Chance of a Lifetime II
Jim Biggins : "Hello EFW fans, and welcome to the Rosemont Horizon!! Welcome to CHANCE OF A LIFETIME II!!!! I'm Jim Biggins and with me as always is my collegue, Buck Hammerstien!! Tonight, we're going to see Vermin in his final EFW match as he defends his title against the top contenders in the league!!"
BH : "But the final participant is a mystery even to us, as everyone else in the federation is going to compete in the Chance of a Lifetime battle royal to see who gets to fill the final spot in the main event. At the first Chance of a Lifetime, the then Vicious Alliance Destructo won and went on to defeat Vermin and win the MFWL title. Will he repeat? Or will another EFW superstar pull off the upset and win the title?!? Let's go to the ring and find out!!!"
The Official List of Participants in the Chance of a Lifetime Battle Royal, in Random Order:
'Wild Ride' Scott Bravo
Sweet Daddy
The Show
Xtreme Gangsta
Onslaught
Vincent Giovanni
Mr. Wiggles
Doomsday
Executioner
'The Icon' Rick Idol
Micheal Luciano
Gangreen
HWO Destructo
HWO Sasquatch
Destructo
Weehawk
Kurt 'Sky' Walker
Warpath
Goliath
Cletus
Scorpion
Antonio Mazarini
Rebel
Striker
'The Extreme' Condo Warrior
The bell rang, and the brawl was on!! The H-Pac immediately showed it's intentions by jumping on Warpath and Destructo, two men who have been known to win battle royals in the past and beating them to the mat!! Scott Bravo had found a man much smaller than him in The Show and was crushing him into the corner. The rest of the Vigilantes came to Destructo's aid, but they were still outnumbered by the H-Pac. The Blood Brothers had found Onslaught and were attempting to gang beat him until Rick Idol slid under the bottom rope and grabbed Mazarini's foot, dragging him outside!! Scott Bravo was doing his strut and stomping the back of The Show, but Sweet Daddy came to even the odds. Climbing the turnbuckle behind Bravo, SD jumped and landed on the huge man's back, slapping him in a SLEEPERHOLD!! Bravo was stumbling around, trying to get SD off his back. Onslaught, meanwhile, grabbed Micheal Luciano and flung him halfway across the ring and into the H-Pac!! Onslaught and Giovanni were now going one on one. Kurt Walker and Cletus decided to interject themselves into the huge H-Pac/Vigilantes brawl and the sides became much more even. Bravo was almost ready to go out! He tried to fling SD over his back and out of the ring, but SD held on! Then The Show, who had gotten his breath back, charged Bravo from behind and grabbed his legs!! Lifting up, he dumped BOTH men over the top and out!!!
Bravo and Sweet Daddy eliminated by The Show at 6:31
Meanwhile, the H-pac was having a hard time fighting as a group and was eventually seperated from each other. Giovanni was using punches and kicks to rock Onslaught back against the ropes! A kick to the stomach doubled the big man over, and Giovanni set up THE DEEP SIX! Onslaught recovered too quickly for the move and stood up, dumping Giovanni over the top!!
Giovanni eliminated by Onslaught at 7:23
Mr. Wiggles ordered H-Pac Destructo to eliminate himself from the battle royal. Destructo wouldn't comply! Mr. Wiggles slapped Desutrcto, who returned with a CLOTHESLINE!! The H-pac had begun fighting amongst itself!! Gangreen and Doomsday ran over to the two to try to calm them down. Meanwhile, the the Vigilantes had recovered and were taking it to Walker, Cletus and Warpath! Rick Idol and Executioner were outside beating up Mazarini when Giovanni was eliminated, and instead of going to the back he ran over to the aid of his boss!! The tide began to turn outside when Condo and Weehawk, who were working togehter, slid out to make it a 4 on 2 beating. Onslaught was watching the brawl with interest when The Show decided to try to repeat his earlier luck and attack the big man from behind... but this time it didn't work!! Onslaught grabbed The Show in a PRESS SLAM and tossed him over the top with ease!!
The Show eliminated by Onslaught at 9:35
Internal strife inside the H-Pac continued inside the ring as Gangreen and Doomsday were having no luck controlling the enraged Mr. Wiggles. Luciano saw his chance and charged Gangreen, but Gangreen ducked at the last second and sent Luciano over the top to the floor!! HWO Destructo then went totally balistic on his fellow H-Pac members!! He grabbed Mr. Wiggles and bodily threw him over the top, then spun and CLOTHESLINED Gangreen and Doomsday over at the same time!!!
