EFW Friday Night Mayhem
The Pepsi Center
Denver, CO
 
 
 

(The arena is once again filled to the rafters with eager EFW fans.  At ringside there is a huge sign being held by 8 fans which reads “IDOL MUST DIE!!!”.  The camera pans around the arena looking at the various Nomad signs, Sicko T-shirts, and foam fingers.  The shot switches to the announcers’ table where “Odd” Abe and Sam Michaels sit)
 
 

SAM:  Welcome to MAYHEM!  The show so good WCW named a PPV after it!  We’ve got a hot one for you tonight fans as there will be a NEW EFW Light Heavyweight Champion crowned in that very ring TONIGHT!  Hello once again, I’m Sam Michaels…
 

ABE:  And I am the HOST of the show and living Olympic wrestling legend, “Odd” Abe!  Tonight one of two men will be walking away with the EFW Light Heavyweight title!  It’s either going to be Bane of the Sickos, or (spits) that little punk Condo.  I don’t have to tell you who I’M rooting for…
 

SAM:  You seem to be forgetting the THIRD man in that match, Ring Lord…
 

ABE:  That’s because he’s easy TO forget.  He’s had a couple of wins, but there’s no way a ROOKIE is walking out with that belt tonight!
 

SAM:  We’ll have to wait and see.  While the ring crew is constructing the cage for our first bout let’s take a quick run down of the card tonight:
 
 
 
 

MAIN EVENT
EFW LIGHT HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP TOURNAMENT FINALS
3 WAY DANCE!
The “Extreme” Condo Warrior v. Bane v. “Ring Lord” Gan Wuyin
 

Destructo v. “The ICON” Rick Idol
 

The Warhounds v. Doom / Nightshade
 

TAILGATER FROM HELL!
No Holds Barred Parking Lot Brawl
Bo Abobo / The Mangler v. “Black Demon” Jim Wuyin / Max “Quake” Powers
 

DEATH MATCH – 5 Minutes Till Detonation!
“Bad News” Tyrone Banks v. Achilles
 
 
 
 

SAM: Let's go down to the ring where Larry Wunarrme is ready to announce our first match of the evening.
 
 
 
 
 
 

ABE:  You know, with all these Death Matches we’re having lately, there should be a TITLE for this sort of thing…
 

SAM:  That’s a valid point, Abe.  There actually IS a belt out there in Limbo, the Hardcore Title.  I think Weehawk was the last one to hold it.
 

ABE:  Oh, no wonder we haven’t heard anything about it.  No one in their right mind would get into a Death Cage with Weehawk…
 

SAM:  The cage is ready, fans, and Larry Wunarrme is ready to make the introductions!
 
 

LARRY:  Ladies and gentlemen, our opening contest for this evening is a special DEATH MATCH!  Surrounding the ring are several boxes of explosives, set to a 5-minute timer.  Should there be no winner decided before the 5 minutes are up, the cage WILL BLOW UP!
 
 

(The crowd cheers loudly at this announcement)
 
 

LARRY:  The match will then continue until either a pinfall or submission decision.  And now, the participants… (‘Keep Their Heads Ringin’ hits the speakers)  Weighing in at 225 lb. and hailing from Chicago, IL… he represents Team Hellfire… “BAD NEWS” Tyrone Banks!
 
 

 (The curtain parts and “Bad News” makes his way to the ring.  Fans aren’t quite sure how to react to him as he yells at various fans on his way to the ring.  He steps through the cage door and paces as ‘Achilles’ hits the speakers)
 
 

LARRY:  And his opponent… being accompanied to the ring by VERMIN… he weighs in at 270 lb. and hails from Somewhere in Time… representing the Sickos on Parade… ACHILLES!!
 
 
 

 (Vermin leads Achilles down the aisle.  Banks is waving at them to come on.  Vermin stares a hole in Banks and smiles his evil grin.  Achilles looks rather angry)
 
 
 

SAM:  What the hell is Vermin doing out here?  He’s got no business here.

ABE:  Are YOU going to tell him he has to go?

SAM:  If I COULD I WOULD.  Achilles is in the cage now and “Bad News” isn’t waiting for the bell!  The ref on the outside shuts the door and signals for the electricity to be turned on.  We’re underway and the timer has been started.  These two have 5 minutes until all Hell breaks loose in there.  These Death Matches are serious business.  And I have to question the wisdom of making your debut in one… in this case BOTH men are having their first match in the EFW here and it could also be their LAST match.  “Bad News” with a Forearm shot to the back… Achilles answers with one of his own… Banks answers with another… as does Achilles!  They’re just trading vicious forearm shots in there!  Achilles gets the upper hand with a big High Angle Body Slam!  He drops a King Kong Knee Drop across Bank’s forehead.  Another slam and Achilles applies a Boston Crab… Banks isn’t about to give up this early in the game and slips out of the hold.  Achilles quick to keep the advantage with a Snap Mare into a Dragon Sleeper.  Banks breaks the hold, but Achilles quickly goes to the legs… a Giant Swing sends Banks halfway across the ring!  Achilles is dizzy after that one… “Bad News” takes the opportunity to deliver a pair of quick knee lifts to the stomach!  Banks follows up with a stomp to the calf and then lifts Achilles to his feet.  Banks with a Forearm across the back of Achilles.  Banks stomps him on the arm!
 

ABE:  Two minutes have gone by already?  These two are just getting warmed up!
 

SAM:  Banks with a Lariat… ducked by Achilles who catches him by surprise with a High Angle Slam.  Another Knee Drop!  He picks Banks up… Banks punches him in the gut and shoves him to the mat… Elbow Drop across the throat!  Achilles up quickly but Banks is on him with a Hammer Punch.  Achilles angry now and delivers another hard Slam.  Banks up quickly this time and drops Achilles with a Body Slam of his own!  Stomp to the leg!  Achilles grabs him by the neck… another vicious Forearm Shot across the back… he’s got Banks by the arm and neck and flips over and is just STRETCHING him!
 

ABE:  Three minutes!  And they’re using REST HOLDS??  Do they WANT to get blown to kingdom come??
 

SAM:  Right now I don’t think they care!  Banks slowly getting to his feet but Achilles refuses to let go of the hold… Achilles turns it into a Hip Throw!  He picks him up and goes behind… Atomic Drop… NO!!  He just threw him across the ring!  Banks landed hard on his derriere there!
 

ABE:  His what?  It looked to me like he landed on his @$$!
 

SAM:  Way to pay attention there, Abe.  Banks is FUMING as he gets up.  Achilles moves in for the kill but Banks slips behind him and WRENCHES the neck with a growl.  Elbow Drop to the neck follows it up.  He’s lifting Achilles up… HE’S BENCH PRESSING ACHILLES ABOVE HIS HEAD!!  What strength from the newcomer!
 

ABE:  Achilles is a big sack of potatoes. That’s impressive!  Four minutes and counting!  Somebody bring me some popcorn!
 

SAM:  Banks back to work on the neck of Achilles.  He picks him up… Achilles lifts him up and tosses him like a rag doll across the ring… he’s locked on an Abdominal Stretch and is adding pressure to the neck by pushing downward!  He’s dragging him to the side of the cage!!
 

ABE:  15 seconds!!!
 

SAM:  Banks Hip Tosses out of it!  Both men trying to gain an advantage as the seconds count down!  5, 4, 3…
 

ABE:  2, 1… !!!!
 
