EFW Saturday Night Mayhem
Rosemont Horizon
Chicago, Illinois
(The shot fades to show the arena, and the pyro
explodes as we get underway!)
JB : "Welcome to Mayhem, EFW fans!! We’ve got a short show tonight, but
it’s sure to be one exciting time!!"
BH : "The United States Title is on the line tonight!! Nightmare has the
chance to once again gain singles gold!"
MAIN EVENT
Painkiller vs Nightmare
US Title Match
Condo Rules!
'The Extreme' Condo Warrior vs Paul Savage
Texas Tornado Match
The Texas Outlaws vs Tyrant/Mr. Wiggles
Exodus vs Onslaught
If Onslaught wins, his suspension is lifted
'The Extreme' Condo Warrior vs Paul
Savage
Condo Rules!
The bell sounded and both men circled the ring, never taking their eyes off
each other. They closed on each other and locked up, with Condo pulling a
Japanese Arm Drag from nowhere. Savage immediately rose, and they grappled
again. Condo, again with an arm drag, but Savage rose this time, and backed
away, as Condo raised his arms and soaked in the crowds boos. Savage came back
around, and they grappled again, this time Condo sprung out with a top
wristlock, but Savage reversed it, and step kicked Condo in the face 3 times
then threw him backwards to the mat. Condo rolled over and checked his face for
blood as Savage pulled him up and slammed him onto the mat with a body slam. He
dropped down to the mat, and put Condo in a cross arm bar. The referee asked
Condo, but Condo politely told him to go to hell. Savage released the hold, and
laid into Condo with some hard stomps. Condo rolled outside and checked once
again to see if he was bleeding. Savage quickly followed. Condos lead him in a
chase around the ring, but Condo rolled into the ring, and when Savage
followed, he laid into him with kicks. Condo grabbed Savage, and flipped him
onto the mat with a snap mare. Savage sat up... Condo bounced off the ropes and
Low Drop Kicked Savage square in the face! Savage flopped onto his back and
Condo locked him into the figure-4 leg lock. The ref asked Savage, but he
defiantly answered no. Savage began to rock from side to side, and in one fluid
motion, rolled over and reversed the leg lock. Condo released the hold, but not
before feeling the effects of his own hold. Condo favored his leg as he rose.
He went to grapple with Savage, but Savage pushed him away quickly and snapped
him in the face with a high kick. Condo hit the mat hard, and Savage used the
time to stomp a mud hole in Condo. Condo rolled outside, and Savage launched
himself over the top rope and landed onto Condo. Both men rose at the same
time, and it turned into brawl. Both men were throwing wild punches at each
other. Condo caught a break with a jab that stunned Savage and reached into his
tights. He swung at Savage and nailed him with something wrapped around his hand.
Savage stumbled backwards, and Condo moved in, quickly dropping Savage into the
STONE COLD KILLER. Savage landed hard onto the concrete, and Condo rose to one
knee and signaled to the crowd. Savage, clearly hurt, got to his knees,
clutching his neck. Condo pulled him up, and Savage fell back onto the
guardrail, which was helping to keep him up. Condo laid on a vicious chop that
echoed through the arena. Condo grabbed Savages arm, and threw him towards the
turnbuckle pole, but Savage reversed it, and Condo went face first into the
Pole. Condo stumbled backwards, and Savage spun him around, and hit his
finisher, the Front Face DDT! Savage then immediately rolled over, and locked
Condo into the Double Arm and Neck Lock. Condo was in obvious pain, but Savage let
him go, knowing he can't win here. He picked Condo up and rolled him back into
the ring. As Savage got onto the apron and began getting into the ring, Jade
jumped onto the apron and landed a swift High Kick to the back of Savages head.
He stumbled forward, and Condo landed a drop toehold. Taking the advantage,
Condo placed him into the Uncle Condo II. Savage wouldn't give, and Condo
reared back on it harder. Savage, with an amazing feat of strength, somehow got
to his feet, and ran Condo into the turnbuckle! Condo released the hold, as
Savage fell to his knees, trying to catch his breath. Condo used the time to
climb the turnbuckle. Savage rose to his feet and turned around only to get
nailed with a double axe handle off the top. Condo ban and bounced off the
opposite ropes, But Savage knew it was coming. He grabbed Condo in a sleeper
hold, then turning it into a Dragon Sleeper when Condo went to the mat! Savage
reared back hard, as Condo went Limp. The ref raised his arm once, and dropped
it. Twice, it dropped. Three times, and the match was over!