Luciano eliminated by Gangreen at 10:40
Mr. Wiggles eliminated by HWO Destructo at 10:43
Doomsday and Gangreen eliminated by HWO Destructo at 10:45
Onslaught and Scorpion of the Pantheon immediately clobbered HWO Destructo from behind to halt him momentum, while the real Destructo had grabbed HWO Sasquatch and was choking him out in the corner. Warpath, who until this time had been pretty quiet, was stomping a mudhole in Goliath. Cletus came over to try to ambush WP, but instead got a LOBOTOMY KICK to the throat!! Cletus fell to the mat, clutching his neck. Destructo had left the Sasquatch to Warpath and joined Rebel, Striker and Gangsta in attacking Scorpion and Onslaught. When Executioner saw this, he slid back in the ring to help his teammate. Destructo broke off the attack and met Executioner in mid ring!!
Mr. Wiggles was enraged and slapping Gangreen around outside the ring when the two passed by the section where CAPTIAN JUSTICE and his 100 kids were sitting, enjoying the action. Mr. Wiggles stopped and looked at them, and then called a camera over. He looked at Captian Justice and said 'Want to see why they call me Mr. Wiggles?' He then unzipped his pants and began gyrating his hips at the children!!! A censored blob covered up his crotch, but the kids at ringside were getting the full show. Captian Justice leaped over the guardrail and DECKED Mr. Wiggles to the ground!!! Security flooded the area and seperated the two, forcing Mr. Wiggles to the back.
Weehawk saw the assembled security people and noticed for the first time that over HALF the H-pac had been eliminated while he was outside the ring!!! Grabbing his bag, he slid into the ring and ran straight for Warpath, who was beating HWO Sasquatch down in the corner. Weehawk swung his bag and it SLAMMED full into Warpath's face, and the big man was rocked backwards!! Onslaught and Scorpion gave HWO Destructo a SPIKE DEVASTATOR that sent the H-pac member rolling under the bottom rope to the outside. Striker joined Destructo and togehter the two grabbed Executioner and threw him over the top!! At the same time, HWO Sasquatch came up behind Warpath to attack him, but Weehawk hit the ropes and nailed Warpath with a SPINNING WHEEL KICK that knocked BOTH men backwards and out!!
Executioner eliminated by Destructo at 14:58
Warpath and Sasquatch eliminated by Weehawk at 15:06
Destructo and Striker switched gears and went after Weehawk. Weehawk's back was to them, but right before they struck, Weehawk spun and let loose with a can of PEPPER SPRAY from his bag!! Both Vigilantes were blinded!! Weehawk grabbed a baseball bat from his bag, and taking carefull aim, BLASTED Destructo under the chin with the bat, knocking him clear over the top!!
Destructo eliminated by Weehawk at 15:46
Rick Idol and Condo had put a serious hurting on Mazarni outside the ring with a pair of chairs. They finally slid back in grabbed one of the only remaining H-pac members, Goliath. The Vigilantes swarmed Weehawk and beat him to the ground, but he held fast to the ropes and wouldn't go out!! Cletus was beginning to recover on the mat, and without the Vigilantes beating on them Scorpion and Onslaught were recovering their strength. Idol and Condo each had a leg of Goliath and were trying to lift him over. Kurt Walker then hit the opposite ropes and ran in with a DROP KICK to Goliath's chest that sent the big man over the top!!
Goliath eliminated by Walker at 17:20
Maz had regained his feet on the outside he and was seriously angry. He grabbed and chair and circled the ring on the outside. Kurt Walker hopped up to the top ropes to pose for the press at ringside, and Scorpion took the oppertunity to TOSS WALKER over the top and out!!!
Walker eliminated by Scorpion at 17:41
The Vigilantes were still trying to eliminate Weehawk when Condo ran to his side and tried to help him. The numbers were not on his side, though, and he was quickly beaten down. Idol decided to attack the one man in the ring with no alliegence: Cletus. Onslaught and Scorpion joined the fight against the Vigilantes: it was Striker and Rebel against Scorp and Onslaught and Gangsta on Condo. Idol stomped Cletus into the corner, then set ran back and CLOTHESLINED Cletus over the top!! But Cletus grabbed the rope and managed to hang on!! Idol leaned over to grab Cletus, and Antonio Mazarini came running up and BASHED Idol over the head with the chair, causing the Pantheon leader to fall over the top to the floor!!