 
 

BOOM!!!!
 
 
 

SAM:  COUGH, COUGH!  I can’t see through the smoke!  What an explosion that was!
 

ABE:  They must have used El Torro Rojo’s Chili recipe!
 

SAM:  The smoke is beginning to clear… everybody’s down!  The ref is rolling around, trying to clear his eyes, and both combatants are on their backs!  Are they out?  NO!!  Both men are slowly getting to their feet!  What endurance!  Both men bleeding profusely!  Achilles lets out a roar as he runs at Banks… Banks kicks him in the gut and lifts him up for a suplex… NO!  He drops him forward with a POWERBOMB!  He calls that the Bad News Buster… the ref is up and goes over to count!  1…. 2…. 3!!  The ref collapses back to the mat!  Banks releases the pin and does the same!  It took all the strength he had left but he got the three count!  Vermin is up on the apron, what….?   HE RIPPED THE CAGE DOOR OFF IT’S HINGES!
 

ABE:  Jesus!  Vermin’s PI$$ED!
 

SAM:  He’s promised Team Hellfire that they’re not getting out of this arena alive tonight!  Here come the other Sickos as Vermin 187 Powerbomb’s the ref!  He’ll get a serious fine for that!  The Sickos have hit the cage and all 5 of them are stomping Tyrone Banks mercilessly!  Weehawk hands his bag to Vermin as Bane and Bo handcuff Banks to the side of the cage!  Vermin is pulling something out of the bag…. IT’S A GASOLINE CAN!  Bane hands Vermin a microphone.
 
 
 

VERMIN:  FOOLS!!! WEAKLINGS!!! Watch now as your friend pays the price for your IMPUDENCE!!!
 
 
 

ABE:  Get out the marshmallows, we’re gonna have a Bar-B-Q!
 

SAM:  Someone get down there!  Vermin’s emptying that can all over Banks!  HERE COMES TEAM HELLFIRE!!  The Sickos are motioning for them to come on but EFW security is hot on their heels to keep the two groups from confronting!  Listen to the fans boo that one!  Team Hellfire is being pushed back as the Sickos are forced out of the ring by Security.  Vermin picks up Achilles and carries him out on his shoulder as the EMTs get in the cage to check on Banks.  This war has only just begun!
 
 
 
 
 

RESULT:
“Bad News” Tyrone Banks d. Achilles by pinfall (5:28)
 
 
 
 
 
 

SAM:  The EMTs are loading up “Bad News” Tyrone Banks and taking him to the nearest hospital.  They tried to take Achilles as well but the Sickos prevented it.  They take care of their own, it seems.  Both teams have been reduced by one now as we head into the next match.  Can Team Hellfire prevent Vermin’s threat from coming to pass?  As if we haven’t seen enough, we’re about to have a “Tailgater from Hell” match in the parking lot!  The war between the Sickos and Team Hellfire continues!  You think things aren’t going to get violent?
 

ABE:  Of COURSE they’re going to get violent!  The only question I have is whether or not Mangler and Bo can work as a cohesive unit against Black Demon and Quake!  Those two certainly aren’t friends.
 
 
 

(The camera switches to the parking lot where a circle of cars has been formed to represent the wrestling area.  “Black Demon” Jim Wuyin and his partner Max “Quake” Powers, both dressed to fight, climb over the hood of one of the cars and stand amidst the cars, waiting.  The Mangler arrives next, coming out of the shadows and slowly climbing onto the roof of a car, roaring to the assembled fans as he waits for his partner.  Finally, a pickup truck comes speeding up to the scene, causing fans to scatter.  On the roof stands Bo Abobo doing his best surfing imitation.  On the side of the truck hangs a banner that reads “Team Hellfire Blows!”  Bo hops down as the other Sickos climb out of the truck.  Bane sets up a table and places a boom box with a microphone attached on top.  Weehawk and Vermin set up a Red Devil Grill as Humphrey pulls a giant cooler to the tailgate of the truck.  Bo meanwhile stands outside the ring of cars and has a staredown with Black Demon and Quake)
 
 
 
 

SAM:  This is going to be a fight!   What are the Sickos doing, having a cook out?
 

ABE:  Excuse me, Sam, I’m going to grab a plate…
 

SAM:  Sit down and do your job… what’s Bane doing?
 
 
 

BANE:  (sits on the table and speaks into the microphone)  Ladies and … well, LADIES… this next match-up is scheduled to end with a very mess bloodbath.  First I’d like to introduce the gentlemen providing security for this match-up… THE WURMS!
 
 
 

SAM:  Oh you have GOT to be kidding me!  Well, there they are folks, led by Hannibal Lecter.
 
 
 

BANE:  Let’s give a hand for the Wurms guys, they do good work!  Now, introducing first, your hero and mine, he is the Master of the Bo-plex and one snappy dresser…. BO ABOBO!   Oh, yeah, and his partner, Mangler.   They’re… *snicker*… “Opponents”…. They come from the local Gay Bar in downtown San Francisco… two lovers with the same mother… “Black Teddy” Jim Wuyin and Max “Quake with Fear” Powers, TEAM HELLFIRE!
 
 
 

SAM:  That’s “Black Demon” and “Quake” for those of you at home who don’t know better.  Bo jumps into the circle and this fight is on!  Powers runs in at Bo… Bo ducks and Heel Kicks him in the back of the head!  Mangler has a SICKLE!  He’s gouging Powers in the face with it… Wuyin breaks that up and hooks Mangler by the waist… Gut Wrench Suplex drops Mangler on his neck!  Bo measures Wuyin and delivers a vicious Punch to the face… he and Mangler have Wuyin hooked… DOUBLE SUPLEX onto the hood of one of the cars!  All four men up now and pairing off to fight.  Mangler has Powers hooked in a choke sleeper as Wuyin picks Bo up in a Gut Wrench Suplex… he drives Bo into the driver’s side door of a car!!
 

ABE:  He can’t do that!  Bo is the suplex master!
 

SAM:  Mangler SLAMS Powers to the concrete as Wuyin blocks a kick from Bo and trips up the other leg.  Somersault Splash by Mangler on Powers as Wuyin rakes Bo’s face with his boot.  Bo grabs Wuyin by the leg and yanks himself to his feet where he Slams Wuyin onto the hood of a car!  Powers delivers a vicious Knee to the gut of Mangler, dropping him to his knees and now he’s going over to Bo… Punches him in the neck  and then kicks him in the back.  Mangler whips Powers into a nearby car and he and Bo grab Wuyin again… this time they Double Suplex him on the pavement!  Wuyin is up… he Body Slams Bo to the pavement as Mangler and Powers are back at each other’s throats.  Wuyin picks up Bo… Bo slips behind him… Back Drop Bo-plex!
 

ABE:  Now THAT’S how you throw a suplex!
 

SAM:  Powers rams Mangler’s head into the hood of a car and goes over to help Wuyin.  DOUBLE DROP KICK by Team Hellfire on Bo sends him hard into a nearby car door!  Powers grabs Mangler from behind for a Reverse DDT Drop… Bo kicks him in the back to prevent the move!  Bo’s got a Screwdriver out of his tool belt and is stabbing Wuyin in the head with it!  Mangler has his Sickle out and is gouging Powers!  Bo and Mangler are laughing at each other as they slice up Team Hellfire!  Powers and Wuyin’s faces are a crimson mask…
 

ABE:  They look like twins now!  Hey, what’s left of Team Hellfire is running out here!  What are they doing here?
 

