trampoline!! Nightshade stood up, trying to find his corner, and found a DDT from Widowmaker!! Widowmaker stood, held the longhorn sign high and gave a loud cry of "TEXAS!!" Nightshade made it to his feet, dazed, and Widowmaker went for the finish with the LARIAT FROM HELL, but Nightshade fell straight to the mat and rolled out of the ring to escape utter annihilation.
Widowmaker was angry at this development and went straight out after Nightshade, prompting Doom and Onslaught to join in on the floor!! The referee tried to count both legal men as the Warhounds hit a vicious DOUBLE DEVASTATOR on the floor on Nightshade!! They were pulling him up for another double team when Doom BLASTED Widowmaker over the back of the head with a chair!! Onslaught turned and recieved a shot of his own!! Doom then discarded the chair and rolled Nightshade back in to break the count. Onslaught grabbed the chair and rushed the ring, but the referee blocked him. While the ref was distracted, Doom dragged Nightshade's prone body to the corner. Onslaught jumped down to help Widowmaker and Doom tagged Nightshade's limp hand.
Widowmaker crawled back in the ring and headed for the corner, tagging Onslaught before Doom could stop him!! Onslaught came roaring in, hositing Doom over his head in a huge PRESS SLAM!! Onslaught dropped Doom hard to the mat, then followed up again with a FALLING HEADBUTT!! Onslaught then hit the ropes, ran and BODY SPLASHED Doom for a cover!! 1----2----KICKOUT!! Onslaught punched Doom a few times and dragged him over to the corner. Onslaught climbed to the second buckle... the to the top buckle, then dove off with a DIVING HEADBUTT...... and it CONNECTED!!! Onslaught went for the cover. Nightshade ran in to attempt to break it up, but was met mid-ring with a LARIAT FROM HELL!!! Doom somehow kicked out at 2 and a half as Widowmaker TEXAS STEER BOMBED Nightshade who bounced over the bottom rope to the floor!! The referee forced Widowmaker to the corner and out of the ring, and Doom took his chance for a cheap shot... pulling some sort of object out of his glove, he swung it and it impacted Onslaught right in the EYEHOLE of his mask!!!! Doom tossed the object as Onslaught franticly tore at his mask trying to get to the wound. A good camera shot showed that the object had missed Onslaught's eye, but had caught him just above the eye and blood was flowing freely into his eye and down the front of his mask. Doom's objective accomplished, he pulled the bloody monster to his feet and delivered a series of stiff as hell punches in the corner, working over his head and body.
Doom busted out one of the few wrestling
moves he knows as he VERTICAL SUPLEXED Onslaught over and went for the
cover. 1---2----KICKOUT!! Fatigue was beginning to show on the part of
Doom, who was unused to this length of match. Doom pulled Onslaught up,
but Widowmaker got in a cheap shot of his own by throwing a FOREARM into
Doom's back, knocking him to the mat. Nightshade then made the same mistake
Widowmaker had earlier by jumping in the ring, allowing Widowmaker to kick
and choke Doom in the corner. Onslaught had recovered somewhat and mounted
the turnbuckle while Widowmaker held Doom down. The referee came over to
force Widowmaker out of the ring, and Nightshade took the chance!! Running
over, he shook the top rope and crotched Onslaught on the top!! Doom and
Nightshade turned Onslaught around so his back was to the ring... Nightshade
grabbed his arms and SLAMMED him to the mat with an OUTSIDER'S EDGE FROM
THE TOP!!! Nightshade rolled out as Doom quickly dropped for the cover!!
1----
2!!
KICKOUT BY ONSLAUGHT!!! Somehow the big
man was still going!! Widowmaker had seen enough. Grabbing his bullrope,
he nailed Nightshade with a bell-assisted DOUBLE AXEHANDLE off the apron!!
The two brawled all over the ringside area!! Doom was obviously wondering
what it would take to finish Onslaught off. Pulled the big man to his feet,
Doom delivered his finishing combo, THE FIST OF DOOM, the last hook knocking
Onslaught sideways to the mat. Doom dropped again for the cover.... 1.....2......
