EFW Tuesday Night Massacre
The MCI Center
Washington, DC
(The MCI Center is packed to the rafters with EFW fans!)
JB : "We're ready to explode here in DC!! Hello once again, EFW fans! I'm Jim Biggins along side my longtime broadcast partner Buck Hammerstien!"
BH : "Hello, everyone!"
JB : "It's a night of grudges here in the EFW!! Heavyweight champion Rick Idol takes on Kyosuke Imori in a ten minute challenge, the Outlaws finally get the match with Sick & Sexy they've been asking for, and Liberator is looking to get some payback for what the Inquisition did to Painkiller last week!!"
BH : "It's ALWAYS a night of grudges here, Jim!! Everyone hates someone!!"
JB : "Fans, here's our complete card!"
MAIN EVENT
Nomad/Partner vs "The Extreme" Condo Warrior/Bo Abobo
Last Team Standing
The Texas Outlaws vs Sick & Sexy
Liberator vs Legion
Paul Savage vs Jade
Ten Minute Challenge, Non-title
"The ICON" Rick Idol vs Kyosuke Imori
JB : "Alright, lets---... fans, I'm being told something is happening in the back!!"
(Chaos in the backstage area. Technicians are thrown around, a cameraman is broken on the floor, security is running around screaming. The Sickos on Parade had arrived to the MCI Center, and they were making good on their promise to attack EVERYONE!! The one camera in the back that was recording the event was soon noticed by Vermin. The feed cut shortly thereafter)
"The ICON" Rick Idol vs Kyosuke Imori
Ten Minute Challenge
Idol was out to make a statement in this match and took it to Kyo early on. Idol pounded him pillar to post, using his fists to maximum effencicy. Idol landed several three and four punch combos inside the first two minutes of the match, then flung Kyo to the ropes and HEART PUNCHED him down!! Kyo fought to get in some offense, getting a couple of FLYING MARES, but Idol simply shrugged them off and SPLIT-SECOND DDT'D Kyo to the mat. Kyo pulled himself up on the ropes, prompting Idol to force him down and CHOKE him on the second rope!! Idol went for the pinfall at six minutes, but Kyo wouldn't stay down!! Idol pulled him up, tossed him into the corner and beat on him with his taped fists like Kyo were a punching bag. He went for the pin again at seven minutes, but again Kyo refused to stay down!! Idol, frustrated, made a big mistake by dropping Kyo to the mat and then going up to the top. Idol tried to come off the top with a double axehandle, but Kyo intercepted him with a DROP KICK!! Idol was up quicker than Kyo though, and held his arm in position for the LEGEND KILLER!! Kyo saw it coming and hit the ropes. Idol swung, but Kyo slid underneath!! Kyo rocked Idol back with some punches and then tried to whip him across the ring. Idol reversed the whip and sent Kyo in... and Idol FEINTED a Legend Killer!! Kyo bought it and slid under again, prompting Idol to turn and blast him full on in the face with the Legend Killer! Kyo crumbled to the mat, and Idol covered for the three count.
RESULT:
Idol d. Imori via pinfall at 8:56
Paul Savage vs Jade
Savage started out attempting to talk to Jade. He didn't get the words out of his mouth before Jade cleaned his clock with a STANDING ROUNDHOUSE KICK!!! Savage was knocked hard to the mat, and Jade didn't let up. The first two minutes of this match were dominated by Jade as she kicked and punched her off balance opponent all over the ring. Chops echoed across the arena and knocked Savage into the corner where Jade pounded him with knee strikes. Savage was busted open from a spot on his cheek and both arms are turning blue from warding off kicks. Savage escaped to the floor under the bottom rope. Jade walked close and Savage grabbed her leg, pulling her out to the floor, and then rolled back in the ring. Jade, fuming, quickly rolled back in but made a cardinal mistake-- she let her anger control her actions. A wild kick was caught by Savage who proceeded to pull Jade in and toss her across the ring with a BELLY-TO-BELLY SUPLEX!! Jade hit the mat hard for the first time. Savage tried to press the advantage, but Jade was up quickly. Jade came in again and caught a Savage kick... but Savage turned the move into a BACK BRAIN KICK!! Jade wobbled, and Savage saw his chance, quickly dropping her in his OMEGA STRIKE diamond cutter!! Savage quickly rolled over for the pin and won the match, but it was a match he would not soon recover from. Savage left the ring looking like he'd been hit by a car.