SAM:  Oh, it’s okay for the Sickos, but Team Hellfire can’t come out to try and keep some order?
 

ABE:  Glad to see you agree with me.
 

SAM:  It’s a moot point as Hannibal and his lackeys are standing in the way.  Mangler gives himself some running room… Running Somersault Splash on the downed Wuyin!  Powers has grabbed Bo by the ankle and tripped him down to the pavement and is now stomping his leg mercilessly.  Bo kicks him away and gets up… BIG Head-butt from Bo drops Powers!  Wuyin has gotten the upper hand on Mangler in the meantime and is backing up… Running Somersault Splash of his own on the Mangler!  Bo is grinding his heel into Powers’ groin as Mangler and Wuyin have gotten onto the roof of one of the cars and are brawling!  Powers throws a right hook.. ducked by Mangler who locks a rear waistlock… CARCASS CRUSH!  That Low Bridge German Suplex is his signature maneuver… the Ref drops to make the count… 1…. 2…. Thr… KICKOUT!!!  Wuyin operating on instinct there!  Powers has Bo in a Wristlock… there’s an Arm Twist and a takedown!  Wuyin signaling something… HE BLEW A FIREBALL AT MANGLER!!!
 
 
 

BANE:  Oh, yeah, speaking of fire, everyone’s favorite cook, Weehawk, has hot dogs and burgers over here.  Only 15 bucks apiece!  Just don’t go after any of the raw ones or Humphrey might bite your hand off.
 
 
 

SAM:  They don’t call him “Black Demon” for nothing!  It’s a good thing for Mangler that he ducked that or he’d be charcoal now!  Bo has Powers in a headlock and is dragging him to one of the cars… Back Brain Heel Kick knocks Powers onto the hood!  Mangler rolls up Wuyin in a cradle… one count only!  Wuyin runs at Mangler… Mangler with a Powerslam!   1… 2 count!  Bo is on the hood of the car with Powers… Powers kicks him in the stomach and Suplexes him off the hood to the pavement!!!  Bo is grimacing after that!  Mangler with a Standing Victory Roll on Wuyin and the ref drops to count again… still only 2!
 

ABE:  What’s up with Mangler?  He asked for a fight, but he’s out there acting like he’s trying to recreate my Olympic win in ’68…
 

SAM:  I thought that was ’67?
 

ABE:  I wrestled both years.
 

SAM:  Right.  Powers moves in on Bo… Bo grabs him by the hair and rams his head through a car window!!!  Powers is on the ground clawing at his face!  Bo pulls out a Claw Hammer and begins raking the claw end across Powers’ face!  Powers is in agony!  Bo locks on a Kataha-jime as Wuyin attempts a Hard Clothesline on Mangler… Mangler ducks but gets caught with an Elbow Thrust to the back!  Wuyin backs up a step and hits a Running Somersault Splash once again.  Powers forces Bo into piledriver position… Bo blocks it and Back Drops him over his shoulder to the pavement!  Mangler tries a Magistral Cradle for the pin… Wuyin kicks out at 2.  Bo is repeatedly driving his knee into the groin of Powers!  Wuyin and Mangler are reversing hold attempt after hold attempt as Bo sets up Powers for a piledriver… NO, it’s a High Angle POWERBOMB onto the pavement!  Bo points to Vermin, and the Sickos are clapping after that move.  Wuyin rams Mangler’s face into the pavement and hits another Running Somersault Splash!   Bo grabs his hammer again and starts tapping Powers on the side of the head!
 

ABE:  Ow!  Can you IMAGINE what that feels like??
 

SAM:  VICTORY ROLL by Mangler on Wuyin… still only 2!  Wuyin is a survivor, let me tell you fans!  Bo and Mangler are on top of another car… isn’t that Buck Hammerstein’s car?
 

ABE:  IT IS!  Oh no, Buck’s gonna have a heart attack!
 

SAM:  Bo lifts Powers up in Vertical Bo-plex position… STEINER SCREWDRIVER through the roof of the car!  “Quake” looks like he’s been THROUGH an earthquake!  Bo rolls off slowly but Powers is motionless in the dent of that hood, only his legs and arms visible.
 

ABE:  Poor Buck.  At least Hannibal is getting a good laugh.
 

SAM:  Wuyin Gut Wrench Suplexes Mangler off the pavement and into the side of another car!  He’s yelling at the Sickos… but doesn’t see Bo coming from behind!  Bo spins him around… T-BONE BO-PLEX THROUGH THE HOOD OF THE CAR!!!  Both men are down after that one!
 

ABE:  Bo’s had it with this thieving loser!  Show him how to throw a suplex!
 

SAM:  Amazingly Powers is still conscious and runs at the still downed Bo Abobo… Falling Head-butt!  Mangler has climbed to the roof of a truck and looks back towards the hood where Wuyin lies… CORKSCREW MOONSAULT ONTO WUYIN!!!  That hood is just folded in!  Ref drops to make the count… 1… 2… KICKOUT!  How did Wuyin kick out of that??  Powers has Bo in a Bow and Arrow submission!  Mangler kicks him in the head and performs a Victory Roll… only a 2 count for Powers!  Demon and Quake are taking a beating but they won’t stay down!  All four men are brawling now… Wuyin eyerakes Mangler… Powers with a Wristlock takedown on Bo… Mangler and Wuyin have found their way onto another car… MANGLER WITH A MICHINOKU DRIVER ON THE HOOD!  Ref makes the count… 1… 2… HE KICKS OUT AGAIN!!!  Both Mangler and Wuyin are down! Powers picks Bo up.. Bo locks his arms behind his back… THROWING GERMAN BO-PLEX sends Powers flying onto the pavement!  Bo straddling him and just PUNCHING him in the face repeatedly… Powers is helpless!  The Ref is checking Powers… there’s no response, he’s out… that’s it!  Powers can’t continue!
 
 
 

RESULT:
Bo Abobo / Mangler d. Team Hellfire by submission (8:22)
 
 
 

SAM:  Bo’s not stopping!  The ref is trying to pull Bo off… the Sickos are jumping into the circle!  Look out Ref… Vermin just tossed the Ref OVER a car and out of the circle!  Team Hellfire has pushed past the Wurms and are in the circle and we’ve got a WAR here folks!  Vermin goes over to the wrecked car where Black Demon and Mangler are still lying… he’s climbing up?  He’s picking up Wuyin… 187!!!  Vermin just powerbombed Jim Wuyin to the pavement from the hood of that car!  Gan Wuyin and the Assassin are just outnumbered against Weehawk, Bane, and Humphrey… El Torro Rojo is out to even the odds!  Bo is STILL down and punching Powers!  He’s going to need medical attention!  Mangler is up and it looks like he’s going to get a piece of Powers before Bo kills him.  He’s got his sickle pulled out… HE JUST HIT BO OVER THE HEAD WITH IT!  He’s just pounding on Bo now!
 

ABE:  What the Hell???
 

