EFW Friday Night Massacre
Brendan Byrne Arena
East Rutherford, NJ
(10, 000 fill the arena for the EFW’s debut in the Brendan Byrne Arena in New
Jersey. The big screen shows the faces of each wrestler on
tonight’s card and hits the slo-mo for pictures of Destructo, Marty, Bane,
Nomad, and Corruption. The screen then fills with the EFW logo
and fireworks explode)
JB : "Welcome to The Meadowlands Sports Complex fans for EFW Friday Night
Massacre! I'm Jim Biggins with Buck Hammerstien and we
have quite a show for you tonight. We’ll see Marty the Mauler again take on
Bane as well as the EFW Heavyweight champion Destructo in
action tonight. And even though Destructo’s title is not up for grabs his
partner Corruption IS risking it all against Nomad."
BH (sporting a neck brace) : "That’s right Jim, and I can’t help but wish that
Bane and the Sickos all get what they deserve. Add some
exciting Lightweight action between Jigoku’s newest zombie, Leech, and the
always dangerous Johnny Homicide and I can’t wait to get
started!"
JB : “OK Buck, let’s see how tonight’s card is laid out!”
MAIN EVENT
Corruption (c) vs Nomad
United States Title Match
Leech vs Johnny Homicde
Marty the Mauler vs Bane
Zodiac vs Destructo
(Non-title)
Weehawk vs Pain
Steel Cage Match, Submission Only
Jeremyz vs Eazy-T
Starfire vs Striker
BH: “That cage match looks interesting. I can’t believe Pain would agree to
that. He’s taking perhaps the biggest risk of his career here.”
JB : “Well, President Giove added that one just this morning so maybe the lack
of preparation time for Weehawk will even out things a bit.
Of course the Sickos need no time to prepare for any no-holds-barred match but
Pain must have something up his sleeve. That’s later though,
for now let’s get it going with our first match of the night.”
Leech vs Johnny Homicide
he night started off with some Lightweight action. The match saw Jigoku
shouting instructions from the apron from the opening bell while
The Dead patrolled the ringside looking for any Sicko they could find. Still,
Homicide got off early. He mixed it up with effective grapples as
Leech tried to stay away. In only his second match Leech showed he possesses a
mix of Fleshmonger’s brawling as well as Parasite’s power.
Homicide was bloodied early when Leech clawed him viciously to the back but it
got really ugly when Homicide, tired of Jigoku’s rantings,
went after the High Priest. Pulling his bat from his corner Johnny charged the
High Priest and nailed him square in the face. Jigoku, busted
open, fell from the apron like a rag doll and laid motionless on the floor.
Leech saw this and went ballistic. He charged Homicide but Johnny
heard his growl and was ready. Leech went for the throat but Homicide fed the
zombie a mouthful of bat. Amazingly, Leech bit right through
it, freezing JH. A claw to the throat and knee to the gut sent Johnny to the
mat, gagging. Leech quickly locked on his ZOMBIE
STRANGULATION and Johnny fell into slumberland from loss of blood. The ref
made a quick arm test and called for the bell. Leech
released but slashed Johnny’s back deep before joining The Dead to take Jigoku
to the back. Arena Medics rushed to aid Homicide and
Johnny was seen moving as he was carried off.
RESULT:
Leech d. Homicide at 4:53 via submission (Zombie Stragulation)
Marty the Mauler vs Bane
In our second match we saw the #1 contender meet the #1 sex symbol in a
rematch of last week’s contest. Marty came to the ring with both
Warpath and Sweet Daddy and proceeded to show his HWA belt off for all to see
while calling out “Destruuctoooo” in a mocking tone of
voice. Bane then came down after his obligatory hip shaking and touchy-feely
antics with the female fans, who always love this. Marty was
out for blood after Bane took his time entering and laid into him. The two
differing styles fit perfectly. Marty hit a knee to the gut from the
ropes into a DDT then followed it up with two ELBOW DROPS to Bane’s lower back
but then took time to joke with Sweet Daddy as Bane
lay there gasping for breath. Bane, no rookie, played possum and caught Marty
with a DROP TOE HOLD into a REVERSE CHINLOCK.