RESULT:
Savage d. Condo at 13:30 via submission
Onslaught vs Exodus
The match started off with Onslaught not waiting for the bell. He attacked
Exodus with full force, grabbing the smaller man and hammering his huge arms
into his back. Exodus looked like a child in Onslaughts hands as he slammed him
onto the mat with a one-armed body slam. Exodus, caught off guard by Onslaughts
assault, sprung up off the mat to his feet, and began laying kicks into the
advancing Onslaught. He landed 4 kicks and then ran backwards to the ropes. He
sprung off them and wheel kicked Onslaught, but Onslaught grabbed him by his
leg and arms. He hoisted up and powerbombed Exodus to the mat!! Exodus bounced
off the mat and slid under the bottom rope, holding his lower back. Onslaught
waited as Exodus climbed the stairs and entered the ring once more. Onslaught
went to grab him, but Exodus being smaller slipped out of the way, and hammered
Onslaught in the stomach with more kicks. Onslaught turned quickly, and tried
the land a short arm clothesline as he turned but Exodus again using his speed
against Onslaught, dropped to the mat and took the big man down with a drop
toehold!!! Exodus descended upon him with lightning speed, and managed to put
the big man in a crucifix arm bar. Onslaught rose like Exodus wasn't even
there, and threw him across the ring like he was a balled up piece of paper!
Exodus again bounced off the mat, but slide into the turnbuckle pole this time.
He crawled back into the ring, and used the ropes to get up, but Onslaught was
on top of him, and picked him up into the human torture rack! Onslaught bent
Exodus in way a human never was supposed to be bent for 30 seconds, before
dropping him to the mat. Exodus, clearly hurt, still got to his feet and began
by hitting another drop toe hold on Onslaught, but this time Onslaught was too
close to the ropes, and his face hit the top rope, and then bounced down the
rest of them. Exodus took the unplanned opportunity, and pulled Onslaught away
from the ropes, and climbed the turnbuckle. As Onslaught was beginning to rise,
Exodus hit him with a back flip senton splash!! He then pulled Onslaught up
from the mat, and landed a dropkick! Another, and another! Onslaught stumbled
backwards, as Exodus hit him with a spinning wheel kick, making the big man
lose his balance and roll over the top rope to the outside! Onslaught landed on
his feet, but Exodus wasn't far behind with a Crucifix Plancha! Both men hit
the guardrail, and almost completely destroyed it! Both men rose, and Exodus
entered the ring, closely followed by Onslaught. Exodus once again climbed the
turnbuckle, but Onslaught was watching this time. As Exodus came off the top
with a missile dropkick, Onslaught caught the man by his neck, and hit him with
the DEVASTATOR. He descended upon him for the pin and the1-2-3.
RESULT:
Onslaught d. Exodus at 6:53 via pinfall
The Texas Outlaws vs. Tyrant/Mr. Wiggles
Texas Tornado Match
The match began with Wiggles and Cross paired, and Widowmaker and Tyrant.
Tyrant and Widowmaker brawled all over the place, throwing wild punches at each
other, while Wiggles took the cheap shot and kicked Cross straight in the
groin. While Cross winced in pain, Wiggles hammered him down to the mat with
several Double axe handles. Tyrant got the upper hand on Widowmaker by stepping
on his foot, and pushing him backwards off balance. He then landed a terrible
diving clothesline, flooring the Texan. Tyrant stood up, and pulled Widowmaker
up with him. Wiggles continued to beat Cross about the stomach and groin, until
he finally dropped down, and tried to rake out Cross' eyes. Cross spit Tobacco
juice in Wiggles face, and Wiggles fell backwards, clutching his eyes. Tyrant,
backed himself with Widowmaker into the corner, and signaled for the running
powerbomb. He set Widowmaker up, but Widowmaker reached down and grabbed Cross'
branding iron and whacked Tyrant in the groin with it. Tyrant doubled over and
Widowmaker beat him down to the mat with the iron and then rolled him out side.