SAM:  Vermin is busy dousing Jim Wuyin with gasoline!  He’s going to set him on fire!  The other Sickos are too busy with Team Hellfire and El Torro Rojo to notice! Bane and Gan Wuyin have tumbled out of the circle and are brawling away from the area.  Those two still have a match tonight!  Weehawk pulls something out of his bag… a barbed wire baseball bat!  He cracks it over the Assassin’s back, dropping the masked man!  Humphrey just bit Torro in the ankle!  Torro bends over… Humphrey grabs him and Piledrives him onto the cement!  Torro and the Assassin are down!  Mangler has the shocked Bo up by the seat of his pants… he rammed his head through a car window!  Bo stumbles backward in a daze right into Mangler… CARCASS CRUSH on the PAVEMENT!  Bo is OUT!  Mangler gives a quick stomp to Bo and Vermin finally sees what’s going on!  He moves to go after him but Mangler makes a quick retreat back into the shadows.  Vermin is FUMING now as he goes back over to Wuyin… he’s got a lighter out!  NO!  DON’T DO IT!  Thank God we’ve got some security out here to help out Team Hellfire, but the damage is already done.
 

ABE:  Almost had a weenie roast there.
 

SAM:  Vermin picks up Bo much like he picked up Achilles earlier and walks back to the truck.  The Sickos laugh as they all hop back into their truck and drive back toward the arena.  This is sickening!
 

ABE:  Hey, someone bring me one of those burgers!
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

(The camera switches to the announce table where Sam and Abe sit)
 
 
 

SAM:  Word from the back is coming in… it looks like Jim Wuyin, Max Powers, and the Assassin all need to be rushed to the Hospital.  Wuyin especially has serious injuries resulting from that 187 off the car.  Powers’s face was like one giant bruise there at the end.  El Torro Rojo seems to be okay, but he’s got to be angry.  The Sickos still refuse to let any medics in to look at Bo or Achilles, but I doubt they’re in much better shape.  Hopefully we’ll get an update during “AFTERMATH” on the condition of Team Hellfire, but the immediate story is that “Ring Lord” Gan Wuyin is walking ALONE right now.
 

ABE:  The Sickos might be barred from ringside in the main event, but there’s still two matches before then.  I don’t think  “Ring Lord” is going to make it!
 

SAM:  We’ve got more tag action coming up folks, let’s go down to Larry for the introductions.
 
 
 

LARRY:  The next Non-Title Tag Team match is scheduled for one fall.  (‘Run Like Hell’ hits the speakers and the arena darkens as animated marching hammers appear on the Big Screen) Introducing first… they represent the Wurms… DOOM AND NIGHTSHADE!!
 
 
 

 (A spotlight falls on the aisle as Doom and Nightshade slowly walk to the ring.  The fans are booing loudly but they pay them no heed.  They step through the ropes and stand in the center of the ring and look toward the curtain.  The lights come back on and ‘South of Heaven’ hits the speakers)
 
 
 

LARRY:  And their opponents… they weigh in at a combined weight of 693 lb. … they represent the Pantheon and are the EFW World Tag Team Champions… Onslaught and Widowmaker… THE WARHOUNDS!!
 
 
 

(The curtains explode out as the Warhounds storm the aisle.  Widowmaker throws up the Texas Longhorn and gives a yell to the crowd as they march quickly to the ring.  They toss the Tag Team Belts at the ring attendant and jump into the ring)
 
 
 

SAM:  This one’s going to be a war!  All four men are going at it right at the get go!  The ref is going to have trouble keeping order in this one.  It looks like Doom and Onslaught will officially start this one off as their partners reluctantly exit to their respective corners.  Onslaught with a hard Punch to the stomach, followed by a Forearm shot to the back puts Doom down… Falling Head-butt to the neck of Doom!  Doom is up and measures Onslaught with a Punch to the face.  Now a Forearm shot to the back… they’re punching back and forth… Doom breaks the series with a Toe Kick that puts Onslaught on his knees.  Doom Stomps him on the back.  Onslaught tries to pick him up for a move but Doom blocks it with a Forearm to the face.  Onslaught shrugs it off and picks up Doom for a High Angle Slam… he slammed him OVER the top rope to the floor!  Doom quick to get back in… he catches the Monster with another Toe Kick, sending him to the mat where Doom stomps him on the neck.  He picks him up… Forearms him across the back again to the mat and stomps his neck again.  Pick up, Toe Kick, now a Stomp to the back.  Onslaught grabs Doom by the hair now and measures him… BIG Hammer Punch rocks Doom!  He wraps on a front headlock and hammers him down with a big Forearm across the back… Falling Head-butt to the back!  Neither man backing up an inch here!  Doom is up again and lands a Punch to the head and another to the gut before going to his corner for the tag.  Onslaught follows in but can’t stop it… Wurms try a double team.. Onslaught forces them off and drops a Head-butt to Doom’s groin!

ABE:  That’s got to be one of the scariest moves in the EFW.  I mean, the hockey mask ALONE has to hurt, but with that weight added…

SAM:  Try and stay focused, Abe.  Doom is actually holding Onslaught’s head in place giving Nightshade a chance to drop an Elbow!  Nightshade drops another before Doom is forced back into his corner.  Onslaught is up and angry.  Punch to the stomach of Nightshade.  Nightshade drops him with a Forearm Smash and then Stomps him in the groin!

ABE:  Gyah, why won’t they stop DOING THAT?!  It’s painful to watch!

SAM:  Onslaught is up, slowly, and Nightshade with a Headlock Takedown… he holds onto the neck and stands up... Reverse Neckbreaker!  What a combination by Nightshade!  That move taught to him by his mentor, Hannibal.  He drops another elbow, picks him up and nails a Short Arm Clothesline… ANOTHER Stomp to the groin!  The Wurms trying to take advantage of what may be Onslaught’s only weak spot.  Nightshade picks Onslaught up… Onslaught lifts him up for a slam… he’s WALKING to his corner with Nightshade on his shoulder!  He tags Widowmaker and Slams Nightshade down HARD to the mat… Widowmaker drops an Elbow!  Good teamwork by the Warhounds there.  Now they’re both Punching the Hell out of Nightshade!  Look at those fists fly!  Onslaught steps into the corner and Widowmaker goes to work.  He punches him down and stomps Nightshade’s leg.  Nightshade nails a quick Toe Kick to grab a breather.  Another one, and now he Double Stomps Widowmaker’s back!  Widowmaker up and stuns Nightshade with a Punch to the face… he’s measuring him now… Right, Right, Right… and THERE’S the big Left hand to knock Nightshade down!  Now a Stomp to the gut!

ABE:  All four of these guys must have fists like stone!

SAM:  Widowmaker lifts him up… Nightshade quickly lands a European Uppercut!  He turns Widowmaker on his stomach… ANOTHER vicious Double Stomp!  He lifts Widowmaker up… Widowmaker grabs his arm and yanks him in for a big time Short Arm Lariat!  Now he’s just stomping Nightshade repeatedly with those cowboy boots!  Nightshade manages to lock on a Front Facelock and drag Widowmaker to his corner… he makes the tag… doubleteam coming up… Widowmaker fights them off but Nightshade punches him in the stomach… STUFF POWERBOMB by Doom and Nightshade puts the big Texan down!  Nightshade steps out and Doom Stomps Widowmaker in the groin.  Widowmaker reverses a whip into the corner but walks into a High Angle Body Slam.  Doom stomps him in the face now.  Widowmaker is up and ANGRY now… High Angle Body Slam puts Doom on the mat HARD!  These are some stiff, STIFF moves these men are laying on each other.  Widowmaker hooks Doom for a Suplex… what power he’s just HOLDING him up there… falls back to the mat and Doom hits hard!  Widowmaker gives him a stomp… Doom up and nails a Suplex of his own!  Now HE’S stomping Widowmaker!  Back and forth, back and forth, who’s going to gain the upper hand?  Doom stomps him in the groin and then puts him in another Suplex… he holds on and stands up and hits another… HE STILL HOLDS ON and hits another Suplex that sends Widowmaker rolling to the outside!