However, Marty had damaged Bane’s back so that he couldn’t exert enough
pressure. Marty easily crawled to the ropes...HIS corner of the
ropes. Warpath quickly jumped in and spun the ref around, arguing that Bane
had choked Marty while Sweet Daddy landed a LEAPFROG
DROPKICK from the apron right into already injured Bane’s back. Knowing their
jobs were done, both Warpath and Sweet Daddy both
climbed the guardrails at this point and engaged some female fans. Bane still
had enough to fight out of the SUNSET FLIP Marty rolled him
into for a 2 count but ran out of gas after Marty lifted him into a textbook
EASY 3.
RESULT:
Marty the Mauler d. Bane at 6:36 via pinfall (Easy 3)
Marty got to the curtain but immediately stumbled back out onto the ramp.
Xtremegangsta emerged with his barbed wire bat and proceeded
to pound Marty almost to unconsciousness. He then pulled one of the sound
mikes from the walkway and screamed “What’s up now,
Marty!?!”. Marty was in no condition to reply as X dropped the mic to the
floor in front of him. He then turned to face the camera mouthing
“See ya in two weeks, Warpath!” before fleeing the scene as Warpath & Sweet
Daddy rushed up from the crowd)
JB: “This is simply amazing! The Sickos, The Vicious Alliance, The HWA
Contingent, Xtremegangsta...we could be looking at the
beginning of the biggest feud professional wrestling’s ever seen. Speaking of
The Vicious Alliance, Destructo’s up next!”
Destructo (c) vs Zodiac
Non-Title
This one was bad. In his second straight non-title match against a member of
TMATM, Destructo came down with Devastation and was
actually talking strategy WHILE ZODIAC WAS ATTACKING HIM!!! Zodiac’s FOREARM
SMASHES to the back did nothing but 2 shots
to the kidneys got Destructo’s attention. That was the last thing Zodiac did
that could even remotely be confused with an offense though.
Destructo looked like he had places to go and things to do as he blocked or
broke every hold or move Zodiac tried. With 3 1/2 minutes gone
Destructo turn it up a notch and leveled Zodiac with a JUMPING ELBOW TO THE
HEAD. As Zodiac lay on all fours, Destructo motioned to
the crowd and Devastation led them in their cheers. Destructo hoisted Zodiac
up into the IRON MAIDEN and bounced it up and down while
screaming out “BMF! BMF!”. To his credit, Zodiac hung in there for close to 20
seconds. BMF Jr. ran down to the ring just as Zodiac gave
in. As BMF Jr. made a move to enter the ring the champ dumped Zodiac over the
ropes right on top of him. Devastation and Destructo exited
but not before pointing to a fan’s sign that read “Marty Who???”
RESULT:
Destructo d. Zodiac at 4:03 via Iron Maiden
Weehawk vs Pain
Steel Cage, Submissions Only
The cage wasn’t even secured properly before Weehawk came running down the
ramp with his “bag of tricks”. However, Nightmare met him
and ripped the bag away from him. Weehawk looked upset but didn’t complain
much. He simply climbed into the cage and sat on the mat,
Pain came down the ramp with Vegetto & Dreammaster. Bo & Vermin followed
slowly behind escorted by armed guards. As Pain entered the
cage, Nightmare was heard to tell Vermin “He tries anything funny and I’ll
take you all out myself.” Vermin seemed to pay him no attention
but Bo answered back with a hearty guffaw. Once the bell sounded, Weehawk
never moved. Pain walked over and the viper struck though!
Grabbing Pain’s leg, Weehawk slapped on an ANKLE HOLD that dropped Pain to the
mat. Pain kicked the Sicko off and Weehawk retreated
to his corner humming the Oscar Meyer wiener song. In a few seconds though,
Pain was all over him. The two traded inside moves like EYE
GOUGES and KNEE SMASHES and Weehawk fired Pain into the cage once, twice,
three times! Pain was bloody and Weehawk was giddy
like a school girl. Nightmare complained that Weehawk had something in his
hand but the ref disagreed, Bo was seen taking something from
the littlest Sicko through the bars but the match went on. Pain, to no one’s
surprise, was simply out of his league here. A few mild
submissions was all he could muster. Even his trademark CRUCIFIX was of little
help. Weehawk continually went for pin attempts, slapping
the mat himself, before looking into the camera and mouthing “Oops, no
pinfalls!”. Nightmare & Vegetto had seen enough and called for the
bell but were reminded this was a submission only match. If Pain wanted to end
it he would have to give up himself. Both Trio members,
Nightmare & Dreammaster, knew pain wouldn’t do that so they simply had to grin
and bear it. It was actually Weehawk who ended the
carnage after tiring himself out on Pain. Catching a breather, he was caught
unawares by Pain with a REVERSE DDT which gave him the
chance at another hold. Weehawk seemed to yawn into the camera and kicked Pain
off before applying his RAGNAROCK’S EVIL ankle
hold. Pain tapped out and Weehawk jumped up and left the cage. Nightmare went
in to help Pain up but pain brushed him away and limped
up the ramp himself. No one saw how a balloon animal made it’s way to center
ring after everyone left.
