EFW Monday Night Massacre
The Pond
Anahiem, California
(The Pond is packed to the rafters with EFW fans!)
JB : "Welcome to MAYHEM, EFW fans!! I'm Jim Biggins alongside my NEW partner, SAM MICHEALS!! Say hello to the people, Sam!"
SM : "Hello, everyone!"
JB : "Hope you're ready to fill Buck's shoes."
SM : "I hope so, too!"
JB : "Fans, here's our complete card!"
MAIN EVENT
Four Way Dance to determine Gauntlet Match Order
"Mr. Massacre" Kyle Magnum vs Nomad vs "The ICON" Rick Idol vs Messiah
Tag Team Tournament, First Round
Nomad/Nightmare vs "The Extreme" Condo Warrior/???
"The ICON" Rick Idol/Onslaught vs Scorpion/Paul Savage
No Rules
The Texas Outlaws w/ Jimmy Hollywood vs Tyrant/???
JB : "Alright, lets---... fans, I'm being told something is happening in the parking lot!! Get a camera out there!"
(A limo is seen pulling into the parking garage. It stops, and Jimmy Hollywood steps out of the far side. No sooner does that happen than the squeal of tires is heard! A huge white ice cream truck comes screaming into the shot and slams right into the side of the limo, crushing it in!! Tyrant jumps out of the passenger side, carrying a sledgehammer as Cross and Widowmaker crawl out the other side of the limo with Jimmy. The camera pans to show the driver's side of the truck and out jumps MR. WIGGLES the clown, carrying an oversized clown hammer! Wiggles and Tyrant each go around one side of the car and trap the three men between them. Wiggles and Tyrant use the hammers to incapacitate the Outlaws, then drag them out of the shot. Jimmy Hollywood follows them out of the shot, carrying Cross's branding implements)
Texas Outlaws vs Tyrant/Mr. Wiggles
No DQ
A referee joins the four men in the backstage area and our match is underway! Wiggles tossed Widowmaker down a flight of steps early on, and the double-team beat down on Cross ensued. Tyrant and Wiggles pounded Cross with various objects that they found in the loading dock area- crates, barrels, chairs, etc. For almost five whole minutes Wiggles and Tyrant kicked the hell out of Cross, with the texan never catching a breather to make a comeback. Then, Widowmaker came roaring back into the fray with Jimmy Hollywood! Jimmy handed Cross his branding iron as Widowmaker took Wiggles out with a vicious chair shot. The tables were suddenly turned on Tyrant and Wiggles and although Cross was hurt, it was the Outlaws dishing out the beating! Widowmaker planted Tyrant through a nearby table with a TIGER DRIVER, then turned his attention to Wiggles. Cross began choking Tyrant out with a cord, tobacco juice running down his face the whole while. Widowmaker whipped Wiggles into a stairwell hard, and then came in with the LARIAT FROM HELL... but Wiggles grabbed Widowmaker around the waist, lifted and STUN GUNNED him backwards onto the stairwell's metal handrail!! Wiggles then went crazy, bashing everything he could find in the area over the body of Widowmaker. Cross saw what was happening, and left Tyrant alone to go help his partner, but he was AMBUSHED.... but not by someone you'd expect!! JEAN-PIERRE MOLSON and HANNIBAL LECTER who appeared to be making his return in a red and white uniform jumped Cross and beat him to the floor!! Hannibal dropped and applied the TENDERIZER until Cross stopped struggling. The two then draped a Canadian flag over the texan's prone body before leaving the scene. Wiggles eyed Molson suspeciously and then applied a weak armbar to Cross. The referee had no choice but to end the match.
RESULT:
Tyrant/Wiggles d. Outlaws via submission at 16:01 (Wiggles over Cross)
SM : "So Hannibal Lecter is back!!"
JB : "NO. That was NOT Hannibal Lecter."
SM : "Huh? It looks just like him!"
JB : "Lecter is almost 7' tall and built like a tank, that guy was the same height as Molson. And did you see how Wiggles reacted? Trust me, fans- that was NOT Hannibal Lecter."
SM : "Someone must be impersonating him, then. But why?"
JB : "The President and Buck know something about Molson that we don't. Maybe that would help solve the mystery."
"The ICON" Rick Idol/Onslaught vs Scorpion/Paul Savage
Tag Team Tournament, First Round
Onslaught and Scorpion started out in this match, and Onslaught's rage would be his undoing. Although not a cruiserweight, Scorpion used his speed and clear head to his advantage. Onslaught contiunally rushed in and was caught in ARM DRAG TAKEDOWNS by Scorpion. Scorpion contiunally taunted the monster to make sure he wouldn't cool off. Savage was tagged in and you could see that his training had paid off: he was confident in the ring and applied the same strategy that Scorpion did: he kept Onslaught off-balance.