ABE:  I’ve NEVER seen anybody do that to Widowmaker!

SAM:  The Tag Team Champs are in a fight right now, to be sure!  Onslaught is in the ring now and the Ref is distracted… Doom goes over to go outside and Widowmaker blasts him with the Cowbell!  Doom is staggered as Widowmaker gets in the ring… there’s a DDT on Doom and Widowmaker is still in this thing.  He lifts Doom up on his shoulder… Running Powerslam plants Doom in the center of the ring.  Widowmaker drops the Elbow across the neck of Doom, setting him up for either that Lariat from Hell or Onslaught’s Devastator.  Widowmaker locks on the Texas Cloverleaf, one of his signature maneuvers and the ref checks Doom… Doom is in and breaks the hold and Onslaught comes in as well.  Doom manages to Suplex the 7’0 monster to the mat as Nightshade runs to the ropes and drops the Big Leg across Widowmaker’s throat!

ABE:  It’s the Leg Drop!  The move that’s ended careers!  Ring the bell, it’s over… ugh.

SAM:  The Wurms each have a leg of Onslaught… DOUBLE groin stomp!  They’re milking the damage they’ve done for all they can!  Onslaught makes his way back to the corner, I don’t think a normal man would be CAPABLE of walking right now as Doom stomps Widowmaker.  Widowmaker shoves him away and tags in Onslaught.

ABE:  He must be feeling it bad if he’s tagging in the Monster after suffering that double groin stomp.

SAM:  Widowmaker gets back in his corner and tries to clear the cobwebs out as Onslaught punches Doom down… GROIN Head-butt and there’s the favor returned to Doom!  Doom is up slowly and Onslaught just Military Presses him above his head… then SLAMS him down hard!  Even a slowed down Onslaught is dangerous… ANOTHER Head-butt to the groin… and ANOTHER!  Onslaught is a man possessed in there!  Doom crawls over to his corner and makes the tag to Nightshade.  Onslaught moves toward them… DOUBLE DROPKICK by the Wurms rocks the Big Man back!

ABE:  Jesus!  Who’d have thought THEY would be able to pull that one off?

SAM:  Doom gets back in the corner as Nightshade goes back to work on the groin… He’s yelling to the crowd now.. ONSLAUGHT’S UP!  Nightshade turns around… Onslaught nearly took his head off with a Big Boot Kick!  Falling Head-butt to the back!  He lifts him up… Nightshade stops the momentum with a Short Arm Clothesline… drops an Elbow Drop across the neck… and another!  Onslaught STILL getting up… Nightshade Toe Kicks him in the gut and puts the Big Man back down on the mat.  Hanging Knee Breaker by Nightshade, followed by a Double Stomp across the back… and AGAIN.  The Wurms doing everything they can to keep Onslaught down.  Another Stomp to the groin… Onslaught shrugs it off!  How …?  He’s got Nightshade up across his shoulders… Torture Rack Breaker!  Onslaught moves in but Nightshade scoops him up… K-DRILLER!!  Will that do it?  Will that keep the Monster down?  Nightshade with a double handed cover… 1… 2… Widowmaker breaks it up and Doom is in!   Doom and Widowmaker are brawling as Nightshade has Onslaught by the throat… he just hit Onslaught with the Devastator!  What strength by Nightshade!

ABE:  Now that’s a slap in the face, getting hit with your own finisher!

SAM:  Nightshade applies a Kneeling Figure Four on the legs of Onslaught and the Ref moves in to check… Onslaught’s not giving up… I think his leg will snap before he’d submit to anything… Nightshade grabs the rope for leverage… the Ref sees it and breaks the hold!  Nightmare locks on a Kataha-jime, but Onslaught’s foot is under the rope.  All four men in the ring now.  Nightshade intercepts Widowmaker and puts him down, dropping elbows.  Doom moves in to keep Onslaught down… HE’S GOT DOOM BY THE THROAT…. DEVASTATOR!!!  That came out of nowhere!  Onslaught splashes Doom, but he’s not the legal man!  Nightshade stares in disbelief as he catches his breath… Widowmaker spins him around and Suplexes him to the mat!  The momentum carries Nightshade to the outside!  Doom has something in his hand as Widowmaker goes over to grab him… he jabs a NIGHTSTICK into Widowmaker’s throat!  Now he bashed him across the head!  Nightshade is back in the ring and back at it with Onslaught as their partners are forced back to their corners.  Onslaught has Nightshade set up for a piledriver… there’s the Facebuster!  Onslaught drives all his weight on his opponent as he drives Nightshade face first to the mat!  Nightshade back up and surprises Onslaught again with the K-Driller!  I know this is Onslaught we’re talking about, but even for HIM this has been a serious beating… Nightshade covers… 1… 2… Widowmaker makes the save!  Onslaught drops a Head-butt on Nightshade while he’s still down.  Widowmaker whips Doom to the other side of the ring then walks over to Nightshade… Hanging Knee Breaker on Nightshade.  Doom has grabbed something from under the ring… it’s a Nightstick… no TWO Nightsticks, one for each hand!  The Ref is making Widowmaker get out of the ring… THE FISTS OF DOOM, that deadly series of punches from Doom only made worse by the fact he’s using NIGHTSTICKS!  Onslaught falls like a tree to the mat after the final strike and Nightshade wraps on that Kneeling Figure Four… the Ref is over to check… Onslaught’s not responding and the Ref calls for the bell!  The Wurms are going to steal another one from the Warhounds!
 
 
 

RESULT:
Doom / Nightshade d. The Warhounds by submission (16:38)
 
 
 

SAM:  Widowmaker is HOT!  He’s got his cowbell… the Ref is warning him…  and the Ref gets clocked!  Nightshade is up… he gets caught with the Cowbell!  Doom runs in… LARIAT FROM HELL flips the Enforcer of the Wurms!  Widowmaker stomps both men and Onslaught is up…

ABE:  They should have just taken the win and run…

SAM:  Widowmaker picks up Doom and grabs him by the throat… Onslaught is over now and HE grabs the throat as well… DOUBLE DEVASTATOR!!  Doom is laying on the mat… and now they’ve got Nightshade… AGAIN with the Double Devastator!  The Warhounds leave the ring as EFW officials are in to  check on Doom and Nightshade.  But no matter how they did it, The Wurms just beat the Tag Team Champs, and the championship committee is going to have to take that into consideration.
 
 
 

SAM:  Jimmy Hollywood has caught up with The Mangler in the back.  Let’s cut to Jimmy now.
 
 
 

(The camera cuts to the back, but instead of an interview we see Vermin ramming Mangler’s head into a nearby locker)
 
 
 

JIMMY:  Well, I WAS going to get a word with Mangler before Vermin attacked.  Guess I’m done here.

SAM:  Vermin is just mauling the Mangler!  187 on the floor!  He’s dragging him back up, pulling him over to the vending machines… he just drove him like a lawn dart into a Pepsi machine!  Mangler is down and Security is out to get things in control.  This is total chaos tonight!
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

LARRY:  The next contest is scheduled for one fall.  (Destructo’s music hits the speakers to a mixed reaction of cheers and boos from the crowd)  Introducing first, weighing in at 244 lb. and hailing from Parts Unknown… DESTRUCTO!!
 