RESULT:
Weehawk d. Pain at 4:31 via submission (Ragnarok's Evil)
BH: “Amazing that Vermin was so tame. I guess President Walters showed him
who’s boss. This federation is not going to be turned into a
freak show, I applaud Mr. Walters for his actions.”
(On the way out, Vermin pointed to a sign in the crowd that said 'Buck Hammerstien 4:187')
BH : "Ahhh... can we get some more coffee up here, please?!"
Jeremyz vs Eazy-T
Jeremz was into the ring first, sitting on the turnbuckle awaiting Eazy. Eazy
then came down with both Hare Razer and Lil OC Murray at his
side. As they got closer Jeremz looked a bit uneasy but Eazy had a quick talk
with his partners. As Murray and Hare Razer took up positions
at opposite corners on the floor we were guaranteed this score would be
settled in the ring! Eazy started it off with a “You don’t leave me
Bitch, I leave you!” followed by a wicked left to the jaw. Jeremz seemed
stunned and didn’t get it going until about 2 minutes later. He never
really dominated but he did have a counter or return for everything Eazy
dished out. POWERBOMBS, NECKBREAKERS, and ARM
DRAGS were traded back and forth and it was still a tossup until both men came
off of the ropes at each other. Looking for all the world like
we would see a double clothesline, Eazy stumbled over the ref and both men
would crash into each other head first! Referee Larry Seeley was
knocked into the turnbuckle and slipped through the ropes to the floor,
unconscious. It was here that the surprise of the night took place. “I’m
Comin’ Home” came on over the PA system and the spotlight hit the ramp. Out
would walk Krystal and Kristina accompanied by a huge
bodyguard. A few steps later they all stopped on the ramp and looked to the
curtain where out walked...OCJ!!! All four would stop on the
ramp as Hare Razer went to check it out. In the ring, Eazy lay face down and
Jeremz rolled around holding his nose. Eazy struggled to his
feet and Murray yelled “No Mercy!!!”. Eazy reached down, locked in an IRON
CLAW on Jeremz and hauled him to his feet, bleeding. The T
then looked to the crowd and laid in a BEAR HUG on the screaming Jeremz,
bashing his back into the ringpost. Jeremz was through for the
night. OCJ bolted for the ring past Hare Razer as Eazy doubled Jeremz over and
planted him with his patented DDT. The ref crawled into the
ring and 1, 2, 3 seconds later Eazy T had the victory.
RESULT:
Eazy-T d. Jeremyz at 9:51 via pinfall (after a 421 Hangover)
As soon as Eazy released the hold, OCJ climbed into the ring and just
assaulted the helpless Jeremz. He then grabbed the mic and shouted out
“This Jeremz is just an impostor trying to be me. Well, I hate to tell you all
but The Real is here to stay and that punkass, prissy boy is
history!”. Murray climbed into the ring and dropped an RWO/RAG shirt over the
bloody, mangled face of Jeremz and exited with Eazy and
OCJ.
JB: “What do you make of that, Buck? A fake OCJ? How could he have fooled the
rest of RAG? Tonight just keeps getting stranger.”