Cross was stomping a mud hole in Wiggles. He reached down, and picked Wiggles
up threw him over the top rope to the outside. The Texas Outlaw systematically
beat Wiggles and Tyrant on the outside. Cross beat Wiggles down with a chair,
while Widowmaker kept on Tyrant with the Branding Iron. All 20 midgets jumped
Cross at once while Wiggles rolled back into ring. Widowmaker tossed Tyrant
back into the ring, and followed him. Cross was throwing Midgets left and right
while Widowmaker placed Tyrant into the Texas Clover Leaf. Wiggles had his back
turned the whole time, watching the midgets, as Tyrant called for help. Wiggles
looked back, but didn't turn his attention away from the midgets. Then Wiggles
did a double take, and turned to help Tyrant. Widowmaker quickly released the
hold and hit a vicious diving lariat on Wiggles. Tyrant got up and, grabbing
Widowmaker in a rear waist lock, throwing German suplexed the big Texan over
the top rope!!!!!! Widowmaker's momentum carried him onto and through the
timekeeper's table!!! Tyrant confronted Wiggles in the middle of the ring.
Tyrant raised his voice, and pushed Wiggles back, pointing at Widowmaker, then
himself. Wiggles raised his arms in astonishment, as Cross rolled back into the
ring and Widowmaker began to stir on the outside. Tyrant ran towards the ropes,
and Dived over the tope rope onto the prone Widowmaker! Wiggles spun around
just in time to see an incoming clothesline from Cross. Wiggles ducked
underneath and kicked Cross in the stomach when he spun back around. He then
lifted him into the SEND IN THE CLOWNS. Wiggles quickly covered him. 1-2-3!
RESULT:
Tyrant/Wiggles d. Outlaws via pinfall at 9:15
JB : “ Fans… I’m
being told that…. what? Apparently, the North of the Border has said they are
going to show the Americans how wrestling was ment to be.”
BH : “What the
hell? You know....”
(Before he can finish, “Oh Canada” blares over the
intercom)
Voice X: “Ladies and Gentlemen, introducing first…. from Calgory, Alberta… The finest example of the human race and the leader of North of the Border, he is MAPLE LEAF!!”
(“Oh Canada” is replaced by “Bad Boys” on the PA)
Voice X: “…and his oppent… the uncrowned UNITED STATES CHAMPION, from Tornoto, Quebec…. the psycho himself, HANNIBAL THE CANADIAN CANNIBAL!!”
After the bell th
ematch started of with the exchanging of blows but neither seemed to affect
either of them. CC then struck fast and hard with a hit to the crotch followed
by a early piledriver! As a last ditch effort, MapleLeaf raked CC across the
eyes and tried for his crucifix powerbomb finisher, but was thrown over the top rope to the outside were he seemed to
hurt his shoulder on impact. CC grabbed the the refree’s attention away from
the outside of the ring, and out from under the ring came a “The Mountie” Roy
Wallace with a crowbar!! Wallce then whacked MapleLeaf over the head with it!!
At the same time, Jean Pierre ran to the ring, catching a unsuspecting CC with
his back turned and lifted him into a torture rack!! Seeing this out of the
corner of his eye, Wallace slid into the ring and landed a solid blow into the
kneecap of Jean Pierre who fell like a bag of garbage. Wallace then helped CC
up, who in turn slammed a size 15 boot into WALLACE’S face, sending him over
the top rope!! CC went to the top rope for the finish when out of the crowd
came the Fake Rick Idol, carrying a ‘My Buddy’ doll!! Seeing this, CC slipped off the turnbuckle laughing and bumped
his head hard on the cement floor. All four men looked to be knocked out. The
Fake Idol jumped up and down, laughing and talking to his doll.
The
Fake Idol then runs off to the back.
RESULT:
No
Contest
MAIN EVENT
Painkiller vs Nightmare
United States Title Match
RING ANNOUNCER : "Ladies and gentlemen,
it's time for tonight's MAIN EVENT! The winner of this match will become the
NEW EFW UNITED STATES CHAMPION!!!"
('Your Worst Nightmare' brings out the
former MFWL Heavyweight champion NIGHTMARE to the cheers of the masses!!