All that changed when Onslaught finally tagged in Rick Idol. Idol pounded both men from pillar to post with cold determination. Savage was taken out and forced to tag after a SPLIT-SECOND DDT. Scorpion had a little more luck and managed to force Idol to tag out with several HELL STABS to the throat. Onslaught roared back into the ring and this time Scorpion and Savage would not have the energy to avoid him: Scorpion was immediately THUNDER FIRE POWERBOMB WHIPPED to the mat, Savage ran in and recieved the exact same move!! Savage bounced through the ropes to the outside of the ring by the force of the move. Onslaught whipped Scorpion into the corner and flattened him with THE STONEWALL, then grabbed his throat and planted him with a DEVASTATOR!! Onslaught went for the cover, but Savage slid into the ring and broke up the pin. Idol tagged himself in and gave the signal... and when Scorpion got to his feet, he was SLAMMED back to the mat with the LEGEND KILLER!! Onslaught intercepted Savage with a lariat that spun him in a flip when he tried to break up Idol's pinfall attempt. A moment later, Idol had won the match.
RESULT:
Idol/Onslaught d. Scorpion/Savage via pinfall at 16:17 (Idol over Scorpion)
The bell was ringing, but Idol and Onslaught didn't seem to care as they continued to brutalize Savage and Scorpion. Nomad was quickly out to help his friends, but he was followed by Condo and was beaten down quickly by the three on one advantage. NIGHTMARE was next to a thunderous ovation, but he was followed by THE UNFORGIVEN!! The Unforgiven went straight for Idol and Onslaught, ignoring the rest. Liberator and Onslaught traded blows, Idol went toe-to-toe with Messiah!! Scarface and US Champion Painkiller quickly joined in and The Pantheon made a hasty retreat out of the ring. The Unforgiven followed them leaving Nomad and Nightmare to tend to their fallen comrades. Paramedics came to the ring, but Scorpion and Savage were tough and walked out under their own power.
Willie O'Grady Open Challenge
Willie O'Grady struts to the ring, wearing a irish green leisure suit. He calls for the mic.
O'Grady : "Okay, which one of you is gonna answer my open challenge?"
(No one comes out)
O'Grady : "Come on, there has to be SOMEONE back there who wants to face me!"
(Again, no one comes out)
O'Grady : "Nobody, huh? All you guys are scared of the Irish Dancing Machine? Well that's fine, because if I'm not fighting I can give the people what they really came to see. Hit my music, laddy!"
(O'Grady's music hits and he beings disco dancing around the ring. He reminds you of what would happen if George Murasan tried to dance like John Travolta. Security mercifully clears him out of the ring after a minute or so)
Nomad/Nightmare vs. "The Extreme" Condo Warrior/???
Tag Team Tournament, First Round
The ring was cleared and it was announced that this tag match would be next. Nightmare decided to give Nomad a breather and started out for his team. Condo made his entrance, followed by his partner..... BO ABOBO!! Condo laughed it up, but as soon as the bell rang Nightmare knocked the smile right off his face. Nightmare was in no mood for jokes and Condo was soon tagging out to Bo as his offense seemed to have no effect. Bo had about the same luck, after some amatuer style takedowns Nightmare tagged in Nomad who vaulted into the ring with a MISSLE DROPKICK that sent Bo rolling under the bottom rope and out of the ring! Condo tagged back in and the same result happened here: Condo landed some chops and a slam, but Nomad skipped the early stuff and went straight to a JUMPING PILEDRIVER!!
Soon though, the Unforgiven, led by Messiah, came down to the ringside area. They didn't interfere, but surrounded the ring. The distraction was enough to let Condo land a LOW BLOW on Nomad and then quickly DDT him to the mat. Condo quickly jumped up the turnbuckles and came off with a DOUBLE FOOT STOMP, but Nomad rolled out of the way and sprung into a SIDE JUMPING NECKBREAKER!! Bo came in the ring to try to help, but was intercepted by Nightmare who caught the running Abobo in the stomach with a kick and then a FINAL NIGHTMARE!! Condo tried to crawl away, but Nomad grabbed him into the DANGER ZONE while Nightmare stood guard. Condo was forced to tap!