Striker vs Starfire
Starfire looked very tentative here after seeing Zodiac beaten earlier but
Striker came to play. This however, would be his downfall. A
systematic attack would not work on the taller yet thinner Starfire. His wiry
frame allowed him to be much more athletic, even catching
Striker from FROG SPLASH and turning it into a ROLLING DDT. Starfire kept the
pace quick and dominated throughout. Near Mid-match
Dancer came down and urged his teammate on. Bad move as this group is
notorious for it’s LACK of cooperation. As Dancer began barking
commands, Starfire thought he was trying to steal the spotlight and turned his
back on the fallen Striker. No Vigilante would pass up this
moment so Striker hooked Starfire from behind and executed a tremendous BELLY-
TO-BACK THROWING GERMAN SUPLEX!! Starfire
was tossed clear across the ring and Striker quickly scrambled up the nearest
post. While setting for a DOUBLE AXEHANDLE, Starfire
surprised him and rushed the turnbuckle. Not fast enough it appeared though as
Striker dropped to a sitting position and met him with a foot
to the face. Starfire spun around once and collapsed on his back. Striker then
leaped for the roof and connected on an incredible TOP
TURNBUCKLE SPLASH. Dancer tried to keep the ref away but the 3 count happened
with no resistance from Starfire. Dancer left the ring
without once looking back. TMATM fell for the second time tonight and continue
what looks like a bad losing streak.
RESULT:
Striker d. Starfire at 6:11 via pinfall (Top Rope Splash)
MAIN EVENT
Corruption (c) vs Nomad
United States Title Match
Ring Announcer: “Wrestling fans, we’re now at tonight’s MAIN EVENT!"
("Highway to the Danger Zone" starts and scenes of Nomad appear on the big
screen. Nomad enters with Jazz and makes his way to the ring)
Ring Announcer: “Our challenger is a former World Champion and is one half of
the current EFW Tag Team Champions. Hailing from
Boston, Massachusetts I give you NNNNNOOOMAAAAD!!!”
(Nomad undoes his Tag Team belt and hands it to jazz who raises it for the
crowd. They all go wild. Nine Inch Nails’ “March of the Pigs”
begins and the lights dim. The cheers lessen but remain constant. Corruption
too comes out without his partners and heads straight for the
ring)
Ring Announcer: “Welcome the current U.S. Title holder...from Detroit,
Michigan...weighing in at over 350 lbs
...CORRRRRUPTIONNNN!!!”
(Corruption climbs in over the top rope and proceeds to mount the turnbuckles
showing his belt off to the fans as Jazz waves goodbye. They
cheer wildly but is it for Corruption or Jazz?)
Ring Announcer: “This match is set for one fall...with a 30 minute time
limit...and will be for the EFW United States Championship!”
JB : “I like Nomad’s chances here, Buck. Striker has already seen success
tonight and Nomad always seems to ride his teammates’
enthusiasm like a tidal wave.”
BH: “You’re right but Destructo’s also won tonight and after seeing his
partner totally destroy the newcomer Zodiac, Corruption is gonna
want to equal that effort. I can’t call it but I know it’ll be good!”
JB : “I’m sure you’re right on that point so let’s see how it takes place.
There’s the bell. It seems Nomad has backed off into his corner and is
just waiting.”
BH : “That’s not gonna work on Corruption. He’s a champ so I think he’s too
smart to be baited so early.”
JB : “Maybe not, Buck. Corruption charges Nomad. Nomad leapfrogs him and lands
a SPINNING BACK KICK between the shoulder blades.
Now he backs into Corruption’s corner and rests on the ropes. He’s playing
mind games with Corruption. I wonder how long it can last?”
BH : “This is not smart. Being a smaller man, Nomad should keep the pace high.
He can’t win a slow match with this man.”
JB : “Good point, we’ll have to see. Corruption charges in again and Nomad
jumps to the turnbuckle but wait! Corruption stopped short and
now has Nomad sitting on the buckle. The challenger sees he’s at Corruption’s
mercy and doesn’t look too good.”
BH : “Well, we all know The Vicious Alliance doesn’t have too much mercy for
their opponents. Nomad shouldn’t have tried this slow down
game.”
JB : “Corruption grabs Nomad and CHOKESLAMS him from the buckle straight to
the mat! Now he turns to stomp him and Nomad grabbed
the boot! Nomad grabbed the boot! He gives it a vicious twist and listen to
Corruption scream. Now Nomad jumps in with a quick FIGURE
FOUR but gets nothing but a boot in the face for his troubles.”
BH: “Nomad’s a vet. He knew he had the champ hurt and went for the figure
four. The first lesson you learn in wrestling is to take out the
legs of a big man.”