ANOTHER KICKOUT by Onslaught!!! Doom was clearly frustrated and tired.
He pulled Onslaught to his feet and whipped him into the corner... but
the blind following charge was a foolish manuver! As soon as Onslaught
hit the buckle, he came roaring out and intercepted the incoming Doom with
a STONEWALL attack that knocked the 300 pound Doom two feet in the air!!
Doom crashed to the mat, almost on his head!! Onslaught jumped and BODY
SPLASHED Doom for the cover!!! 1----
2!!!
KICKOUT BY DOOM!! The audience was really
getting into both teams now, cheering both men for what was probably the
first time in their carrears!! Onslaught and Doom both came to their feet.
Doom threw a punch that staggered Onslaught, Onslaught answered with a
kick to the stomach! Doom threw another punch, Onslaught another kick,
this one knocking Doom to his knees! Onslaught grabbed Doom around the
waist, hauled him up and THUNDER FIRE POWERBOMB WHIPPED him to the canvas!!!
The move didn't have a lot on it, would it be enough!? Onslaught descended
for the cover.... 1-----
2-----
3!!! NO!!! Onslaught wasn't paying attention,
and Doom's foot was on the bottom rope!!! Onslaught pointed high, giving
the sign for the DEVASTATOR!!! Onslaught pulled Doom up, and Doom wouldn't
stop fighting! Doom threw punches into Onslaught's torso, Onslaught tried
to withstand the pain and grabbed Doom around the throat for the DEVASTATOR!!!
Doom knew he'd be finished, so he grabbed Onslaught's mask, trying desperately
to free himself... then he stuck a FINGER into the bloody eyehole!! Onslaught
quickly released the hold in pain... Doom dropped to one knee, then reared
back and SLAMMED a punch into Onslaught knocking him stumbling backwards
into the ropes. When he came back out, Doom mustered every bit of energy
he had left and threw an UPPERCUT that connected with Onslaught's jaw!!
The move was so powerful the fans in the first deck heard it hit, and Doom
actually left the mat an inch throwing it!! Both men crashed to the mat,
Doom's arm draped over Onslaught's chest!!! Widowmaker tried to jump in
the ring, but Nightshade grabbed his legs and held him back!!!
1------
2----
3!!!!! The Wurms had won the titles!!!
RESULT:
Wurms d. Warhounds
via pinfall at 45:36
NEW CHAMPIONS!!
(note: That time is not a typo)
(The referee handed
the belts to Nightshade, who slid in the ring to celebrate as best he could.
A good camera shot showed two of Doom's fingers on his right hand were
sticking out at odd angles... Doom had broken his hand on the last uppercut!
Doom rolled over and Nightshade put his belt over his chest. Widowmaker,
not the best loser, clobbered Nightshade over the back and sent him flipping
forward!! Hannibal Lecter, Abbadon and Atlas quickly made their way to
the ring. Abbadon and Atlas dragged their men free while Hannibal climbed
in the ring. Exhausted, Widowmaker threw a wild punch which Hannibal easily
dodged and returned with an iron gloved fist!! Widowmaker dropped to the
mat next to Onslaught. Hannibal wiped the glove off and left the ring.
Paramedics were brought out for Doom and Onslaught, although Doom was the
only one who was carried out. Atlas carried Nightshade to the back next
to Doom's stretcher. Onslaught was assisted to the back by Widowmaker and
Rick Idol, Idol holding a bandage under his mask)
JB : "The titles are insignifigant next
to the scope of what we just saw, Buck. Sure, the Wurms are the new champs,
but we just witnessed an epic brawl between four men who simply refused
to lose."
BH : "I have to agree with you Jim. This
one is going in the history books for more than just a title change."
JB : "See you next week on Massacre, fans!!
GOODNIGHT!!"
Copyright EFW 2000.