RESULT:
Nomad/Nightmare d. Condo/Abobo via submission at 19:21
(Bo was no good at all in this match, 16 of the 19 minutes Condo was in the ring)
As soon as the bell rang, the Unforgiven leaped into the ring! Painkiller and Scarface went after Nightmare, Messiah attacked Nomad before he could release the hold on Condo.. but Liberator took his golden nightstick and attacked Bo Abobo!! Condo took one look at the scene and left, wanting no part of it. Scarface landed a COPPA STOPPA on Nightmare as Scorpion, Savage and the rest of the Sickos on Parade came to the ring and ran the Unforgiven off. Liberator had to be thrown off of Bo by Vermin, but Messiah and Painkiller succeeded in getting him to leave. The Sickos were left in the ring when....
Voice : "Hey VERMIN!! Looking for me!?"
(Jimmy Hollywood, mic in hand, came through the curtain and to the ring. Vermin was shocked. The rest of the Sickos cleared to the outside as Jimmy came into the ring itself)
Jimmy : "I'm sick of running from you! I---uglh!!"
(No sooner were the words out of his mouth when Vermin's hand shot out and wrapped itself around his throat!! Vermin lifted Hollywood off the mat by his neck and began shaking him around like a doll. The Outlaws hit the ring quickly, Cross came in swinging his branding iron!! It slammed into the back of Vermin's neck and BENT from the impact. Vermin tossed Hollywood aside and instead wrapped his hand around Cross's head, squeezing it! Widowmaker hit the ropes and landed a LARIAT FROM HELL, but it wasn't enough to down the champion. Cross swung the branding iron at Vermin's knee and forced the big man to one knee on the mat. The rest of the Sickos looked on as Widowmaker wrapped his bullrope around Vermin's neck and pulled backwards, keeping him down. Cross prepared to brand Vermin as Jimmy Hollywood recovered his senses and began talking trash to Vermin on the mic. As Cross brought up the iron, Vermin seemed to be egging them on, ASKING to be branded! Bane decided he'd seen enough and the Sickos rushed the ring. Bane grabbed Cross from behind in his old finisher, CALL THE PARAMEDICS, while Bo dumped Hollywood and Weehawk attacked Widowmaker. Jimmy ran for the entryway, but the Outlaws won't run from a fight!! Vermin just lay on his back in the ring, laughing, while Bane slapped the downed Cross into a rear naked choke. Widowmaker pummled Weehawk into the corner... but turned his back on Bo. One BACK DROP DRIVER later and the Outlaws were both laid out in the ring. Security flooded the area to clear the ring)
MAIN EVENT
Kyle Magnum vs Nomad vs Rick Idol vs Messiah
Gauntlet Order Match
RING ANNOUNCER : "Ladies and gentlemen, it's time for tonight's MAIN EVENT! The order of elimination here will determine the order of participants in the GAUNTLET MATCH as SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST!!"
('Deliverance' preceeds the entrance of Messiah, accompanied by the Unforgiven. He is now strongly booed by the fans in attendance, but doesn't seem to care)
('Legend' is next and "The ICON" Rick Idol stalks through the curtain, Onslaught in tow. He appears furious for some reason, perhaps because he was given only the second entrance. He jumps into the ring and immediately attacks Messiah!)
Idol pummled Messiah to the mat, then pulled him up and threw him hard into the corner! The Unforgiven leader was taken totally by surprise by the attack. Idol kicked Messiah down to the mat and then began STOMPING him, until KYLE MAGNUM and NOMAD hit the ring behind him!! Idol intercepted Nomad with a CLOTHESLINE but Magnum hit Idol with a SHOULDER CHARGE that sent him flying over the top rope to the outside!! Magnum climbed out after him, leaving Messiah with Nomad. Magnum whipped Idol into the steps on the outside as Nomad approached the downed Messiah. Messiah pulled himself up on the ropes and came running out with a LIGER SHOUDA that knocked Nomad back across the ring! Messiah pounced on Nomad and began punching and kicking him around the ring, Nomad backing away and trying to defend all the while.
Outside the ring, Magnum levered a LEG DROP on Idol's back, but when he pulled him to his knees Idol punched him square in the GROIN and then pulled down on the straps of his tights, sending him head-first into the steps! Idol went crazy and after grabbing the back of Magnum's head repeatedly SLAMMED it into the steps!
Nomad managed to catch Messiah in a DROP TOE HOLD when the Unforgiven leader went for a kick and gained the upper hand in the ring! Nomad slung Messiah into the corner, then hopped up on the second buckle and held up his fist! The crowd reacted with a thunderous ovation and Nomad began drilling his fist into Messiah's head while the crowd counted along!
Rick Idol saw this happening on the outside. He left Magnum and grabbed the timekeeper's steel chair. He climbed the steps, and when Nomad went for #10 Idol PLASTERED him in the head with the chair!! Nomad lost his balance... and Messiah took advantage, stepping forward and POWERBOMBING Nomad down to the canvas in the TOTAL DAMNATION!! This was all the Vigilante leader could take on the night as the referee counted three.