JB: “Corruption now up to one leg, he’s got his balance now. He knows he needs
a breather and he gets one! He’s just dumped Nomad over
the top rope onto the floor outside. It wasn’t pretty but it worked. Now he
scrambles to the opposite corner and starts massaging that ankle.
He’s swivelling it and it looks like he’s got some motion. Nomad’s outside but
he sees Corruption and he’s having none of that. He climbs the
ropes and leaps. Oh my God! He’s jumped and Corruption doesn’t see him! Bang!
He lands a MISSILE DROPKICK from the top rope on the
prone Corruption! The champ is out of breath and hurting and Nomad knows it.
He slides behind him and locks in a SLEEPER.”
BH : “That’s not too smart. They’re both in the corner and the ref will break
it.”
JB: “Yes, you’re right but I see what Nightmare was shooting for, he didn’t
want to give the champ any time for another breather. The ref
breaks them and Nomad drags Corruption to the middle of the ring. I think he’s
gonna...yes, he gives the sign. Nomad slips on THE
DANGER ZONE! Corruption’s almost out but he can sense he’s done for. He’s
flailing about wildly trying to break it but Nomad has it on
tight. Corruption’s fighting but he can’t go anywhere. The ref sees his
struggling slow down and tests the arm. He raises it and...it drops!”
BH: “Wait Jim, look up at the curtain! It’s the Vicious Alliance!”
JB : “Well, security has already met them but they’ll only slow them down.
Nomad had better hope time is on his side. The ref raises
Corruption’s arm again and it dr--Ouch! Corruption just bit Nomad’s back
trying to escape. That breaks the count but it also shows how
desperate he is. He knows he’s done for. We are gonna have a new U.S. champ,
folks! Nomad is going to go home with the gold tonight if he
can just hang on. The ref raises the arm, it falls quickly. Nomad is bleeding
badly now. The ref tests the arm again...and it drops for the
second time! Corruption’s sleeping! Nomad’s won this! Nomad’s won this! Just
go for the pin!!! Oh no! The Alliance have reached the ring!
The ref goes to test the arm again but Devastation picks him up and tosses him
over the top. Now Apocalypse lands a kick to the back of
Nomad’s neck. But Nomad is still holding on! His eyes are wide open but he
doesn’t seem to see them. What’s going on?”
BH: “He’s zoned out. He can’t feel any of it. All he knows is that Corruption
hasn’t given in and he’s not letting go.”
JB: “This is horrible! Destructo’s just standing there giving instructions.
Devastation’s laying in AXEHANDLES to Nomad’s shoulder and
Apocalypse is kicking away! But Nomad still has it locked in. Corruption is a
pile of Jello but Nomad won’t let go! The ref has seen this and
calls for the bell. It’s over folks. Nomad wins but can’t take a title by DQ.
This will be a costly win too as the Alliance are still in there. Wait!
Nomad heard the bell and dropped the hold. He thinks it’s over and it may
be...Destructo is now whipping him with the belt but here comes
the cavalry!”
(The curtain parts and the Vigilantes run down the aisle led by...Jigoku
Rabbit? Jigoku remains at the curtain as Rebel leads the charge, he
then exits)
JB: “Well the Vigilantes have hit the ring and it’s madness! Nomad is lying
face down and bleeding from the back. Corruption is face up and
out cold and all 6 men are brawling like mad! And now Vermin’s in the ring!
Vermin stomps Corruption’s ankle and slings Nomad over his
shoulder. Now he’s up the ramp where Jazz is waiting. The Vigilantes follow
them up the ramp and the Alliance continue the brawl.
Destructo has Corruption but he’s out like a light. This one’s over folks but
Nomad has paid the penalty for this win.”
RESULT: Nomad wins in 5:32 via DQ
Corruption retains the belt
(note: Nomad won the first round and came close in the second but by the rules
must win both to take the title)
JB: “So apparently Jazz went to get Vermin while Jigoku got the Vigilantes.
Why did the High Priest do that? I can’t even guess but I’m sure
we’ll all be seeing the repercussions from this one for a long time to come.
>From the Meadowlands, I’m Jim Biggins speaking for Buck
Hammerstein and the entire EFW staff when I say Good Night!”
(Highlights from tonight’s matches flash on the screen ending with Nomad
holding Corruption in The Danger Zone with the look of a
madman. The EFW logo sparkles onto the screen and the screen fades to black)
Copyright EFW 1998.