RESULT:
Savage d. Jade via pinfall at 6:30
Liberator vs Legion
Legion tried to dictate the pace of this match, it being his EFW debut, but Liberator only knows how to go full speed ahead. Liberator was all over Legion, but every time he landed a successful move Legion would come back right afterwards and use an ARM TWIST TAKEDOWN to put Liberator on the mat. BELLY-TO-BELLY SUPLEX from Liberator, arm twist takedown from Legion. BODY PUNCH RUSH from Liberator, arm twist takedown from Legion. After a few minutes, Liberator was clearly favoring his right arm. Legion took the oppertunity to try some higher impact moves, but Liberator demonstrated that his other limbs were still in working order by KENKA RUSHING Legion down to the mat!! Liberator dropped to apply the FISTS OF DISFIGUREMENT, but there was clearly not enough power in his arms to hold Legion down. Legion threw Liberator off and into the corner... right next to Liberator's infamous golden nightstick. Liberator grabbed the nightstick, and when Legion came in to try to attack Liberator jammed the nightstick backwards into his ribcage!! Legion doubled over and Liberator knocked him backwards to the mat with a KARATE RUSH then went for the pin. Legion kicked out, but was a half second too late.
RESULT:
Liberator d. Legion via pinfall at 11:24
(Note: Very, very close. These two are very evenly matched)
The Texas Outlaws vs. Sick & Sexy
Last Team Standing
Bane had donned a black mask on the way to the cage, while Weehawk had his bag of implements. The Outlaws didn't even let Sick & Sexy enter the ring and started stomping them as they tried! The teams quickly paired off with Widowmaker and Weehawk having at it on one side with Bane and Cross on the other. Weehawk's bag sat in the corner, but Widowmaker smartly kept his smaller opponent away from it and pounded him with hammer blows and punches in the corner. Cross missed with a wild swing and Bane countered with machine gun chops! Bane advanced on Cross and began throwing alternating jabs and chops until the Texan hit the mat under the barrage! Weehawk was definately on the losing side against Widowmaker. Widowmaker lifted Weehawk for a suplex, but Weehawk flipped out and roundhouse kicked him right in the back of the skull! It didn't take Widowmaker down though and a second later he spun and LARIATED Weehawk to the mat!!! Cross tried to make a comeback, but Bane nailed him with a measured punch to the throat and a chop to the bridge of the nose that sent him back to the mat!! Widowmaker then grabbed the bullrope the Outlaws bring to the ring with them.... and tossed the loop through a hole in the top of the cage!! Cross once again attempted a comback against Bane but was thwarted when he tried to lift Bane into the SIDEWINDER! Bane slipped off Cross's shoulders and hooked Cross in a BODY SCISSORS SLEEPER!! While Bane fished through Weehawk's bag for something, Widowmaker wrapped the loop of rope around Weehawk's neck and hoisted him into the air!!! After three tugs, Weehawk was suspended by his neck from the rope!!
The shot then flashed to the backstage area. Mr. Wiggles could be seen walking near the lever that controlled the cage raising and lowering. Seeing the lever, he looks both ways and then raises the lever a tad, letting out a loud "OOOPS!"
The cage raised up about a two feet from the floor. Vermin and Bo Abobo both ran down the isle and rolled under the bottom, the cage lowering back down afterwards. Widowmaker let go of the rope to intercept the two Sickos, letting Weehawk drop to the mat. Vermin and Bo quickly dropped Widowmaker while Bane had found what he was searching for in the bag: a THUMBSCREW!! Vermin drove Widowmaker into mat with the 187 Powerbomb while Bo beat Cross senseless with his fists. Bane locked Cross into the thumbscrew. Weehawk recovered his wits and kicked Widowmaker in the face several times while Vermin held him from behind. Security rushed down but could not get inside the cage. Vermin then lifted Widowmaker over his head and brought him crashing down on his knee in a huge backbreaker!! Both texans were laid out in the ring, helpless. This didn't stop Bo, who continued to stomp and bash Cross. Vermin grabbed the referee and demanded Sick & Sexy be declared the winner due to the Outlaws' inability to fight back. The referee complied, hoping the carnage would stop. Vermin then laughed and lariated the referee so hard his neck almost broke when he hit the mat.