Nightmare jogs out to the ring, the obvious fan favorite)
('Agony' hits next, and Painkiller comes out, accompanied by Liberator. The
fans are not on his side in this match)
Painkiller began the match by rushing in on Nightmare and starting a fistfight
between the two. Both men through hard punches at each other, but Nightmare
dropped to his knees and caught Painkiller with a chop to the throat.
Painkiller stumbled backwards, and Nightmare grappled with him, and sent him to
the ropes. He nailed Painkiller on the rebound with a Kitchen Sink knee lift.
Painkiller hit the mat, but quickly rolled over, and got up. He grabbed
Nightmare's legs and pulled them out from under him. Painkiller then rose and
began to pound Nightmare with stomps to the back. Nightmare rolled, and avoided
the last stomp, and rose with a clothesline from hell, flooring Painkiller.
Nightmare rose, and pulled Painkiller up with him. He grappled with him and set
him up for a shoulder neck breaker. Painkillers head bounced off like a rubber
band, and he rolled over to his side as Nightmare pulled him up again.
Painkiller got half way up, before he began throwing vicious elbows to
Nightmares gut. Nightmare doubled over, and Painkiller pushed him to the ropes.
Painkiller began laying in chops that echoed through the whole arena, making
the crowd wince in pain. Painkiller pushed him and through him to the opposite
ropes, and Nightmare on the rebound ducked under his clothesline, and
retaliated when Painkiller turned with a choke slam!!! Nightmare dropped a few
elbows on the prone Painkiller then picked him up off the mat. With one quick
motion, he through Painkiller completely over the top rope! Painkiller landed
hard, and rolled into the guardrail. Nightmare was quick to follow. Nightmare
pulled him up again... and Painkiller got half way up before he got in another
cheap shot and again and slammed his fist into Nightmare's groin. Nightmare
again doubled over, and Painkiller through him down the isle and into the
guardrail. Painkiller followed him and began to lay in chops once again. He
then grabbed a chair, and laid one hell of a vicious shot into Nightmare's
forehead. Nightmare crumpled to the concrete. Painkiller pulled him up, and hit
him with The ELIMINATOR on the Concrete! Painkiller pulled Nightmare up, and
rolled him back in the ring. Painkiller followed and pulled Nightmare up for
the finish. He set him up, and hit the ELIMINATOR once again!! 1-2-3!!
Painkiller d. Nightmare at 8:51 via pinfall
Painkiller Retains the Title
RING ANNOUNCER : "Ladies and gentlemen,
here is your winner..............."
(The lights dim and "A.Y.A." begins to play, cutting
off the ring announcer. With a huge
explosion Legion enters the scene, carrying a large cross and a hammer.
Painkiller and Nightmare look on)
(All of a sudden, the
EFW-Tron begins to spark. After a few
seconds, "Oh Fortuna Remix III" plays as the EFW-Tron detonates!! Out
of the explosion, a blue figure flies down to the ring on a flaming ripcord. He backflips off of it into the ring. The ripcord handles hit the Spanish
Announcers' table,seeming to cause another huge explosion, along with
"Engel" beginning to play.
Out of the remains of the table, a fiery burst shoots up, and two
figures rise out of the crater. As the
blue one keeps anyone from leaving the ring, the rest of the mysterious group
converge on the ring. After a brief
struggle, Painkiller is subdued. The
largest of the group pulls out two nails.
As the group lashes Painkiller’s hands to the cross, Legion hands him
the hammer!)
Legion-
“We are The Inquisition, bane of all who sin.
The Unforgiven shall be our example to the rest of you...”
(Nightmare,
unable to stand by and watch this happen, attacks Legion from behind!! The
Inqusition quickly subdue him, but Nightmare’s struggle stalled them long
enough for the Unforgiven to catch wind of what was happening! Messiah,
Scarface and Liberator came sprinting down the ramp!! The group then lift the
cross into the air, with Painkiller attatched, and set it on the turnbuckle.
When the Unforgiven hit the ring, the lights in the arena go out. When they
finally come back on, The Unforgiven and Nightmare are left alone in the
ring)
JB : “My god, they almost crucified Painkiller!! Who are these men?! Fans,
we’re out of time!!”
ÓEFW 2000