Idol eliminated by Cletus (with an assist from Maz) at 19:00
Mazarini then slid into the ring and bashed Cletus repeatedly with the chair. Gangsta was stomping a mudhole in Condo, and turned to ask the crowd what they wanted to see next. Condo crawled over to Weehawk's bag and fished around for a second. Gangsta came over t grab Condo, and Condo rolled over and threw a FIREBALL into Gangsta's face!!! Gangsta stumbled backwards and accidently knocked Striker over the top, eliminating him!! Condo came in right afterwards with a CLOTHESLINE that knocked Gangsta over the top and out!! Scorpion took the oppertunity to dump the half dead Cletus over the top.
Striker eliminated by Gangsta at 19:52
Gangsta eliminated by Condo at 19:54
Cletus eliminated by Scorpion at 20:00
HWO Destructo finally crawled back in the ring and tried to help Weehawk up. Rebel immediately jumped on Condo and began beating him to try to exact some revenge for his eliminated comrades. Rebel whipped Condo to the opposite ropes and when he came back, BACK BODY DROPPED him over the top to the floor... but Condo held on to Rebel's costume strap and pulled him backwards, giving Mazarini the perfect oppertunity to SLAM Rebel with his chair, knocking the last Vigilante over the top and out!!! We were down to five!!!
Condo eliminated by Rebel at 21:03
Rebel eliminated by Maz at 21:05
FINAL FIVE:
Mazarini
Onslaught
Weehawk
HWO Destructo
Scorpion
Mazarini was the odd man out in the final five men, as the rest had at least one ally. HWO Destructo and Weehawk charged at the mobster! Maz intercepted Destructo's charge with a TWISTING POWERSLAM, but Weehawk came free and DROP KICKED Maz back against the ropes!! Destructo was down on the mat, Scorpion and Onslaught went in for the kill on Weehawk!! Weehawk jumped up and THRUST KICKED MAZ over the top!!! But Mazarini caught the rope and landed on the apron!! Scorpion and Onslaught grabbed Weehawk and began pummeling him. Maz stood up on the apron... and the downed HWO Destructo kicked his feet out from under him, causing him to fall to the floor!!!
Mazarini eliminated by HWO Destructo at 22:00
FINAL FOUR:
Onslaught
Weehawk
HWO Destructo
Scorpion
Weehawk fought hard, but he was no match for the power of Onslaught and Scorpion without his bag of weapons. Onslaught and Scorpion together lifted Weehawk up and tossed him out of the ring!
Weehawk eliminated by Scorpion at 22:14
FINAL THREE:
Onslaught
HWO Destructo
Scorpion
HWo Destructo had rolled back in the ring while Onslaught and Scorpion were tossing Weehawk. Scorpion turned to face HWO Destructo, and hurridly pointed him out to Onslaught. The monster turned to confront the wounded Destructo.... and Scorpion spun and CLOTHESLINED Onslaught over the top to the outside!! Scorpion had turned on his partner!!!!
Onslaught eliminated by Scorpion at 22:23
FINAL TWO:
HWO Destructo
Scorpion
Scorpion laughed at Onslaught, who was standing on the floor. The monster reached up and grabbed Scorpion by the throat, and Destructo saw his chance!! He charged Scorpion from behind and rammed all his weight into Scorp's back, knocking him over the top!!! HWO DESTRUCTO WAS THE WINNER!!!
WINNER:
HWO Destructo
Jim Biggins : "What a match!! I would never have guessed HWO Destructo would have won that battle royal. He's a virtual unknown in this league. I mean sure, he holds some victories, but they are all tainted."
Buck Hammerstien : "You're missing the point here, Jim. Now, the H-Pac has TWO shots at the heavyweight title."
JB : "True, but those are LONG shots. Destructo is going to be totally out of his league in there, and Vermin already said Hannibal was his enemy tonight. That leaves the H-pac hurting if you ask me."
BH : "Quick prediction? Who's going to win?"
JB : "Hmmmm.... I have to say Vermin. No one had been able to take the belt from him yet, I don't think tonight's going to be any different."
BH : "I choose Kyle Magnum. He is a man on a mission. Hell, I choose anybody BUT Hannibal."
JB : "Fans, the main event is NEXT!!!"
NEXT