 
 

(Destructo walks to the ring, yelling at the various fans holding Nomad signs and wearing Vigilante T-shirts.  He steps into the ring and roars to the crowd as ‘Legend’ hits the speakers.  The jeers are deafening)
 
 
 

LARRY:  And his opponent… weighing in at 244 lb. and currently residing in Tokyo, Japan… he represents the Pantheon… “THE ICON” Rick Idol!!
 
 
 

(Idol is already running as he comes through the curtain.  Fans barely have time to throw trash before he’s slid into the ring and charging Destructo)
 
 
 

SAM:  Idol hit that ring like a dynamo and this fight is on!

ABE:  Idol and Destructo have the same weight?  Idol must be hiding some muscle!

SAM:  Destructo still has the height advantage.  Idol lands a quick jab, Destructo answers with a Kick and a Hip Toss.  He has Idol by the hair and is just DRIVING his knee into Idol’s head repeatedly.  Idol down and Destructo is Stomping him now.  Idol up and SLAMS Destructo!  Destructo back up quickly and Idol connects with a Toe Kick.  Destructo grabs him by the hair and measures him with a Straight Punch to the face.  Idol answers with a Jab, both men just brawling back and forth here.  Destructo forces him down and Drops an Elbow across the neck.  Idol is up quickly… he just SLAPPED Destructo!  Listen to him trash talking the big man!

ABE:  Good GOD!  You don’t SLAP Destructo!

SAM:  Destructo is in a rage as he turns back around… Idol Body Slams him to the mat… just RAKES the eyes with his boot!  Idol is just vicious with his offense.  Destructo grabs Idol by the head and drives his Knee into Idol’s head again… now he’s stomping him while he’s down.  He’s pulling Idol off the mat… a BIG High Angle Body Slam, followed by more stomps.  ANOTHER hard Slam!  Destructo is seeing red in there right now!  Destructo is going to Slam him again… Idol grabs him by the hair and measures him with a Punch to the face, followed by two Quick Jabs.

ABE:  The ICON isn’t going to lay down for ANYBODY!  Though in this case he might be better off if he did…

SAM:  Idol rakes the eyes with his boots again.  He’s going for a suplex… Destructo blocks it with a Forearm Smash… Head-butt to the groin!  That’s got to hurt!  Idol back up and SLAMS the big man again!  And now he’s stomping him in the groin!  We’re not going to see a lot of arm drags and drop toeholds in this one, Abe.  Another eye rake with the boots… Destructo blocks a slam attempt with a Forearm Smash… ANOTHER Head-butt to the groin!  And another!

ABE:  That’s a popular move tonight…

SAM:  Destructo with a Short Arm Clothesline on Idol.  Idol’s in trouble now.  Back to the groin, and there’s a stomp to the midsection.  He’s signaling for the Iron Maiden… Idol knees him in the gut!  Hanging Knee Breaker by the Icon!  Both men up and staring each other down… SLAP by Destructo!  He’s jawing at Idol… Idol is ENRAGED… PUNCH by Idol, another slap attempt by Destructo misses, Idol knocks him down another punch!  Idol stomps him on the back of the head now.  Destructo blocks the Split Second DDT… IRON MAIDEN!!!  He’s got Idol up in the Iron Maiden, it’s over, it’s over… IDOL’S NOT SUBMITTING!

ABE:  What?!?

SAM:  The Ref is checking but Idol refuses to give!  Destructo lifts him high above his head and brings him CRASHING down across his knee with a Backbreaker!  Destructo arguing with the Ref on that one.  Stomps by Destructo, and an elbow drop.  CHOKESLAM on Idol!  Destructo with a Chinlock now, taking a breather with this rest hold.  Idol kicks upward and breaks the hold, how is he still in this?  Destructo quickly goes for the two-hand cover… 1…. 2… KICK OUT!  Destructo frustrated now, throwing Idol to the outside.  He follows him out and levels Idol with a big Kick, knocking him down.  He’s locking on a Standing Half-Crab on the outside, stretching Idol all over the place as the Ref continues the count.  He lets Idol out of it to get back in the ring… Idol stuns him with a Punch!  Idol going for that Snap Suplex… Destructo reverses it into a Vertical Suplex!  Destructo is back in at 15, but Idol’s still down!  16, 17… Idol quickly slides back in to beat the count!

ABE:  Jesus, Rick, TAKE THE DIVE!  Live to fight another day!

SAM:  As much as I don’t like the man, he never runs away from a fight.  Idol tries more punches but Destructo chops him down to the mat and goes for the cover…. 1… 2… Thr… IDOL GOT THE SHOULDER UP!  Destructo is all over the Ref on that one!  Idol was a split second away from being counted down!  Idol is up and angry!  Destructo moves in.. Idol stops him with a Jab, another Jab, Toe Kick, Toe Kick, he’s going for that Snap Suplex….  and he got the big man over!  Idol’s found his second wind and fighting with desperation!  Destructo doesn’t stay down long and drops Idol with a hard Slap!  He goes for the cover… Idol lays a foot on the ropes!  Destructo yanks him to his feet and whips him HARD into the turnbuckle… he slaps him again!  Idol falls forward to the mat.. Destructo dropping elbows to the neck now.  He lifts Idol up to knee level.. Gut Wrench Powerbomb!  The Ref drops to make the count… 1… 2… 3!!  Destructo finally got him to stay down!
 
 
 

RESULT:
Destructo d. “The ICON” Rick Idol via pinfall (7:51)
 
 
 

SAM:  Listen to this ovation as Destructo is just stomping Idol now.  The Ref is calling for the bell again but Destructo is ignoring him.  Ref warning him… Destructo just tosses the Ref over the top rope!  The fans don’t like  that… he goes outside and takes the chair from the Timekeeper.  He’s back in the ring and just beating Idol over the back with that steel chair!!  Poetic Justice for the ICON here, but I doubt Destructo cares about that.  He’s sending a message to the EFW…

ABE:  Yeah, “No More Mr. Nice Guy”!

SAM:  He’s got Idol in the Iron Maiden now!  The bell keeps ringing, but Destructo is intent on breaking Rick Idol in half here!
 
 
 

 (‘Highway to the Dangerzone’ hits the speakers and the fans explode as Nomad runs through the curtain)
 
 
 

ABE:  Look at that coward, coming to get the ICON while he’s down!

SAM:  IT’S NOMAD!!  Listen to these fans go nuts as he runs to the ring!  Destructo has dropped Idol and is calling Nomad in!  He’s in, he’s looking down at Idol… HE’S GOING AFTER DESTRUCTO!!!

ABE:  What, he’s saving Idol???

SAM:  He’s returning the favor from Mayhem!  The two former allies are brawling back and forth now!  Idol taking the opportunity to get the Hell out of Dodge.  Nomad is rocking Destructo back with those hard punches… right, right, right, Kiss that Left hand and a HARD left punch!  He grabs him for a Jumping Neckbreaker Drop… Destructo just throws him down!  He’s putting Nomad up in the Iron Maiden… wait a minute, Idol’s not left… he’s got the ring bell!  He slides back in the ring… he CLOCKED Destructo across the back with the ring bell…. Nomad falls to the mat and Destructo falls flat on his back.  Idol throws the bell down across Destructo’s groin and now Nomad is up!  Look at that staredown!  Idol just points at Destructo and backs out of the ring… Nomad’s at Destructo’s shoulder!