RESULT:
Sick & Sexy d. Outlaws at 20:02
(The Outlaws almost had Weehawk a couple of times, but then Bane tagged in and cleaned up on them)
It didn't stop there. The timekeeper and two ringside camermen were all dragged into the ring a beaten severely. Vermin was headed for the announce position when control of the cage was finally wrested away from Mr. Wiggles. EFW security rushed in. The Sickos started laying the security out, but were eventually overwhelmed by numbers and driven back to the locker room.
(A camera comes to you from the backstage area. The Texas Outlaws are seen limping around and nursing their injuries. Sam Micheals attempts to get a word with them)
SM : "Cross! Widowmaker! Can I get your comments on Sick & Sexy's victory tonight?"
(Before the Outlaws can answer, Jimmy Hollywood runs into the shot)
JH : "I KNEW IT!! I knew you two IDIOTS were too F(BLEEP)ing INEPT to win ONE match!! Just one!! This is IT my friends!!! This is----"
(Both the Outlaws are staring at the floor. Jimmy SLAPS Cross on in the face)
JH : "Hey dammit, LOOK at me when I'm talking to you!!"
(The Outlaws look at each other. Cross grabs Jimmy by the neck)
Cross : (in a low tone) : "I've had just about as much as I can take from you, little man."
(Cross lifts Jimmy Hollywood up on his shoulders and sends him crashing to the floor with the Sidewinder!! Widowmaker wraps the bullrope around his arm and Cross whips Hollywood into a LARIAT FROM HELL!!! Using a stack of nearby crates, the Outlaws then deliver a HANGMAN'S BUSTER on the beaten man. Cross spits on Hollywood's broken form as both of the Texas Outlaws walk out of the shot)
JH : "sam... call... help...."
(Jimmy is twitching on the floor when from out of the shadows walks Vermin, a huge smile on his face. Jimmy sees him and tries to crawl away)
Vermin : (in a soothing voice) : "C'mon Jimmy, it's time to go."
JH : "no.... no...."
Vermin : "Oh yes. We've got to go."
(With a low laugh, Vermin slings Hollywood over his shoulder and walks away)
MAIN EVENT
Nomad/Partner vs "The Extreme" Condo Warrior/Bo Abobo
RING ANNOUNCER : "Ladies and gentlemen, it's time for tonight's MAIN EVENT!"
('Creeping Death' is the entrance theme of the Condo/Bo team. Condo w/Jade and Bo w/bottle of JD make their way out, and obviously take pleasure in the fans' hatred of them)
('Highway to the Danger Zone' causes an eruption from the crowd! Nomad w/Jazz and Nightmare walk down the isle to ringside... but then Nomad calls for a mic)
Nomad : "Whoa, whoa, whoa! You know, there are a lot of men who offered to be my partner in this match against you guys... Paul Savage was one, Scorpion was one, even Nightmare here was one. But then I got a phone call from an old friend who said he'd be interested in returning to the ring again.. I ran it past the boys and they LOVED the idea! So, without further ado, allow me to introduce my partner... former two time EFW world champion DESTRUCTO!!!!!"