Messiah eliminates Nomad via Eternal Damnation at 6:15
Idol wasted no time. He slid into the ring and ambushed Messiah from behind, kicking and stomping him down. Magnum himself came back into the ring a few moments later, and the double teaming started on Idol! Magnum and Messiah combined for a DOUBLE POWERBOMB, then stomped away at the downed Idol. Messiah grabbed Idol into a BOW & ARROW BACKBREAKER, and Magnum stomped on Idol's stretched ribs while he was in the hold! Idol refused to give. Messiah released the hold and Magnum lifted Idol into a CANADIAN BACKBREAKER! Idol stiff refused to give in... Messiah came up in front of Magnum and gave him a THUMB TO THE EYE, breaking their semi-truce!! Magnum dropped Idol and Messiah slammed him to the mat with a STANDING SIDE KICK! Idol rolled into the corner to recover his wits... when Scarface of the Unforgiven came over and started CHOKING him!! Messiah thought he had Magnum down, but Magnum threw him halfway across the ring when he kicked out of the pin attempt! Magnum stood up and rocked Messiah back into a corner with a RUNNING BOOT, and then started clubbing him down with his arms!
Onslaught roared over to Scarface and knocked him backwards in a flip with BACKFIST to break the chokehold. Idol seemed to come alive after this!! Seething with rage, Idol charged up behind Magnum. Magnum turned at the last second and Idol CLOTHESLINED him over the top and outside the ring!! Messiah circled around behind Idol, who didn't appear to see him, because he was totally concentrated on Magnum. Messiah grabbed Idol's shoulder to spin him around, but in one smooth motion Idol turned and BLASTED Messiah right in the nose with a LEGEND KILLER that lifted him up off the mat!!! Messiah's prone form crashed to the mat, and even the people in the cheap seats could see he was NOT getting up tonight.
Idol eliminates Messiah via CRITICAL at 13:12
Idol paid no more attention to Messiah and ordered Onslaught to roll Magnum back into the ring. Onslaught complied as the Unforgive dragged their leader out of harm's way. Idol dropped to the mat and CHOKED Magnum with both hands as Scarface used some smelling salts he had brought with him to revive Messiah. Idol pulled Magnum up and then planted him back down with a SPLIT-SECOND DDT, then ran up the turnbuckle and delivered a DIVING FIST DROP!!
The crowd was really on Idol's case, and he gave it back to them by grinding his boot into Magnum's face. The Unforgiven still had not left the ringside area, Painkiller and Scarface appeared to be arguing about something as Liberator carried the half-awake Messiah over his shoulder. Idol started stomping on Magnum's injured right shoulder and that was all it took to bring him back to his feet!! Enraged, Magnum grabbed Idol under the arms, pressed him and THREW him into the top turnbuckle like a dart!!
It seemed that the Unforgiven was leaving the area, but Scarface suddenly ran back towards the ring! With a hatred of Idol burning in his face, he grabbed the chair Idol had used earlier on Nomad and waited fr his chance to strike!!
Magnum pulled Idol up and delivered a CALM BEFORE THE STORM screwdriver to the Pantheon leader, and was setting him up for the grand finish!! Magnum pulled Idol up and whipped him to the ropes... Scarface lifted the chair and swung, but Idol reversed the whip!! Scarface slammed the chair right into the hurt shoulder of Magnum!! Magnum stumbled out of the ropes and ran right into the waiting Rick Idol who LEVELED him to the ground with a LEGEND KILLER!!! Idol fell on top of him for the cover: 1-----2-----3!!!
Idol eliminates Magnum at 15:14
RING ANNOUNCER : "Ladies and gentlemen, here is your winner.... he will be the LAST MAN FIGHTING in the Gauntlet Match, "THE ICON" RICK IDOL!!!!"
(Idol pushed Magnum under the bottom rope with his feet, and then gave Scarface a double middle finger salute. Onslaught, Condo and Jade joined Idol in the ring. With their leader down, Painkiller decided that a retreat would be wise to fight another day. Idol climbed the turnbuckle and screamed "ICHI-BAN!!!!" as the crowd booed him and threw trash into the ring)
JB : "Rick Idol has the best chance to win the EFW world title at Survival of the Fittest! He will be going in last, and is guarenteed a fatigued opponent!! Can he become the next EFW WORLD CHAMPION!? This is Jim Biggins and Sam Micheals saying SEE YOU NEXT WEEK!!!"
Copyright EFW 1998.