ABE:  NO!!!  Not this!  ANYTHING BUT THIS!!

SAM:  He kicks the shoulder!  He points to the People… and he takes off!  Bounces off the ropes… off the other ropes… and THERE’S the Nomad’s Elbow on Destructo!!

ABE:  (bangs his head on the table) What is WITH that move?  It’s TERRIBLE!!  Why do these idiots LOVE that move???

SAM:  Nomad is pointing down at Destructo and yelling at him… wait, Idol’s grabbing a microphone!
 
 
 

IDOL:  (he’s favoring his back; he stares right at Nomad as he talks) Nomad!  LOOK AT ME WHEN I’M TALKING TO YOU!!  That’s right… you think you can play head games with the ICON?!  I’m not PLAYING games with you, don’t you get it?  You think I’m like these other villains of the week you’ve dealt with like the Vicious Alliance and the Sickos, but I’m not.  They enjoyed toying with you, I’m going to systematically uproot your life and wipe it from existence!  So let me go ahead and tell you WHERE it’s going to end, and HOW it’s going to end!  “Where” is at Armageddon 3!  “How” is in a 2/3 Falls, No Submission, Falls Count Anywhere Match!  NO RETREAT, NO SURRENDER!!
 As for you Destructo, you may not be part of his Human Shield Crew anymore, but today you’ve made an enemy for life, and it is FAR from over between us!  (he throws the mic at the table and heads to the back to a chorus of boos)
 
 
 

SAM:  Idol has laid down the challenge!  Will Nomad agree to the match?  Nomad’s music is playing as he leaves the ring and Destructo begins to stir.  Our main event is up next!
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

SAM:  It’s come down to the wire folks.  For the past few weeks the EFW Light Heavyweight Tournament has been running strong, and tonight is THE night we crown a NEW EFW Light Heavyweight Champion!  Let’s go down to Larry for the announcement!
 
 
 

LARRY:  Ladies and gentlemen… it is NOW time for our MAIN EVENT!
 
 
 

(The fans go nuts and rise to their feet)
 
 
 

LARRY:  This feature bout is a 3-Way Dance, and it is for the EFW LIGHT HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP!!  President Walters has ordered that EVERYONE other than the participants are BARRED FROM RINGSIDE! (the fans cheer this announcement as ‘Just a Gigolo’ hits the speakers, causing the women in the arena to go wild)  The first participant, coming down the aisle, he weighs in at 200 lb. and hails from Somewhere in Time… he represents the Sickos on Parade…. BANE!!
 
 
 

 (Bane steps through the curtain and looks at the crowd.  He gives a wide grin and drops to one knee, flexing his arms.  A girl near the security fence faints.  He gets back up and walks to the ring.  He steps through the ropes and gives another pose, inciting shrieks of delight from the ladies in the audience.  ‘Metal Militia’ starts playing and the fans rise to their feet and cheer)
 
 
 

LARRY:  The second participant in this match-up… weighing in at 201 lb. and hailing from Tokyo, Japan… he represents Team Hellfire… “RING LORD” Gan Wuyin!!
 
 
 

 (Bane is standing at the edge of the ring, waiting for Gan Wuyin to come down the aisle.  Wuyin appears out of the crowd and slides into the ring.  He signals the crowd, drawing cheers, then walks up to the unsuspecting Bane.  Bane slowly turns around and Wuyin lays a chop on him, sending Bane over the top rope as the fans go nuts)
 
 
 

SAM:  The fight from earlier in the evening is continuing here!  Gan Wuyin is begging Bane to get back in, and the Sicko is more than happy to comply!

ABE:  Come on, Bane!  I got 200 bucks on you, you gotta do this!
 
 
 

(‘Creeping Death’ begins to play and the cheers immediately turn to deafening boos)
 
 
 

LARRY:  And the final participant… weighing in at 160 lb. and hailing from Every Woman’s Most Perverted Fantasy… representing the Pantheon… he is the self-proclaimed “REAL” Light Heavyweight Champion of the World…THE “EXTREME” CONDO WARRIOR!!
 
 
 

 (Condo steps through the curtain and raises the “real” Light Heavyweight Belt above his head as the fans throw trash at him.  He continues to hold the belt high as he walks to the ring.  He is visibly upset as he places his belt in a ring corner and slides into the ring under the bottom rope.  He leans back in the corner and watches as Wuyin and Bane battle)
 
 
 

SAM:  Condo is NOT happy about Jade being barred from ringside.

ABE:  Yeah, talk about WHIPPED…

SAM:  That new EFW Light Heavyweight Belt is sitting on the table next to the ring bell… that’s the prize these three men have been fighting for the past few weeks.  This is it, only ONE man can walk out of this match the new EFW Light Heavyweight Champion.

ABE:  The smart money’s on Bane… and as ALWAYS, the only “smart” money around here is MINE!  C’mon Bane!

SAM:  With Condo in the ring the Ref calls for the bell, but Bane and Gan Wuyin started 5 minutes ago!  Condo rushes both men… they catch him!  Double Suplex on the Condo Warrior and the two start fighting each other again!  Bane with a Go-behind… Wuyin reverses it with a Go-behind of his own and hits a Reverse DDT!  Condo has his belt!  He’s running at Wuyin… he swings… Wuyin ducks and Condo nails Bane!  Bane is busted open!

ABE:  DAMN YOU CONDO!  I HOPE YOU DIE!!!

SAM:  Abe, just call the match!  Bane is up and mad!  He tries to attack Condo, but the Warrior ducks and nails a Flair Chop on the Sicko!

CROWD:  WHOOOOO!!!

SAM:  Bane grabs Condo for a Suplex… Wuyin is over and grabs him as well… ANOTHER Double Suplex and Condo rolls to the outside!  Bane whips Wuyin to the ropes… Condo slides back in… Double Drop Kick by Bane and Condo floors Wuyin!  Condo grabs Wuyin… Wuyin tries a Suplex… blocked… Condo reverses it into a Suplex of his own, sending Wuyin to the outside!  Condo grabs Bane and floors him with an Elbow to the head!  Bane may be in a frenzy now, but Condo was like that when he showed up!  Wuyin back in and grabs Condo from behind… Condo counters with a Mule Kick!  Bane takes advantage of the distraction and picks up Condo and drops him across the knee with a Backbreaker!  Wuyin with a Standing Moonsault for the pin… Condo gets his foot on the ropes!  Bane grabs Wuyin in a Hip Throw, then he gets Condo with another Backbreaker!

ABE:  That’s it Bane, you can do it!

SAM:  Bane Chops Wuyin!  Condo Chops Bane!  The Crowd is going to go hoarse in this match if they keep “Whooing” everytime there’s a chop!  Bane hooks the arms of Condo… Double Arm Suplex…. Wuyin nails a Somersault Splash on Bane while he’s still on the mat!  Bane chops Wuyin, Wuyin counters with a series of Kneelifts.  Condo stomps Bane while he’s down.  Bane is up and Chops Wuyin again!  Condo grabs Wuyin from behind… Wuyin reverses… German Suplex…. he rolls through and holds on… ANOTHER German Suplex… he’s going for a Third… Bane breaks it up!  Wuyin Snap Mares Bane and Somersault Splashes Condo.  Condo whips Wuyin into the turnbuckle and applies a Headlock on Bane… TIGER SPIN puts Bane face first to the mat!  Bane chops Wuyin, then grabs Condo from behind… Mule Kick!