("Highway" once again hits and the crowd in the MCI Center goes nuts!! Destructo makes his appearence, looking even bigger and meaner than ever before! Bo, expressionless, takes a long swig from his bottle and then hands it to Condo. Condo looks at the bottle... then takes a long drink of his own)
Destructo started out for his team against Bo, who would have no luck whatsoever. Destructo pounded him to the mat several times, and then bodily threw him into the turnbuckle!! Bo reached out and tagged Condo. Condo was reluctant to get in the ring, and for good reason as Destructo would grab him as soon as he got in the ring and drop him with a huge SHOULDER BREAKER!!! Destructo reached out and BACKFISTED Bo off the apron, then pressed Condo over his head and SLAMMED him hard into the center of the ring!! Bo jumped back up and entered the ring, but Destructo caught him on a blind charge with a MAFIA KICK!!! Destructo pulled Bo to his feet as Nomad simply watched Destructo fend off the two-on-one attack. Destructo tossed Bo over the top, but he didn't see Condo mounting the turnbuckle behind him. Condo lept off, but Destructo turned at the last second and grabbed him by the throat!!! The crowd went nuts as Destructo CHOKE SLAMMED Condo so hard he bounced three inches off the mat!!
Any fool could see where this was going, and the Pantheon quickly made their way to ringside, led by world champ Rick Idol. Destructo didn't pay any attention to them, he was manhandling Condo. Condo managed to lay in a knife edge chop, but it only caused Destructo to rear back and LARIAT his opponent. Condo lay still on the mat. Bo jumped in the ring again, knowing he had to try something. Destructo went for a clothesline, but Bo ducked under and locked in a rear waistlock! Bo then somehow managed to haul Destructo over into a BACK DROP SUPLEX, albiet a weak one. This bought their team a little time. Condo recovered somewhat and the two managed another offensive move as they DOUBLE SUPLEXED Destructo over onto the mat. Neither man saw Destructo bonce right up from the move!! Bo turned first and was lifted straight into the IRON MAIDEN!!! Destructo then took two steps in the hold and dumped Bo over the top. Condo tried to help by grabbing Destructo from behind, but the big man simply jumped backwards and CRUSHED Condo to the mat!!! Condo was not really struggling at this point, and when Destructo's 300 pound frame came crashing down again for the pin, he was helpless to kick out!! 1--2--3!!
Nomad/Destructo d. Condo/Abobo at 13:53
(Sometimes it's hard to sugar coat an ass kicking. This is one of those cases, as this match was almost 100% Destructo. He never even had to tag out)
RING ANNOUNCER : "Ladies and gentlemen, here are your winners.... NOMAD AND DESTRUCTO!!!!"
(Bo was still getting up on the outside as Destructo grabbed Condo off the mat, pressed him over his head and TOSSED him out into the arms of his teammates!! Nomad rolled into the ring, and Bo followed him. The Pantheon recovered it's wits and rushed the ring!! Nightmare joined his friends in the ring, but Vermin, Weehawk and Bane quickly joined in to help Bo and the beat-down was on. Destructo and Nightmare were subdued by the Sickos. Onslaught, Condo and Idol stomped Nomad into the mat. Idol gave Onslaught a signal, and the big man wrapped both hands around Nomad's throat!)
JB : "Someone get in there, it's almost ten on three!! Someone has to even the odds!!"
(Onslaught dragged Nomad over to the ring apron... when SCORPION, PAUL SAVAGE, KYOSUKE IMORI AND EXODUS came spriting down the isle to aid their friends!!! The odds were even seven on seven as the brawl was all over the ringside area!! The heroes were not quick enough to stop Onslaught, who DEVASTATED Nomad off the ring apron to the floor!! Paul Savage and Scorpion dumped Bo and Bane to the floor, but then Vermin came in behind them and clotheslined them both over the top rope!! Nightmare ran in behind Vermin and hoisted HIM up over the top to the outside!! Weehawk came off the top turnbuckle and MISSLE DROPKICKED Destructo out of the ring, but then he was immediately double dropkicked between the ropes by Kyo and Exodus!! Kyo and Exodus then exchanged a nod, and simultaneously executed SUICIDE DIVES over the top into the crowd of wrestlers, taking everyone down!!!! Onslaught was about to deliver more punishement to Nomad when Scorpion dove THROUGH THE ROPES and took the monster onto the announce desk!!!)
JB : "MY GOD!! THERE'S BODIES EVERYWHERE!!!! I'm getting the hell out of here!!!"
Copyright EFW 1998.