Sickos On Parade
Seldom Asked Questions

We don't get many questions here, mainly because I hide my e-mail from cretins, but also because nobody gives a shit. This website is a magnet for apathy. In any event, sometimes I DO get questions, and when I do I will answer them here. Please note: I did NOT make up any of these questions. Each and every one was submitted by an SOP reader. If you wish to submit a question to the SAQ, do so at the forum.

Last Update: Questions 77-86 added 8/12/10.

The Questions
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Q: Can we stop genocide?
A: That depends on if we can find him. Do you know where he is?
Q: How do you make a sheep think?
A: Make him watch Donnie Darko
Q: Who would win in a street fight: Batman or Superman?
A: Eddie Albert.
Q: Are the zip-off travel pants dorky, or dorky but useful?
A: I believe the actual technical term for this is 'faggoty' but I could be wrong.
Q: Q: In Transformers: The Movie, who exactly became Cyclonus? Was it Skywarp or Bombshell?
A: A: The whole "Cyclonus, the warrior, and his armada." line from Unicron has been under debate by TF scholars for years. There is no generally accepted definitive answer, though personally I go with Skywarp. There's no way of knowing whether or not that Bombshell was even really Bombshell and not one of his various brainless clones, and Skywarp and Cyclonus share both a color and general body type. NOTE: This answer is special in that it is serious and yet ridiculous at the same time.
Q: What's it doing in the middle of a sheep paddock?
A: Watching Donnie Darko.
Q: Do they only paint Red Houses or do they only Paint Houses Red?
A: Farts.
Q: Will a painting that looks like something from real life ever be called art again?
A: Only if it is a velvet painting of Art Carney.
Q: Is Megaman's hair real hair, or synthetic?
A: It is a fiber optic re-creation of aboriginie pubic hair, which was then implated on a robot aboriginie, then shaved and transplanted on to Mega Man's head. So the answer is: it's both.
Q: Which non-Star Wars Movie has the most Star Wars actors?
A: Mark Hamil.