ABE:  NO!  Not the Crown Jewels!  Curse you to HELL, Condo!

SAM:  Wuyin catches Condo with a Forearm Smash… Bane takes Wuyin down and Stomps him in the groin!  Bane Snap Mares Condo… Wuyin grabs Bane, Suplex coming up… Jumping Suplex on Bane!  Condo has that belt again… he clocks Wuyin!  Bane sneaks up behind Condo… STONE COLD KILLER!

ABE:  Dammit!  That’s it, I gotta do something!

SAM:  Sit down Abe!  You have a job to do, so DO it!  Wuyin regains his senses enough to roll up Bane in a Japanese Leg Roll Clutch… they’re in the ropes!  Bane with a Snap Suplex on Condo… Wuyin Snap Mares Bane!  Condo’s going to lock on the Figure Four on Bane… Wuyin with a Standing Victory Roll on Condo!  1… 2… kick out!  Bane and Condo both have Wuyin now… Double Suplex!  Condo blindsides Bane with a Punch… blocked… Bane goes for a Slam… Condo rolls him up in a Small Package… Wuyin twists in mid-air and rolls up Condo for the pin!  1… 2… kick out again!  Bane leaps on Condo’s shoulders and does a Victory Roll of his own… 1… 2… kick out!  Condo quickly catches him with a Stone Cold Killer…. Wuyin drops an Elbow across Bane’s leg!  Condo locks on a Kataha-jime!  The Ref moves in to check on Bane… Wuyin breaks the hold and Condo immediately Stomps Bane in the groin!

ABE:  I swear, MY nuts hurt after tonight!

SAM:  Wuyin knocks down Condo with a Forearm Smash… Bane grabs Wuyin in a Backbreaker… Stomp to the groin of Wuyin.  Bane over to Condo… Cobra Clutch!  The ref is checking, Condo can’t reach the ropes…. he flips Bane forward with a shoulder throw!  Both men down and The Ring Lord is climbing to the top rope!  MOONSAULT on Condo… 1… 2… KICK OUT!  Condo is still in this!  Bane is up but groggy as Ring Lord picks up Condo… RING LORD SUPLEX!!! Right in the middle of the ring, this is it… 1… 2… Thre… CONDO GOT THE SHOULDER UP!!!

ABE:  DAMN YOU RING LORD, PIN HIM ALREADY!!!

SAM:  Bane has shaken off the cobwebs and he gives a nod to Condo, who answers it… Double Drop Kick on Gan Wuyin!  Bane grabs Condo… Falcon Arrow!  Ref drops to count… Wuyin breaks it up with a Spinning Backfist!  Bane with a Backbreaker on Wuyin… he’s just Tomahawk Chopping Condo down to the mat repeatedly!  Wuyin tries a Slam… Bane rolls him up with a Small Package… 1 count only!  Wuyin tosses Bane across the ring with a beautiful Belly to Belly Suplex!  Wuyin walks over to the downed Condo… LIFTS him off the mat and drops him back down with a Gutwrench Suplex!  What a move!  Condo scrambles back up to his feet using the ropes, but he’s feeling the effects of this match.  Bane is up but groggy… Wuyin with a Drop Kick… Condo with a Drop Kick!  Inadvertent Double Drop Kick by Condo and Wuyin!  Wuyin moves in… Condo Uppercuts the groin and Wuyin collapses to the mat! Bane has Condo… DORY FUNK DROP!!!  Condo is down… Wuyin leaps at Bane… Huracan Rana!!!  The Ref drops to make the count… 1… 2… Condo Super kicks Wuyin!!!  Wuyin is stunned and Condo goes to work… right, right, right, and there’s a left… Bane breaks it up by Punching Condo down!  Bane runs off the ropes…. Jumping Knee Press across the back of Condo!  Bane falls back into the corner to catch a breather as Wuyin rolls Condo up in a Japanese Leg Roll Clutch… 1… 2… 3!!!!  Condo is eliminated!!
 
 
 

“Ring Lord” Gan Wuyin d. The “Extreme” Condo Warrior via pinfall (10:38)
 
 
 

ABE:  YEESSSSSS!!!  HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!  Now come on Bane, only one more left!

SAM:  Condo is attacking the Ref!  He can’t believe he just got pinned!!  STONE COLD KILLER on the Referee!   EFW security is out and forcibly dragging Condo away.  He’s insane!  Meanwhile, Bane is Chopping away at Gan Wuyin… you can hear those up in the nose bleed section!  Wuyin is down and Bane climbs the top rope… SHOOTING STAR PRESS… Wuyin grabs the bottom rope!  That would have been it!  Bane with a Falcon Arrow… again Wuyin sticks a foot under the rope!  Bane’s not going to be able to beat him unless he gets him away from the ropes!  Wuyin with a Standing Victory Roll… in the ropes!  Bane catches him with a Backbreaker and locks on the Reverse Chinlock!  Wuyin is holding on.  Wuyin slips out of the hold and plants Bane with a Michinoku Driver… Bane sticks a foot on the ropes!  Bane with another Falcon Arrow… AGAIN in the ropes!

ABE:  FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, BANE, GET HIM AWAY FROM THE ROPES!!!

SAM:  Bane with a Jumping Piledriver!  He’s just waiting for Wuyin to get up… he grabs him from behind… REVERSAL… Wuyin whips Bane face first into the turnbuckle and Bane is down… Wuyin climbs the ropes!!  MOONSAULT!!  Bane grabs the bottom rope!  How close is this match, folks?  RING LORD SUPLEX!!!  It’s in the middle of the ring… 1… 2… 3!!!!  He’s done it!!
 
 

RESULT:
“Ring Lord” Gan Wuyin d. Bane via pinfall (13:11)
NEW LIGHT HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION!!
 
 
 

LARRY:  Ladies and gentlemen, here is your winner… and NEW EFW Light Heavyweight Champion of the World… “RING LORD” GAN WUYIN!!!
 
 
 

ABE:  NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!   This can’t be happening!!!  How can this… this ROOKIE be the new Champ???

SAM:  By pinning two men in the same match!  No controversy, no run ins…

ABE:  No controversy my @$$!!  That was a fast count!

SAM:  Get over it!  The Ref is wrapping the Light Heavyweight Belt around Wuyin’s waist… look at the smile on his face!  The fans are cheering the heroic effort this young man has put forth in this tournament!  Bane is SEETHING as he walks to the back.
 
 
 

(The lights go out in the arena)
 
 
 

ABE:  AAAHHH!!!  I knew it, it’s the end of the world!  That’s the only explanation that loser could have won…

SAM:  Will you stop?  The arena lights just went out… what…?

 There is a bright flash and the lights come back on.  Gan Wuyin is lying in the middle of the ring, motionless.  The ref is sitting in a corner trembling.

SAM:  What happened?  Did someone attack him?  It couldn’t have been Bane, he was already through the curtain….

ABE:  Divine Retribution!  At last!  I’m still out 200 bucks though… Dammit!

SAM:  The EMTs are out to check on Gan Wuyin… Vermin’s prediction came true!  Team Hellfire is down?  What’s going to happen next?  Tune in to AFTERMATH!!  We’ll see you at Massacre!
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

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